Sheaaogs chapter 3

Chapter 3 1

“So.” Matt said, crossing her arms and smirking at James. Her eyes glinted with a determined spark, though light was nearly dead. “What’s first?”2

He looked at her, an unreadable expression of his face. The night, young and stretched out above their heads, had come at last, following an uneventful day of silence. Now that the darkness had fallen, snow spiraling down from the black sky, James had seemed to have a satisfactory amount of time in thought. Matt had convinced him to teach her some combat. He stared at her for a moment, and then said in a less than engaged voice, “Stretch.”3

Matt furrowed her brow. “Seriously?”4

“Unless you want to wake up unable to move in the morning, then yes. Stretch.”5

She heaved a sigh of impatience, and reached to her toes. Her fingers clutched the tops of her boots for a moment, allowing muscles to loosen, and then she stood back up. She spent the several moments hurried and feeling restless. When she had finished enough to at least satisfy herself, she looked back up at him, grinning. “There.” She told him. “Stretched. Now what?”6

“Well,” James said, and put his hands in his pockets, walking up to her. “You have four options. Speed, agility, strength or power.” He rolled his eyes, and glared at her. “Three options. Speed, agility or strength. First you need to pinpoint what you have a natural talent in.”7

Matt thought a moment. “I don’t know.” She said. “I’m pretty strong. I could beat boys at arm wrestling since I was ten years old.” She grinned, raising her eyebrow in challenge. “Wanna try to beat me sometime?”8

He remained completely disinterested. “Your not strong.” He told her. “And all this time you’ve spent stumbling around the woods, I’m going to assume you aren’t agile either. You seem to be fast enough, so I’ll go off that.”9

A shiver of shock ran through her body, and she was almost insulted. Crossing her arm she walked up to him. “Thanks a lot, I appreciate your support. You haven’t even seen what I can really do. Nothing’s even happened yet, you don’t know what I can handle.”10

“Whatever.” James said, allowing her to approach him. “Anyway, the factor that is necessary with speed is agility, so that’s what we’re going to work on.”11

He had ignored her completely. She was disheartened but thought it useless to continue the argument. She would be able to express her potential eventually. “What are we going to use?” asked Matt, heaving a sigh. “We don’t have any hurdles or anything.”12

“You’re from the plains.”13

She nodded.14

“Then just run around the forest.”15

“Just run?”16

He nodded.17

“Why?”18

“Where else will you be running around for the rest of your life?”19

Matt looked at him again, but quickly diverted her eyes, selected a direction where she would take off. With a heavy sigh, she started jogging into the trees. 20

The crisp air drifted passed her face as she moved forward, snow coming down on her hair. Her breathes were steady as she moved each foot in front of the next, a pattern that continued repeatedly. She watched her boots for a while, seeing the deep imprint they made in the snow, and then looked forward. A tree stood ahead of her. 21

She grinned and took a deep breath, exhaled air coming out in a cloud. This tree would be what she circled, and then she would return to James, proving that she would be able to run through this maze of trees, despite his thinking. 22

With ease, she reached the tree and made a tight circle around its rough trunk. Then, she jogged back to him, slowing to a halt as she approached. “See.” She said. “I didn’t trip at all. Do you think I’m so ‘un-agile’ now?” 23

“I’m not impressed.” James told her. “You moved like a turtle. A five year old could have run that far at that speed, and in that course you ran.” He dropped his arms to his side. “Do you think I’m going to show you how to take a leisurely jog? The only way to get at good at what you’re trying to do is to challenge yourself. Go faster.”24

Matt huffed a bit, and then turned around and went again, at a greater speed. 25

She went a different route, preparing to weave around trees, when a root took a hold of her foot.26

Gasping as surprise leapt through her chest, she was pulled to the ground, face drilling into the deep snow. 27

Humiliated, Matt stood up. She didn’t turn around, but glared in his direction, where she could just imagine him smirking at her and irritation stabbed into her chest, no matter how irrational the emotion was. 28

Instead of facing him, Matt drilled on, faster this time then before, and with more determination. The snow blocked her feet, slowing her marginally, but she continued to move forward.29

For at least two hours she ran, tripping over the invisible roots, rocks, bumps and holes that hid below the surface of the snow, which steadily grew deeper as it pooled down from the cloudy sky. The temperature dropped until Matt was cold even inside her insulated hoodie, and her lungs grew raw from the freezing air. 30

It was with a final fall, skidding into the ground and getting another face full of snow that Matt decided to succumb to her exhaustion and go back to James.31

He sat by a tree, leaning against the thin trunk and dozing off. 32

She smiled at him, and bent down, grabbing his arm and pulling him up sharply. “What do you think you’re doing?” she asked him, throat soar from all the cold air. “You’re going to die if you fall asleep in this snow! I think I saw a cave this direction, let’s go.”33

“I’m not cold.” He grumbled, and rolled away from her, tumbling from his tree backrest to the ground. He sunk into the snow like a bolder. “Shut up.”34

Matt grabbed his upper arm and heaved at him. Unwillingly, he stood and she managed to drag him back.35

The cave Matt remembered seeing was further away then she had thought, residing a little more then mile away from where they were, and it had a big mouth, letting in a strong and cold draft. 36

Shivering, Matt grabbed the firewood she had kept in her backpack and stacked it up. She took out her matchbook and, after heaving several heavy breathes onto the flame that threatened to burn out, she managed to make a fine fire. 37

She looked over at James, who had been asleep the whole time. A twinge of worry wormed its way through her, and she reached forward, sliding her glove from her hand and felt his cheek. Warmth spread onto her fingers and she drew them away quickly. His flesh burned with fever from sleeping in the cold night.38

Frowning, she laid down. The exhaustion that pulled at her body was too much to bear, and the concern for her teammate would have to wait until morning.39

*********40

Matt woke up the next day, shivering and uncomfortable. Her nose was plugged and her body seared with soreness. Pressure pooled into her head, coming even faster as she sat up and looked around.41

Everything was silent. The fire had died in the middle of the night, and light shone through the mouth of the cave, which had snow spilling into it. 42

Standing up and looking out, dread rose into her chest. The snow, that had fallen all night, went up to Matt’s waist and stretched for as far as she could see. 43

Heaving a deep sigh, she crossed her arms and thought about what it was she should do. They could press on, through the snow. Matt, feeling depressed at the head cold that she had fallen victim to, considered the thought with reluctance and misery. Turning back around, she sunk to the rocky ground, pebbles uncomfortable as she sat. 44

She looked upon James. He was another reason for her decision. If he was sick with a fever then he couldn’t travel if she wanted to. 45

Wind blew in, filling the area with its unforgivable chill, and Matt pulled her arms together as she shivered. Looking around, she saw the small logs that she had intended on using to feed the fire during the night. But, to her luck, she hadn’t used any. She picked them up quickly, arranging them in a way that would make a functional fire. Then, she grabbed her backpack, which had been singed by the blaze from the previous night, as Matt had put it close to the fire in her exhaustion. Taking out a match, she struck it with all her might. 46

The flame of the small stick sustained for a moment before the breeze swept in and promptly extinguished it. Matt let out a sigh of frustration as she moved to take another out.47

“Problems?” asked a voice. Matt looked up quickly, jumping at the sound in the otherwise ringing silence. James had woken. Sitting up, he grabbed the matches from Matt’s hand and struck the match quickly against the side. 48

The lick of fire that sat atop the small piece of wood shone brilliantly and held strong enough to move onto the firewood. 49

“Thanks.” Matt muttered. The fire grew and Matt began to feel the warmth it brought, heaven on her numb face.50

Reaching into her backpack, which remained on her lap, Matt took a hat and shoved it down on her head. The flaps covered her ears, keeping the draft from their iced tips. 51

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying to seem aloof.52

He looked at her. “Sure.” He muttered, and looked into the snow. 53

Matt followed his gaze. “I don’t think we should travel today.” She told him, and sniffed. “Too much snow.”54

Nothing was said for a moment, when James turned back to the fire. “What do we do, then? Sit here and hope it melts?”55

“No.” Matt said, and glared at him. “I mean, we’ll just take a day off. You have a fever and I caught a cold last night.”56

He looked at her. “I don’t have a fever.”57

“Yes you do. You were burning up, and the way you just went to sleep in the snow was really stupid, James. I mean, people die from doing that.”58

“Yeah, well…” He never finished his statement, but looked into the fire for a while. 59

The flames lit up the cave with sits soft flickering and Matt began feel her surroundings accept the glow and heat up. She turned around and pulled her blanket around her shoulders. “What do you want to do today?” she asked. 60

“Eat.” He said almost immediately. 61

Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh yeah! Breakfast!” she reached into her backpack once more and took out a full loaf of bread and a jar of blackberry jelly. “How does this look?”62

He viewed it without enthusiasm. “Do you have anything else?” 63

Taken slightly aback by his question, she looked in her backpack. “Well, I have some dried meat and fruit, and some potato chips and carrots and stuff. Another loaf of bread. Why?”64

“How did you get all of it?”65

“My mom went to our neighbors, who have a greenhouse. The man grows it, and the woman prepares and sells it at cheap prices in our town.” She smiled. “We are pretty lucky, where we live. Well, where I lived. I don’t live there anymore. We almost moved into Pipertab, where they have all those overpopulation problems now. Really, most places are overpopulated now.” She smiled “That’s another reason why it’s important to get rid of Sheaagos, you know? That way people can move out of the cities in the plains back into the mountains. And greenhouses won’t be robbed as often, so there will be more food, and there will be more trade.” She grinned. “I’ve had chocolate one time, you know, like they grow on the west side of the mountains, where they get more sun. It was so good! If trade was better, because traveling would be less dangerous, then stuff like chocolate or pineapples would be able to get around more and people could have different food to eat, rather then whatever’s growing. That sounds great, doesn’t it?”66

“Fantastic.” James muttered.67

“You know, I’ll bet they have everything like that in Rhonum.”68

James gave a small snort. “That place is a myth, anymore.”69

“No it isn’t.” she told him. “People have been the edge of the dome and seen it, it’s real.”70

“Maybe it was, when it was first made, but any of those people inside that damned bubble have died by now.”71

“No.” Matt told him, and grinned. “My dad went there once, when he was rebel. And, the spot where he was at, there was a crack in the wall, and inside he saw grass that was green and cut to perfection. He told me that someone had to of taken care of that grass, because if growing grass is left untended to it will grow tall and unruly. But the grass he saw was smooth and perfect. So, there must be people there. People who live a life without the chaos and disorder that’s out here.” She sighed, then coughed a little, feeling winded from talking. “Someday,” she muttered, “we will all live in Rhonum.”72

“That’s stupid.” James muttered. 73

“Well, I don’t mean literally.” Matt told him. 74

“I know you don’t, you idiot.” James spat. “It’s still stupid, and what does grass have to do with anything. For all you know they could have cows or sheep inside Rhonum that eat the grass. Grass means nothing, you just want to believe that someone out there gives a crap about life.”75

“I give a crap.” Matt told him.76

The fire crackled, flaring up between them. Matt stared into it, silenced for a moment. “So,” she muttered. “You’ve been in these mountains before?”77

“You think?” he growled in reply.78

“Well, what will be up there. Like, will there be bears or whatever we should watch out for. Or any towns we could hit while we’re going, to replenish our food. Or…” she sighed, reluctant at the thought, “or get a job, so we can get money to replenish our food.”79

“There isn’t much out there.” James told her. “Rosieville’s a couple miles away, which has some big greenhouses, but other not much other then that. A couple of towns scattered around.”80

“We’re going to have to hit them when we can.” Matt said. “We wouldn’t be able to get far without food, and eventually our team will grow and there will be more people to feed. But, they may bring some money with them, and they’ll earn what they get.” Matt sighed. The future seemed held such excitements. She couldn’t imagine what kind of people she would meet. If they were all anything like James then… well, they would be helpful and interesting, but Matt may end up incredibly depressed by the time they had succeeded.81

She looked up at him. He glared down in the fire, which reflected sharply in his dark blue eyes. He seemed depressed, although he wouldn’t share why. 82

“Hey, James.” She said, and smiled. She pulled up her sleeve and placed her elbow on the ground. “You want to try and beat me now?”83

He looked down at her. Then, with a reluctant sigh, he reached down and placed his hand in hers, smashing his elbow onto the rocks.84

Matt was filled with excitement, chest feeling lighter then it had before. She narrowed her eyes and began to count. “One… two… three… go!”85

She thrust her hand towards his, as did he. But, to her dismay, it was her hand that was being shoved towards the downward. 86

Gritting her teeth she pushed harder, feeling her upper arm muscles tighten. She concentrated hard, managing to hold him off for a couple seconds. But, as her arm gave out, she felt her hand slam against the hard ground, knuckles making harsh contact with the rocks. 87

She pulled her hand up, wincing. “Crap, you are strong!” she exclaimed and held her injured fist tightly. Looking down to it, Matt saw that she had hit the earth with enough force that blood was beginning to form in the scratches. “It’s been a long time since I lost. Except to my Dad, but you give him a run for his money.”88

“I’m well practiced.” He sighed, and sat back again. A twinge of irritation covered her, which bit her lip to suppress. She wish he had been affected at least a small amount. 89

“Well,” Matt muttered, “so is he.” She stuck her fist into her mouth, sucking on her wounds. After a moment of silence, he stood up decidedly. 90

“I’m taking a walk.” He told her. “I’ll be back by night.”91

“You’re sick with a fever.” She told him irritably. “The snow is four feet up, do you think that is a smart move?”92

“Shut it.” he told her. His fists tightened and he glared at her. “I don’t have a fever. Just leave me alone there’s not use in worrying about me.”93

“Well, what do you suppose I do while you’re gone? Just sit here and talk to myself?”94

“I wouldn’t recommend it, you’re crappy company.”95

“Shut up, James. Go on your walk, then, I’ll take a nap.” She looked warily at the fire. “Stupid thing, I hope it doesn’t go out and get cold again.”96

He hardly heard her, having all ready started out of the cave.97

Matt laid down and turned toward the fire. The gentle flame felt warm against her face, although, having no pillow, the ground was bumpy and uncomfortable. 98

She never got completely asleep. She would close her eyes for an extended stretch of time, only to wake up coughing or due to the chilly air as the fire got low. Then, she would feed it and lay back down. 99

Although the hours felt long, they passed with little effect and soon night came. James, although she half didn’t expect it, returned. He held dead rabbits in one arm, and some more firewood in the next. 100

Matt grinned, although she still felt groggy from the day of resting. “You caught Rabbits?” 101

An annoyed expression crossed his face as he looked at her. “I wanted some meat.”102

“I don’t care why you got them! I’m starved and rabbit meat sounds so good!”103

He threw them at her. “Cook them if you want them.” He sat down and leaned against the cave wall. “The snow isn’t as deep a mile away from here- unless you suddenly decided to be a baby about being cold then you should be able to force your way out tomorrow.”104

“Yeah, sure. I’m feeling much better now, and a good meal will help that out. I’d be able to set out tonight!” she looked at him. “Are you feeling better?”105

He rolled his eyes. “Damn it, Matt, I don’t have a fever and I never did. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I don’t get cold easily.”106

“Well, yeah, but after being in the snow you shouldn’t have been that warm.”107

“Did it occur to you that your hand was cold and, in comparison, my face was warm? You worry over the stupidest things.” Under his breath and in a darker voice he growled, “All women do, they just need to shut up.”108

Matt glared at him. 109

She finished preparing the rabbits and they ate in silence. Then, when the bones had been disposed of and the sun ended it’s course through the sky, sinking to the bottom of the mountains, James fell asleep and Matt stayed up, listening intently into the night.110

Within an hour, some voices rose above the silent air.111

Author notes

Woo hoo! At last I was able to type!

God, things have been so busy! The dam built on my creative sprite had built up so much pressure I thought it would burst until I got chance to type. Now I feel much better. And, I should post more often because I've concluded to force time to type on a nightly basis!

Anyway, so, what did you think? Did not enough happen? I was going to add the first part of the second chapter to the end to this, but I thought this chapter was pretty long, and left it be. However, if you think I should add the second part so something happens, and the legnth won't bug you, then I will (on my printed copy- on sw it'll have to suffer because I don't want to make you guys go back here to read it.)

Well, thank you for reading and sticking with me. I'm sorry for my inconsisitancies, I'm doing my best to do what I can with the time that I have.

See ya,
Savannah

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Ugh, I never commented on this did I? I said I would, I messaged you... but I never did.

    This chapter is rather good, its a good one to put before they find Kayln, it adds more character development, and detail to the story early on. Contrary to the post below I think the arm wrestling scene fit just fine, Matt is rather childish at times and James is trying to prove that she is not as strong as she thinks she is, so the arm wresting bit fits perfectly for this purpose. The chapter length was just fine as well, not so short that I felt disapointed but not so long that my mind began to wonder (and it has been doing a lot of that lately). Overall a vast improvement on your last draft of this chapter. Can't wait to read more! It won't take me forever to comment next time... err... maybe.


    • Surreal Rhapsody
      November 4
      Edit | Reply
      Yay! I forgot that you never commented on this. I'm glad you liked it. Ha ha, I'm never sure what to do when I get contridicting comments like that, and I can't exactly take my own word for it (because I wrote it, it'd be too bias) but, you know the characters, while Spazzel does not. So, I'll take your word for it.

      Thank you for commenting and reading.

      -me


  • FiberThyme
    October 27

    Edit | Reply

    well done

    This chapter held my interest well. It makes me wonder why Matt puts up with James, he is so gruff, critical and unhelpful. On the other hand, who else is there? The chapter is long enough, not too long. I would not suggest changing that. At the end of the chapter I want to read more...a good thing. there are a couple of words that are not quite what I would expect...misused I think. If you want feedback on that let me know and I will find them. For example: "Her breathes were steady as she moved each foot in front of the next, a pattern that continued repeatedly." "Breathes" may be "breaths" and one would say each foot in front on the "last". (that still doesn't flow quite right to me)...."one foot in front of the other" maybe?

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

    • Surreal Rhapsody
      October 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the comment.

      Ha ha, James is more helpful then you know. You just haven't seen it yet.

      All right, I all ready know I need to give this chapter a good edit, but thank you for pointing out the errors.

      The "gs" mark the paragraph number.


  • MirrorIrorriM
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    g3: *seemed to have had a satisfactory...

    g5: phrasing it "If you want to be able to move tomorrow morning" would portray the same thing with less unnecessary words

    g6: "She spent the several...restless" sentence doesn't make much sense in context. I think you could remove it. Also, for the last bit, "When she had...grinning" sounds confusing. It would be clearer as "When she had stretched enough to at least satisfy herself..." Also, go read my article on punctuation dialog now. Now.

    g11: he just said that they weren't going to focus on agility in favor of speed...

    g12: not technically true. "Whatever" is an acknowledgment.

    g28: how can she glare in his direction without turning around?
    Remove "no matter how irrational the emotion was" because it's not particularly irrational. Also, let things like that go unsaid. The way it is now is too much a tell.

    g32/32: some inner thoughts being revealed on Matt's part would be good hear. You're trying to flesh out character in these early chapters, and a good way of doing that is by showing the relationship between characters, and their thoughts and feelings on each other. Note I said you should be "showing" the relationships, though, and not "telling".

    g33: there's a tense error in the first sentence. "She smiled...down" is past tense and then you have "grabbing...sharply" as a simultaneous tense. Is she really grabbing his arm and pulling him and bending down all at once? Or should it be she smiled, bent down, grabbed his arm, and pulled him up. Watch your chronology and portray with the proper tense.

    g41: the last sentence is confusing here

    g43: *the snow that had fallen **last night went up to Matt's waste...

    g44: whatever you were trying to say with the last sentence, you got it kind of confused

    g45: you might want to preface this with a discussion of the mentioned decision. You didn't say Matt had decided to stay in the cave...all we know is that Matt is sitting. She might just be gathering her strength.

    g46: "unforgivable" probably isn't the right word here.

    Is it really that hard to strike a match?

    g81: *the future seemed to hold such excitements

    g82: repeating the word "depressed" twice in two paragraphs is blah

    g93: The last sentence should have some sort of punctuation. "Just leave me alone - there's no use in worrying about me"

    Generally quite good, though a few little tense errors and technique things that probably come from just being out of practice in writing. Sorry it took me so long to get to reading this. Hope you found the comments useful.
    Much love,
    -Mirror

    • Surreal Rhapsody
      October 25
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for the comment. Yeah, I didn't have time to look over it the night I posted it, then I went to my dad's house and when I was reading what I had to my sister (when it was printed) I saw all these errors. It will be fixed.

      Thank you much for the comment! I'll try to read some Gamblers Mirror today. With school starting, and the engagment party I went to in Maine, and lots of stuiff going on it's been very busy so I haven't gotten to read. Sorry about that. I'll try to pick up my act.

      -Savannah


  • Spazlle
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    very nicely done, it was an easy and enjoyable read and i could sit at my computer and keep on reading
    However my little peice of critism is the arm wrestle between Matt and James, its seems a little childish and seems a bit out of character on James' behalf. Maybe make Matt secretly witness James karte chopping a peice of wood or something like that to demonstrate his strengh. Though in a snowy plain there isnt much to test your strengh on
    Again this was very nice and easy slow paced read, keep it up
    P.S i'm a little confused bout the timeline of the story, did you delete the other chapter when James and Matt walked out of the snow and into the forest where they found tht kid?

    • Surreal Rhapsody
      October 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you much for the comment! This is an edit of the last chapter three, before they found Kayln. I didn't like the last chapter at all, they will find her the next chapter, which will be more like the one I deleted.

      -Savannah

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