Bittersweet

Bittersweet Roy's POV1

Why is it that I care more about the opinions of others then your own? 2

Is it really so hard to concentrate on you alone?3

My love please know that you mean the world to me4

But my life is forever shaped by the opinions of others.5

I cry and plead for you to understand6

But the hurt in your eyes tells me that you truly don't7

Please! Please! Please! Oh please understand!8

If only to know that I stand by every word I say9

I don't lie, At least not to you10

Between us love there was nothing but honesty, a simple truth11

Oh Edward, my one and only, just listen12

You are my world, you always were and always will be13

I love you, I LOVE YOU!14

You know that don´t you my dear?15

I just don't say it often16

At least not when you're awake17

But I say it every night18

Repeat it countless times as you sleep beside me19

I feel your warmth and my heart is full of love20

How can this be wrong?21

Oh Edward, why do I care what others say?22

Why can't I just be content with you in my arms.23

I'm such a fool24

Yes! I am such a useless fool.25

You want us to come out26

You love me and want the world to know27

But I'm scared of what people will say28

The Great Roy Mustang? Gay?29

I shake my head no30

My fear overwhelming my desire to make you smile31

Your eyes cloud with tears and your shoulders slump32

Edward, don't walk away from me! Why did I cause you so much pain?33

And so I stand here all alone34

The rain is so very loud35

Lighting flashes and thunder booms36

And all I want is to be with you37

But you packed your bags and left38

Told me your heart couldn't face this pain39

The pain that I caused you everyday40

Just because I'm so selfish and afraid.41

Edward....Edward please!42

Just come back to me!43

I'd give anything, even my next breath44

Just to see you smile, hear you laugh45

I'm so cold here as I lay alone in our bed46

So cold with out you47

So lonely without you 48

Come back....49

Tears fall down my face50

It's now that I finally see the error of my ways51

You mean more to me then words can say52

Why did I let myself push you away?53

Because you were my light in the darkness54

The reason I woke up each and everyday55

You're the reason I wanted to be Führer56

To protect you each and everyday57

I curse my weak will58

I don't care what other people think anymore!59

I just care about you! Only you!60

My angel with fragile, broken wings.61

But I pushed you far away62

You left with tears in your eyes and a broken heart63

You whispered to be the words I shall never forget64

“Good bye Roy. For now and forever.”65

How could I have been so blind66

You were everything that I ever needed67

You were my world and the reason for my future68

But I continued to hurt you and you finally got up and left69

Tears, tears, tears70

I can't see anything but the hurt that I've caused71

Edward, Edo, Ed72

Please come back to me, I finally have seen what's right73

But you will never come back will you my heart?74

Forever is for good75

I can't forgive myself for what I've done to you76

And I know you'll never forgive me too77

I stare into my glass of whiskey78

And I'm reminded of your hollow eyes on the day you left79

Grief fills my heart anew80

A stab at a wound still new81

Silver. This gun is silver like your right arm82

The arm that was so gentle and yet so strong around me as we made love83

I shall never again feel it or touch your body so intimately84

And so I hold this gun close to my heart85

This gun and my whiskey86

Remind me of you87

And yet are the complete opposite of you88

Sinful in contrast to your innocence89

Edward, Edward, Edward90

My lovely angel91

I cry for you to return to me92

I shall work to bring you back into my arms.93

But for now the bottle and this gun are my constant companions94

Alcohol makes me forget that you are gone95

In my dreams you are with me96

Like I want you to be97

I promise you Edward98

I won't give into temptation99

I won't pull the trigger100

But in my heart I know one thing101

Without you life is not worth living.