Ramblings of a 'not it' big girl

Why am I so fat? Fat, fat, fat! That's all I can think about. I just feel that if I reach that perfect weight, I will be "perfect." The problems I have now just won't matter anymore. 1

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Why is it that all the skinny bitches have everything? Popularity, the guys, the looks? I just imagine the entourage of friends, guys and party invitations I would have if I was thin enough. 3

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Something is wrong with me. I can't help stuffing my face every chance I get. I wish I was anorexic. At least then I'd be in control. Sometimes I eat so much I end up having to puke. Hmmm, there's a thought, maybe I'll puke from now on. Maybe then I'll lose weight. 5

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I hate throwing up though. It scares the shit out of me. I can't stand kneeling by the toilet and having the water splash my face. So gross. 7

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I've tried everything. Diet pills, exercise, starving myself. Even though I was only able to starve for half a day. Thus, me wishing I had the willpower to be an anorexic.9

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My sister, Valerie doesn't help my situation either. Apparently she took after my mom's side of the family. Small, petite, with a perky little figure. Perfect Valerie with her trim size 3 body. Even though she has had two kids she still "has a teenagers body". Or so my mom says. What about me? I'm a teenager! What about my body, mom?! 11

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"You're what is nowadays called 'voluptuous', hon," mom says everytime I glare at her when she raves about Valerie's perfect body. My dad always goes on about me being big boned. He says I remind him so much of his sister, Sara. No offense to aunt Sara, but I've seen pictures of her when she was young and she looks like a linebacker. All she needed was a football uniform and I'm pretty sure she'd be mistaken for one.13

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My best friend Ron always tries to make me feel better. He's a bit on the heavy side, gay, and has incredible taste in fashion. We like to go to the mall and make fun of the 'walking sticks'. I'd trade shoes with those girls any day to tell you the truth. I just wish I felt good about myself the way Ron does. If someone calls him fat ass, he just says,15

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"There's more of me to love, darling!" Just like that, let's it roll off his back.17

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He's my soul mate. He always tells me that if I had an eight inch appendage between my legs, he'd be on me like cellulite on Britney Spears' legs. A bit gross of an analogy for me, but it works.19

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Ron is such a drama queen. He's always meeting some hot stud whom he thinks will end up being his prince charming. It works for a while but then it always ends with a hissy fit, his ex being the biggest twat on the face of the earth, and me being the big sympathetic shoulder he cries on. I don't know how he does it, but I swear he has a new boyfriend every two weeks. 21

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Hmm, maybe I should be a lesbian. Maybe I'll have more dates that way. Maybe same sex dating is the way to go! Maybe lesbians aren't as harsh or shallow as straight guys are. 23

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Nah, just thinking about rug munching gives me the willies. I may have one, but it's kinda gross if you think about it. I mean, it bleeds once a month for crying out loud! Not that it wouldn't be clean, but still.25

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Anyway, I gotta go. Ron and I are gonna go the the movies and make fun of the anorexic actresses. Maybe I'll meet a fat loving guy! I wish. We'll see. I'm out. 27

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A contest entry

What do you think? Am new at this so please bear with me

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • FacelessMask
    2 hours ago
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    I very proud of this story...
    although a little hurt...(I'm skinny)
    But you had very good guts...
    try writing from a skinny girl's point of view...
    its not all its crack up to be...
    over all i like it ...
    try working on how you ended it...

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • seamus gold member
    2 days ago
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    Nicely done

    You do a nice sketch of your character explaining and relating cause and effect. YOur readers can "get inside" your character's head. Good flow, didn't beat any single point to death.


  • Rorshach gold member
    November 25
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    One thing that i've learnt is that exercise is terrible for weight loss. You just gain more muscle, and muscle is even heavier than fat.
    Anorexics are so smug, as they know that the discipline is very difficult.
    Starving yourself hurts, and every model knows that hurt.
    I like Ron, sounds like a great best friend.
    Terrific stuff here, so real that I'm almost waiting for you to give me a call.


  • majorpaul
    November 25
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    Nice start

    Great opening! I have heard girls say that exact thing, so people will relate to it!
    I like the rambling style. But somehow let us know if she is talking out loud or thinking or what. Where is she?
    Mom's have to be nice--its a rule. Its a good way to work that in there!
    Love line 19-20!
    This is a good start. This story can go someplace. It has the conflict, now you need to resolve that somehow.
    Please! Finish this!

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 5, characters: 4.


  • therenaissancegirl
    November 20
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    Haha this was a cute rant, something I think a lot of people (girls especially) can relate to. Not exactly what I was expecting from prompt #1, but good nonetheless. I like being surprised thanks for entering, and best of luck to you in my contest!

    Renaissance


  • Five-By-Five
    November 20
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    this is so true. im a big girl too. most of the thoughts expressed here is what i think about constantly. and yeah its hard being the fat girl. ive tried everything to lose weight but nothing has worked. so yeah. thanks for posting this maybe somebody with read it and understand we maybe fat but were human too. thanks for posting. you're a good writer. keep writing.


  • Stars-are-Blind93
    November 17
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    This was really good!
    i liked the way you use the first person and the dialogues were very fluent!
    it expresses really well the struggle that "different" people have in modern life! you found a nice topic and narrated it very well. keep up!

    I wish good luck in this contest|


  • ELFgirl12 silver member
    November 15
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    You're a very good writer! It's hard to believe, after reading that, that you're "new at this". There is absolutely no need to bear with you, because that was very well done! I really felt the mood of the story, and I liked how it kind of had a casual yet serious tone all in one. I hope to read more of your writing, and different kinds of it too! Anyway, this was a very good story. The gramar and spelling were, for the most part, perfect. As was the punctuation. My advice would be to only double space the paragraphs, instead of quadruple space them, because then the reader will be able to know how many paragraphs there actually are and which paragraph is which. Anyway, keep up with the good writing!!!

    -ELFgirl12 (Ellie)


  • seasonsoflove
    November 8

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    I hear you. My sister's a size two and I'm ..... not quite that. Everything in this makes perfect sense. Great rant you've got here, hon.

    Word of advise: lesbians can't ever find dates either. Trust me. It sucks.

    Great job on the rant though. New at this? Really? Wow. Good one.

  • Marta gold member
    November 4

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    Oh, I like the way this was written, the girl has attitude. Doesn't she know that big is in this year? Drop Dead Diva on the Lifetime channel is, cool and funny and so new.

    I'm with Ron.....so much more to love. I am not skinny nor "big-Boned" but, somewhere in between--average I guess in weight, but I don't worry about the weight thing, that's so last year.

    Great write and enjoyable, your protaganist is funny and I like her sharp humour. as the kids would say "You go girl!"

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • E Ardania silver member
    November 4

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    I simply love how this is somewhat like an excerpt from a diary... It's filled to the brim with emotions and personal thoughts. That builds up the girl's character nicely.

    I can't help but understand her situation. (I must admit I would like to be a few kilos lighter, but oh well... I like to think some of it's muscle ) You've really gone, in depth, into her head. Her envy is perfectly natural; her wishes are sarcastic but believable.

    The occasional grammar mistake, eg. ["You're what is nowadays called 'voluptuous', hon.", mom says...] --> "You're what is nowadays called 'voluptuous', hon," mom says. Otherwise, perfect.


  • lipman
    October 30

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    It's awesome

    It's almost like 'free verse' style writing. There's nothing we can say is wrong with it because the character is just speaking her thoughts. It's something anyone can relate to, whether they are fat or not. It's cool because it seems as if we're being able to look inside the mind of the everyday girl who shoulders herself with burdens regarding being 'thin' and being 'it' Nice read, free verse writing may be your thing

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 2, ending: 4, characters: 5.


  • darthnider
    October 28

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    You have no idea how much I enjoyed that! Such unadulterated honesty and emotion! I really got into that girl's head, and I love her! Well done

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • I Write naked gold member
    October 27
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    great job, I really felt for you (the character)


  • onaya3
    October 27

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    It's a heartfelt piece...

    ...which oozes with raw pain and honesty; which usually makes a powerful combination. It's also the perfect mirror to the human condition, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Overweight people wish they were thin; thin people wish they had curves; poor people wish they were rich; stupid people wish they were smart; depressed people wish they were happy etc etc etc...

    However I really like the character Ron in this piece. Sure he has his sad moments with his break ups as he chases after his Prince Charming and sure, maybe his insecurities comes out with his excessive dating and searching for validation that way. But his quote, "There's more of me to love, darling!" which is brilliant in the light of "if you've got it, flaunt it!" or even, "work it baby, work it!"

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Queen Mab gold member
    October 27

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    This is excellent. I totally feel for the girl. I've been there, but with more success at the eating disorders. (comes from acting in high-school plays) Now though, I'd kill to be 50 pounds lighter. ugh.... I love Ron's character. Your characterizations are spot on. Keep on writing. You've got a gift.

    ~Mab


  • Just Falling Apart
    October 23

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    I feel like this all the time
    My friends and I always make fun of skinny girl, alll the time. Not aloud, of course. I really liked this story! Ron sounds awesome!

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