Math Killed My Son : Act 1

Math Killed My Son : A1

Characters:2

Filbercio - A top notch NASA scientist secretly assisting a rogue flock of penguins3

Emperor King - The leader of the rogue penguin flock4

Bizzed Tux the Flagmaker - A young nerdy penguin who does nothing but masturbate to pornography when he is not scripting for bash endlessly5

Reverend Jay - A fanatical religious leader6

Nukor is an evil diety, similar to Satan in Christianity.7

[ Scene One - Set in Emperor King's palace, somewhere in Antartica ]8

[ Enter Emperor King ]9

Emperor: My taxes, my riches! All gone! 'Tis man that robbed our poor country. 'Tis man who constantly robs us of our fish and snow for their damned commercialism! To think, man has not advanced to the advanced state of feudalism! 10

[ kicking of snow ]11

Emperor: Come forth!12

[ Enter Reverend Jay ]13

Jay: Estimable sir, I have seen a vision from God himself!14

Emperor: On with it.15

Jay: This very day your country shall harbor the incarnate of Nukor! Fortunately, I have performed the dance of Siki-wiki and thus we are saved, if you but believe me!16

Emperor: Nukor shall not be harbored in my country!17

Jay: It's worse, milord! If you are to let this harborer in, he shall destroy the world!18

Emperor: And what does God require of me this time?19

Jay: Of course, a donation to the Church would be fantastic. If you were to, say, give the church the meager sum of 12 fish and three balls of snow, you would be saved!20

Emperor: Begone, insane preacher! I shall do this on my own! The land of Antartica will resume its former glory once I conquer man, and what better way to scare man than to have the power to thwart the likes of Nukor.21

Jay: Milord, you cannot do it alone! But pray you consider our deal complete, God shall help!22

Emperor: No, I must do it alone. That is the path I have chosen.23

Jay: God shall provide you when you reconsider!24

[ Exit all ]25

[ Scene two, somewhere near the coast of Antartica ]26

Filbercio: I can't beleive I'm going to be the first man to circumnavigate the world in a jetpack! Man has never seen anything like this! I'm going to be famous! Oh no! My fuel guage! I hate you, fate!27

[ Filbercio crashes into the snow. Enter Bizzed Tux ]28

B.T.: Ah, crashing! My kingdom for confidence if that projectile holds a lady!29

Filbercio: Help! I'm trapped! I'm 26 years old and I'm not married! You have to help me! Please, I'll do anything but have sex with you!30

B.T.: Curse fate! It's just a man! Oh well, I'll help you.31

Filbercio: I'm sorry I wasn't the right gender. Where am I?32

B.T.: You are in antartica.33

Filbercio: What? I was headed in the wrong direction, too? I don't have any fuel to get back!34

B.T.: You may stay with me, then, because you are a stranger, and I trust you completely.35

Filbercio: Thank you, I appreciate the help. Shall we get going?36

B.T.: Yes, follow me.37

[ exit all ] 38