The Princess of Pittsburgh

Princess Rainbow Fluffins Honeybutter laid her broadsword down by the telephone and sighed, prepared to call it a night. Her neck was bleeding – one of the zombies had gotten a little too close – and the antidote from Professor Coughblood wasn’t scheduled to arrive till tomorrow. It’s not a mortal wound, she chanted to herself, checking out her neck in the silver filigreed mirror that hummed in the presence of saints. You’re gonna be okay. You can treat yourself in time. You’re gonna be fine. 1

“You’re a liar,” she said aloud. Her blue eyes, the color of a polluted ocean, stared back at her from the mirror as she pulled the bobby pins, one by one, out of her hair. Her sun blond curls fell down to the small of her back, but the relief from having the unforgiving metal pins away from her scalp barely compared to the insistent throb from the side of her neck. The elf-woven bandage, purchased hastily from the local Wal-Mart five minutes before it closed, wasn’t helping. Already it was soaked through, sticky to the touch, but at least it hid the tooth marks. 2

Her Siamese cat, the honorable Senator Mousebane, leapt onto the small table that stood in front of the mirror. He meowed at her, a clear greeting, but Rainbow could barely bring herself to give a small smile in acknowledgement. The cat mewed again, plaintive this time, then stood up on his hind legs, resting his front paws on her chest as he stretched his sleek head as close as he could get to her face. 3

“Let me see,” the Senator commanded even as he purred. His voice sounded as raw and grated as frostbitten skin. The Senator rarely spoke with human voice – Rainbow suspected that it hurt him to do so – and she didn’t argue with him. She pulled back the curtain of blond hair that, subconsciously or not, had fallen over the front of her shoulder, blocking the wound from view. Out of sight, out of mind, she thought, but the Senator flexed his retractable claws and she hurriedly pulled the rest of her hair out of the way. 4

“The bandage?” the cat said.5

“I don’t want to take it off,” Rainbow said, not looking at him. “It will just start bleeding worse if I do.” 6

“That was an order, not a request.” She felt the razor tip kiss of his claws again and sighed. Owning a pet was supposed to be a relaxing, enjoyable experience. That’s what Diamond had promised when he’d convinced Rainbow to adopt one. The Siamese had been adorable as a kitten, but after he’d learned to talk, things had gone downhill. 7

Carefully, she peeled the sodden bandage off of her skin, feeling the tingling of elf-made healing spells fade as the connection between cloth and flesh was severed. She closed her eyes as she dropped her arm to her side. There was a perpetual breeze in her apartment from the leaky window that she’d never bothered to fix. The moving air stroked her wound with curious, drafty fingers as Senator Mousebane eyed the bite. 8

“It was a zombie,” she said before the cat could ask. “I was clearing the alley between 1st and 5th street when it happened. There were only three in view, piled behind the dumpster. I think some of the college kids were using them for broadsword practice – their arms and legs had been hacked off, stacked in the corner. Idiots hadn’t culled them, though.”9

From behind her closed lids, she could still see the living dead, their torsos twitching in the evening cold, their shattered mouths opening and closing like a goldfish out of water. The air had been unseasonably cold --Pittsburgh weather was often less than predictable -- but no steam poured from the zombie’s gaping wounds. The living dead bled at room temperature. 10

“I didn’t see the one behind the stack of crates, not in time. I was finishing off the last of the torsos when it grabbed me.” She turned around, carefully not looking at the Senator as she fished through the half-torn Wal-Mart sack for another bandage. Finding one, she tore it out of its paper wrapping and applied it to her neck. 11

“His Majesty will be worried.” 12

“Daddy doesn’t need to know,” Rainbow shot back, pressing down on the edges of the bandage, trying not to wince at the pain from the slight pressure of her fingers. “Don’t tell him, okay?” 13

The Senator butted her with his furry head, then jumped down to the ratty berber carpeting. “I’ll make my own decisions, Princess,” he said, lifting a paw to wash it with his pink tongue. When he was done, he looked up at her with his unrelenting blue eyes. “You’ve already taken the antidote, I presume?” 14

“Yes,” she lied. Don’t look away, fidget, or blush, she ordered herself. That was how he caught you last time. Damn cat and his ability to read body language. 15

She looked him straight in the eye. “I got the last ampoule. Otherwise I would have had to wait till morning.”16

Senator Mousebane didn’t answer. He stared at her, his black tail twitching slightly, and she forced herself to give another small smile. Finally, after a full minute, the Siamese walked over and licked her exposed ankle exactly three times before running through the small cat flap in her front door. He was probably late for the town hall, she reasoned, even as a tidal wave of doubt crashed over her. He was always running to some meeting or other, trying to navigate the increasingly complicated politics of Pittsburgh. No doubt he only showed up at home to check on me. He’s not gonna worry Daddy with any stories. He wouldn’t. Not with Daddy’s heart. He’ll just keep it quiet and...17

But Rainbow knew her cat too well. 18

“He’s so going to tell Daddy,” Rainbow groaned. Ignoring every single manners lesson her mother had beaten into her since the age of four, she ungracefully collapsed onto her overstuffed couch, cuddling the pillows against her chest even as she was careful to keep her neck stiff and unmoving. With her eyes closed as she buried her face in her favorite velour pillow, she kept seeing the image of the fourth zombie. All of its limbs had been intact; she still wasn’t sure why it had been spared the amputee lifestyle that its fellowmen had so recently embraced. Well, ‘embraced’ probably wasn’t the right word, but still, the fact remained that the zombie had been mobile, at full strength, and its teeth had been so rotted that one of its canines had broken off in her neck before she’d managed to push the creature back. She’d decapitated it seconds later, instinct taking over, even as she wheezed quiet, panicked squeaks with each exhalation. 19

She hadn’t even been planning on culling zombies that night. She normally volunteered with her neighborhood squad every Tuesday and Thursday, plus weekends. She’d been lucky that she’d had her broadsword with her. She’d considered leaving it at home, since the scabbard didn’t look right with her miniskirt, but she’d wanted to make a good impression with the locals. Election time was coming up soon. Daddy had been reelected King of Pittsburgh three times in a row, but a popular sheriff was running against him for the conservative party. The time honored tradition was that good girls wore weapons, so she’d strapped up tonight before leaving to tape political fliers on the sides of buildings and light posts. She’d only investigated the moaning coming from the alleyway as part of her civic duty. 20

Despite the five Tylenol she’d swallowed an hour ago, it felt like the burning pain from the bite was increasing in volume. Jesus. Why the hell had Carnegie Mellon Hospital been out of ampoules on the one night she’d needed one? 21

The phone rang. Rainbow winced at the sound. The ringer was so loud. Had she accidentally turned up the volume on it? Jeez. She lurched to a standing position and half-ran over to the telephone before it could ring again. 22

“Hello?” 23

“Yo, ‘Bow!” 24

Rainbow felt the tension leak from her spine at the sound of a female’s voice. At least it wasn’t her father, contacting her in a state of panic again like the last time she’d gotten hurt. She immediately felt stupid for even worrying about it – it wasn’t like the Senator had had the time to find her father yet, but still, Rainbow hated knowing that her father was probably going to get upset. After she’d been gored in the thigh by a unicorn last summer, Daddy had sped across downtown Pittsburgh during rush hour to get to the hospital. By the time he’d made it to the room they’d put her in at Carnegie Mellon, his face had turned almost bone-white while he’d helplessly rubbed his chest. At least he’d been in the hospital when he’d had his heart attack. As her mother constantly reminded her, it could have been worse. A lot worse. And it was all her fault.25

“Hey, Sirena,” Rainbow replied, recognizing her friend’s voice even over the crackling static of the cheap telephone. She unconsciously fingered the circular scar on her thigh as she sat on one of the rickety stools by the kitchen counter. Her studio apartment may not have been exactly luxurious compared to her parent’s mansion, but it was hers, bought with her money. The antique mirror and the diamond ring inherited from her great grandmother were the only two things she’d brought with her when she’d moved out. If Daddy, or even her mother, found out about the zombie bite, they’d insist she move back into her old room. Well, her daddy would insist; her mother would demand, if only to make her husband happy. Rainbow hadn’t spoken to her mother for five months. 26

“Um, hello?” 27

Rainbow jerked back into the present. “Oh, sorry. I was a thousand miles away. What’d you say?” With her free hand, she pulled her miniskirt back down over the scar on her thigh. 28

Her friend gave a gusty sigh that sounded like a wind tunnel over the receiver. “I said that we should meet tonight at the Eat n’ Park.”29

Rainbow frowned. “I don’t know, girl. I’m trying to save money. Bills are coming up and Planned Parenthood is cutting my hours.” 30

“No shit? Is that what that meeting was about yesterday?” Rainbow and Sirena usually walked back to their places from work together. Sirena was a nurse’s assistant, while Rainbow worked reception. Their usual conversation on their way home involved whose job was worse. 31

“Yeah. I’m down to thirty-five hours a week.” 32

“Well, I’ll buy you a piece of pie tonight. Come on.” 33

“Tonight’s a really bad night for it, girl.” Rainbow touched the bandage on her neck. “Maybe another time?” 34

“Diamond will be there.” 35

At just the sound of his name, Rainbow’s heart began to beat a little faster. She actually felt it through her chest. Jeez, she thought. 36

“So?” Rainbow knew she had paused too long before replying. She could almost hear Sirena smirking over the phone. 37

“So...maybe you might want to reconsider hanging out with us tonight?” 38

Rainbow glanced at herself in the toaster, checking out her bandage using the shiny metal side of the appliance as a mirror. At least the wound had stopped bleeding. The outside of the bandage was still a uniform white, so none of her friends would get freaked out when they saw it. 39

Rainbow bit her lip, remembering everything she’d learned about zombie attacks. The symptoms of an untreated bite didn’t start to get really serious until after the first 24 hours. Before then, victim would suffer things like a mild fever, shaking hands, some copious sweating, and the area around the bite would grow increasingly more painful. If the bite went untreated after 24 hours, or if the victim died before the antidote could take effect, then they would become a zombie.40

Going out to hang out with her friends while she was infected was stupid and unnecessary. She knew that. Everyone knew that. The evening news did a report on infection prevention like every single week. Rainbow felt her forehead with a cool hand. It was already warm with fever. If she was even the slightest bit smart, she would head on over to the hospital and camp out in the waiting room until Professor Coughblood arrived in the morning with a fresh batch of ampoules. 41

But Diamond would be at the restaurant... His schedule was so busy, he almost never had time to hang out with his friends. 42

“Besides,” Sirena continued, “a little bird told me that Diamond and his girlfriend are about to break up.” 43

“I’ll be there,” Rainbow said, barely believing what her mouth had just spoken. Jeez, there had to be something wrong with her today. 44

Sirena’s cackle was sudden and loud, so much so that Rainbow had to hold the phone away from her ear. 45

Oversensitive hearing, she remembered, as she dangled the phone two feet away from her head. Oversensitive hearing was another symptom of an infected zombie bite. 46

“See you there!” Sirena said and hung up on her end. 47

A heavy sheen of sweat had already broken out on Rainbow’s forehead. 48

“See you there,” Rainbow said to the dial tone.49

*~*~*50

A memory:51

Her back had been aching all through math and chemical science. By extranatural history, her spine was screaming in mute bursts of shooting pain, but she didn’t groan, didn’t complain, didn’t weep. Her mother had very close relationships with all of her teachers – being the newly elected Queen of Pittsburgh allowed her to invite all of Rainbow’s teachers from Saint Philomena’s Junior High to luncheons and banquets. No one ever said “no” to her. And if her mother found out that she had been weeping or moaning in the middle of class, Rainbow knew that she’d be punished.52

She didn’t pay attention to the lecture in extranatural history, which, that day, ironically enough, had been about Africa’s zombie outbreak. It’d been such an esoteric, faraway problem back then. Instead, she’d sat there in the class, biting her lip while Mr. von Brainsplatter droned on and on about the ancient rituals and political diablerie that originated the epidemic, trying not to cry. 53

It was a Monday. That Sunday, her mother had noticed that Rainbow was slouching whenever she played games on the computer. To remedy that fact, she’d strapped Rainbow into a “posture board,” a hard wooden board, about three feet long, with leather belts attached to its top and bottom. Her mother had tightened the belts around Rainbow’s shoulders and waist and made her sit, back ramrod straight, for six hours without removing it. Something hadn’t aligned correctly in her spine and the ache, which started out minor, had increased to a major shooting pain by the time Rosemary Willow, Mother’s personal secretary, had loosened the belts. The pain hadn’t diminished since then. 54

Mr. von Brainsplatter let the class out exactly at the bell and Rainbow stood up, her cheeks sucked in as she picked up her heavy backpack and stiffly walked to the door. Lunch period was next, but she knew she’d vomit if she ate anything. Glancing around the hallway to make sure that no one was looking, she walked across the hallway and slipped between the doors to the school theater and assembly hall. 55

Unless there was a performance, speech, or pep rally, the assembly hall was usually empty. Rainbow figured that she could wait out the rest of lunch in the balcony seating, then bear the rest of the school day with a stoic silence. 56

Gingerly, she lowered herself onto the folding seat cushion, but her foot slipped on the smooth floor and she ended up falling the remaining eleven inches heavily into the seat. A sear of pain rushed up her spine and she couldn’t hold back an agonized cry. She gripped the armrests of the seat so tightly and violently that one of her long fingernails bent backwards from the pressure, snapping off right down to the nail bed. She didn’t even notice it at first – the repeating messages from her spine overshadowed the discomfort of the fingernail.57

“Um, are you okay?” 58

Rainbow snapped her head over to her left and gaped at the boy who was sitting there, only three seats behind her, with a silver flask in his hand. She must have walked right past him, not even noticing that he was sitting there. She recognized him at once; Saint Philomela’s wasn’t exactly a big school. 59

“John? What are you doing here?” 60

He shrugged. His brown bangs, far longer than the currently popular male hairstyle, fell into his face when he did so and he had to reach out a hand to tuck them back behind his ear. “I’m avoiding the people in the cafeteria,” he said, gesturing with his flask. “They give me shit whenever they see me eat. I’m trying to avoid that. But what’s wrong? Why are you sitting all stiff like that?” 61

Mind your own business, Rainbow wanted to say. Her knowledge of what was inside the flask stayed at the forefront of her mind, but when she opened her mouth to tell John Smith exactly what she thought of his prying questions and weirdo name, she couldn’t say anything. Instead she started to cry, realizing that the words she’d been planning on saying sounded exactly like her mother’s voice.62

John had given her a hug then. His people, Vampire-Americans, were well known for their touchy-feely culture, and some of his body glitter that he’d smeared on his face and neck transferred to her shirt. She sobbed into his shoulder, ignoring how unladylike she was behaving, how unlike a princess, and instead told him everything, about how her mother had just gotten meaner and meaner over time, how her father was too busy being King to notice it, about the posture board and her aching spine and how her grades were so lousy. 63

John had listened through all of it, nodding and making the occasional comment. By the end of her wet, red-eyed schpeel, she’d already decided to become friends with him, no matter what his race was. 64

It was only by the end of the week that John Smith, now nicknamed “Diamond” by her to help him fit in with the rest of the school, had decided to become friends with her. 65

“You’re a bit whiney,” he’d said on their way to sword practice, “but I like you anyways.” She’d punched him on the shoulder and laughed. If the fact that he never called her “Princess” and she never referred to him as a vampire ever occurred to her, she never mentioned it. Some things were better left unsaid. 66

*~*~*67

That had been years ago, though, and after Diamond had gotten a job as a translator for Japanese businessmen, he was always away. Only on his vacations did his manage to make his way back to Pittsburgh from Japan. Rainbow kept reminding herself of this as she speed-walked down the near-empty sidewalk towards the restaurant. 68

Eat n’ Park was already pretty full by the time Rainbow got there. She’d sold her car (that, admittedly, Daddy had bought for her, but still, it’d been in her name) to help pay for her apartment, so she took the bus whenever she had to go anywhere. By the time she’d walked from the bus stop to the restaurant, her slightly warm forehead from earlier had turned disturbingly hot. It felt like an old stovetop two minutes after the heat had been turned on. 69

She stopped at the main entrance of the Eat n’ Park. There were large clear windows in the middle parts of each of the double doors, so she could see into the restaurant. She peered inside, trying to find her friends, but she was not quite willing to go inside away from the frigid outdoors. At least she wasn’t sweating that much in the chilly night air. It felt so good on her face. She could wait just a minute longer, maybe two, before she went in...70

A familiar meow sounded at her feet. 71

She looked down and groaned. “Senator! What are you doing here?” 72

“Keeping an eye on you,” her cat replied. His fur was ruffled all along his back and his tail was constantly twitching. “There’s something awry tonight. I conferred with the most experienced of my kind this evening. They feel it, too.” 73

She slowly sank down onto her knees. The concrete was rough and cold, unpleasant on her bare legs, and the scabbard pushed up at an awkward angle against her side, but it didn’t matter. The last time Senator Mousebane had declared that something was awry, he’d warned both Rainbow and her father. Neither of them had paid the Senator any mind – who listens to a cat? – and Rainbow had rubbed the Senator on his head and called him a pretty kitty. Exactly three hours later, the first American zombie had shown up, rising out of the Allegheny river and biting seven people before an off-duty police officer shot him in the head. That had been six years ago. The night air suddenly seemed colder. 74

“Can you be more specific?” she whispered. Even though the restaurant was full of people, the parking lot was empty. The night suddenly seemed darker. The Eat n’ Park was located next to a small local park, and Rainbow kept noticing the movement of shadows in the scraggily trees that lined the parking lot. 75

“I cannot,” the Senator replied. “It is only the feeling in the night air. The pressure, of something unnatural, something askew.” He looked over at the shadows, his ears back, and Rainbow realized that the edge of the woods was lined with a plethora of impatient-looking cats. “I must go. My people are patrolling the city tonight.” 76

“Be careful,” she said, rubbing his hackled fur in an effort to calm him. It didn’t work. 77

The Senator was looking at her strangely. “What?” she asked.78

“Your hands are shaking.” His pronouncement was blunt and, she realized with a sinking feeling, disappointed. She glanced down at her accused appendages.79

“It’s cold outside,” she said. “People shiver when they are cold.” The wound on her neck ached dully beneath the bandage. She stood up, brushing the flecks of dust and concrete from her knees. 80

Senator Mousebane lingered for a moment more, then ran to the edge of parking lot. 81

“Princess,” he called out, his raspy voice sounding almost painful to her ears. “I hope you have not done something foolish.” With that, he disappeared into the shadows. 82

“I haven’t,” Rainbow muttered, but there was no one around to hear. Carefully, she smoothed out her miniskirt and adjusted the colorful scarf that she’d tied around her neck over the bandage. She’d changed her shirt into something with a bit more cleavage and a bit less bloodstain. Checking herself out in dull reflection of the restaurant’s windows, her pulse rate already increasing as she imagined Diamond’s angular face, she entered the restaurant. 83

*~*~*84

A memory: 85

She had just gotten the responses back from all six colleges that she’d applied to after graduation. The letters had arrived, one after the other during the course of the week. She’d kept them in a pile in her room, hidden from the prying eyes of her mother, though she would have shown them to Daddy if he’d asked. She’d appreciated the car he’d given her, of course – what girl wouldn’t want a new Buick for an 18th birthday present – but it would have been nice if he’d tried to spend a little more time at home. It didn’t matter, though. If he had been paying attention, he would have been suffering the same disappointment she was. 86

For each rejection letter she got from a college, she’d put a lime green frowny-face sticker on the front of the envelope. Without looking at him, she handed Diamond all six envelopes, each decorated with a circular, green sticker. 87

“Okay, so you don’t test well,” Diamond said, throwing himself back onto her overstuffed bed. “College isn’t the only way to be successful in life. There are other things that you can do.” 88

“Yeah?” she asked, gloom shadowing over her like a cloud of stinking air. “What can I do? Stay at home all my life? Play pretty-pretty princess and make sure to never upset the almighty King and Queen of Pittsburgh?” 89

Diamond threw a pillow at her. “Stop being melodramatic,” he ordered. He’d painted his nails purple today, she noticed as she sat down on the bed next to him. Just like his perpetual body glitter, he’d painted a layer of clear golden sparkles over the purple paint, so that way each fingernail shined in the light. Everything about him was so pretty... 90

She only realized that she’d leaned too close to him when Diamond leaned back on her bed and raised his eyebrow at her. “What, do I smell good or something?” 91

She blushed, way too much for the situation. “Sorry,” she managed to stammer. “I...I was...”92

Diamond laughed and grabbed another pillow. “You were probably just smelling my new cologne. My brother got it for me from his travels in Romania. It’s called ‘Toreador.’” He grinned at her, the tiny points on his teeth glinting in the light almost as much as his glitter. “You like it?” 93

Rainbow exaggeratedly sniffed the air. “Sure,” she said dryly. “Who wouldn’t want to smell like a bull killer?” She leaned in again, inhaling deeply. Diamond did smell good – he always had, the cheap cologne (which she had finally noticed) notwithstanding. 94

“I like the spicy undertones of the scent,” she murmured. Her face was inches from his, now, but this time he wasn’t backing away. His lips were so close to hers, only a few inches. She closed her eyes, feeling a bizarre combination of nerves and natural instinct. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the natural electricity of his presence. She just wanted to kiss him. Just one kiss. Just one... 95

Her front door, which had only been opened a crack, swung completely open as Senator Mousebane pushed his way through. He’s only been a senator for a year now, she thought sullenly as she tried to look innocently down at her legs. You’d think he’d learn some manners from dealing with humans all the time. 96

“Your friend Sirena has arrived,” the Senator said with a dry voice as he observed both Rainbow and Diamond sitting on her bed. “Her Majesty sent me upstairs to inform you.” 97

“You don’t always have to do what she says,” Rainbow shot back angrily. “You could ignore her for once.” She couldn’t stop blushing. Her entire face was one giant blush. She glanced over at Diamond and saw he was doing much the same while he picked at his orange-and-pink shoelaces with one hand. 98

“I am a humble public servant, Princess,” Senator Mousebane responded, his tail twitching with annoyance. “Shall I tell your acquaintance to leave?” 99

“No,” she replied, sighing as she stood up. “Sorry. I’m just in a bad mood.” She glanced at the six frowny-face letters again and wished she’d applied to more schools. 100

“Ah,” the Senator said. “Is that the kind of mood you’re in?” 101

He left, and even though he didn’t possess the facial muscles to show it, Rainbow could have sworn that the cat was smirking. 102

*~*~*103

“Sirena! What the heck?” Rainbow greeted as she finally found their table at the furthest end of the Eat n’ Park. “I had to walk past three tables full of clowns to find you.” She pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, smiling in spite of the low attendance. Normally, her group of friends was a little larger, but both Button and Regina Lavinia Octavia Atia were away for their M.B.A.s and Hercules had called Rainbow’s cell phone on her way there to tell her that he had the flu, so he wouldn’t be able to make it. It was just Sirena and her latest girlfriend Butterfly, along with a single chair occupied by Diamond. 104

Even though her neck ached even worse than earlier and her hands were definitely shaking now, the entire trip had been worth it just so she could sit next to Diamond. He’d smiled at her when she’d finally made it past the harlequins and white-faced hobos with their painted frowns and daisy boutonnieres. Quickly, she’d taken the seat next to him, which had been delightfully free of his (hopefully) ex-girlfriend Lucretia. 105

“Hey, ‘Bow!” Sirena greeted. “Don’t know about the clowns – they’re some trippy shit, freak me the hell out – but I’m glad you came. This place was dead without you.” Her tiny black braids rustled, the golden beads on the ends clinking together. 106

“Gee, thanks,” Butterfly said, rolling her large green eyes so far back into her head that all Rainbow saw were the whites. 107

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Sirena said, laughing. “I just meant that I haven’t seen ‘Bow since Friday. I’m practically going through princess withdrawal.” 108

“Oh, hah hah,” Rainbow said. She hated the title, “Princess.” It occurred to her, with a shock, that she was almost hoping that her father would lose the upcoming election so that she could go back to just being Rainbow. 109

“I’m serious,” Sirena teased. “Your regal bearing, your exquisite manners...” 110

Rainbow belched loudly on cue and Butterfly twittered, a light and glassy sound. 111

“Veritably, Princess, you honor us with your esteemed presence.” Sirena finished her announcement with a fancy bow, waving her hands in front of her like one of the courtiers of old. 112

“You’re such a dork, Sirena,” Diamond said, grinning. 113

“But at least she’s my dork,” Butterfly replied, leaning over to kiss her girlfriend on her painted lips. 114

Diamond glanced over at Rainbow. “Does she realize that ‘dork’ means ‘whale penis?’” he asked. 115

Rainbow giggled. “If she does, that tells me a whole lot more about their relationship than I wanted to know.” 116

“Hey!” Sirena broke away from Butterfly, making a face at her two friends. “I heard that, you know. What terrible, unprincesslike behavior,” she tutted, her eyes glinting in amusement even as Butterfly blushed. Rainbow had only just met Butterfly two weeks ago – she kind of hoped that she hadn’t offended her. 117

“I’m going to go out for a cigarette,” Butterfly said. “Anyone want to come with me?” 118

“I will,” Sirena said. “Let’s let these two lovebirds reacquaint.”119

Rainbow squirmed in her seat as she saw Diamond incredulously mouth, “lovebirds” from the corner of her eye. 120

As both turned to leave, Senator Mousebane’s warning came back to her and she started to say something, but stopped herself before could attract Sirena’s attention away from digging through her purse for cigarettes. They’ll be fine, she reasoned. The Senator’s been wrong before and, even if I’m wrong, it’s not like the most likely place of attack is outside of an Eat n’ Park. 121

It was the first alone-time she’d had with Diamond since that day in her room. During the time between then, he’d either met her with a group of friends, or else he’d been dating Lucretia Coughblood, great niece of the famous Professor Coughblood, a dark-haired girl who was too skinny and never spoke more than three words at each social gathering. Rainbow had done her best to be nice to her, but every time she’d seen her kiss Diamond on the mouth, inside she’d felt like she was on fire. 122

Rainbow opened her mouth to ask about her, but Diamond spoke first. “I think the circus is in town.”123

Rainbow blinked. “What?”124

“All the clowns? I think there’s a big circus performance in town. When I drove here, I went past a large circus tent.” A smear of glitter had accidentally been wiped across part of his lower lip. Rainbow tried not to stare at it like a freak. Instead, she forced herself to examine the assorted mimes, red-nosed clowns, and pointy-hatted harlequins that sat at the table across from theirs. They were eating plates of pierogies and seemingly enjoying themselves – or, at least she assumed they were, based on the occasional horn honks and laughter that she overheard – but each clown had a plain katana strapped to their belts that they hadn’t taken off and put in the sword holder that was built into the edge of each table. Rainbow realized that she, too, hadn’t removed her scabbard from her belt. Her broadsword hung from her side, within easy reach in case something happened. 125

The Senator’s warning, she thought. Maybe it’s something in the air that human beings can sense, too, even if we don’t realize it. Maybe... She paused her thought midway. Maybe it was time to stop messing around and waiting and waiting for Diamond to make the first move. The bite on her neck wasn’t getting any better – she could feel the sheen of sweat on her forehead and her ears were starting to hurt from all the loud noises. If something bad happened tonight, If the Senator was right, then she didn’t have any time to waste. 126

“Did you break up with Lucretia?” Rainbow demanded. 127

Whatever response Diamond had been expecting, it wasn’t that. His eyes widened a little. “What?” 128

“Did you break up with Lucretia?” she asked again.129

Diamond paused, then said, “Yes,” so softly that even she, with her oversensitive hearing, had trouble hearing him. 130

“Then why don’t you date me?” she demanded. Jeez, she thought, I sound like a petulant brat. But she couldn’t stop now. If she backed away now, she’d feel like even more of an idiot than she already felt like. 131

Diamond stared at her, his skin pale, the glitter making him look almost unhealthy in the florescent glow of the restaurant lights. 132

“Rainbow...” he started. He paused, then he said, “Princess...”133

Her heart sank. “Nevermind,” she said. “Forget I said anything.” 134

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, getting up from his seat, his voice raising so much that the merrymaking clowns glanced over at him. “There’s a reason why we broke up, a big reason. Lucretia couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t...” 135

“What is it, then?” she asked, her face burning, her heart on fire, her neck exporting wave upon wave of pain. 136

“I...” he said, but he was interrupted by a scream, long and terrible and too, too familiar. It was Sirena’s, from outside, but loud enough to be heard way too clearly from the very back of the restaurant. 137

The hilt of her sword was in her hand, tight within her grip, and she was racing through the crowd of confused clowns and panicking patrons towards the double doors at the front of the restaurant. She could see Sirena’s struggling body as something large, something horribly oversized and hairy and unforgiving stood over her, pinning her to the concrete with one hoofed appendage. 138

There was a yowl as a cat – the Senator, maybe, or one of his companions – threw itself upon the beast and scratched at its eyeless sockets. 139

She rushed through the door, her sword already drawn, clasped tightly with both hands as she screamed her friend’s name, Butterfly nowhere to be found and a combination of unearthly yowls and cries perfuming the air with their agony. 140

She didn’t even look to see if Diamond was behind her. She didn’t care. He could go join her mother for all she cared. He could go to hell. 141

The burning of embarrassment and rejection and humiliation burning through her chest, she threw herself against the beast, shrieking invectives as she swung the blade down against the creature’s neck. The blade kissed against the flesh with a torrent of blood and she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this was the closest she would get to ever being loved.142

Her neck wound burned with anticipation, wedded with the chills of infection.143