It's OK.

The rain grew heavy as it smacked harshly on my window. My eyes glistened as I was absorbed by the sweet melody. Oily, brown hair hugged onto my face. My complexion pale as a ghost. A tear ran down my face, trailing down my chapped lip, and dropping softly from my chin. A alcoholic bottle rested firmly into my stone grip. My breath tainted by its drastic stench.1

My eyes dragged to the source of a sudden screeching sound. The front door opened baring a thirty-year old man. His face dropped as his green eyes scanned his surroundings. A silent sigh slipped out of his lips. He dropped his suitcase next to the door and started towards me. He took the alcohol into his hands, slowly slipping it out of mine. "Why do you do this to yourself, Tina?" 2

My brown eyes rolled from his, "Why does it matter?" My face lie flat as he began to throw the bottle away. I turned to him, admiring his nicely formed body, "Shake that tosh, baby!" He turned to me, raising a brow.3

Another sigh spilled from his lips. His head slightly shook, as he questioned, "Have you got something to eat?" He pushed his black hair out of his eyes.4

I smirked, "Of course!" She rolled her eyes turning herself away from him. What kind of person do you take me as?!" My voice grew into a small growl as I flipped the television on. I rapidly changed channels till I bumped into a movie that had boys in their swimsuits. Shure, they weren't the main characters, but they were good to look at. "This movie looks nice."5

My husband placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. His eyebrow arched, "What did you eat?" his voice skittish yet firm. His eyes would turn to the T.V. a bit, but then turn to me still waiting for the answer. 6

I scratched my head, trying to recall the day, "Let's see? First, I ate a bag of chips......Next, a piece of toast, and then four rounds of beer." I felt a look of concern was placed upon me. His eyes locked onto me, his eyes droopy. I peaked up to him, "Derek, if you got something to say then say it!" then gazed back to the television.7

Derek complained, "But that isn't a decent meal. Let me make you something." His lips formed a gentle smile. He tried to be there for me. Specially, in this time of need.8

I yawned, "No, I'm fine. Worry about yourself." I was once again engulfed into the movie. I just scanned the cute men. I don't even now what the story was about.9

Derek bit his lips, then started, "I already ate." He waited for a replay, but received nothing. He just stared at my motionless body. His eyes watered as his heart ached for me to feel better. His stomach turned as my pain showed into my dull eyes. His voice was hushed but was able to be heared, "Fine. I'm going to bed. I love you." 10

I flapped my hand in the air, "Yeah-yeah! Good night." My eyes never left the television. If I was to look at Derek now, I would of seen tears running down his face. And, if the television wasn't so loud, I would of heard a faint cry escape his mouth as he headed to our room. My hearing focused, waiting to hear the door of our room. Once the door closed, I tackled the phone. I quick dialed and waited for a sound.11

"Hello?" a dull man voice cracked through the wires. His gurglely voice sound like he just woke up. 12

I smiled, recognizing the voice. "Hello, Theo." my voice seductive, giving him mental notes of my intention. My fingers twirled the cords, "Know what? My husband is going to bed. I'll be there in five." I hung the phone, listening for any movement of my husband. I tip-toed out, snagging a leather coat. 13

I entered further into town. Where the apartments were cheep and the sidewalks were demolished. The aroma that flew in the air stung at each nose hair. I diverted my attention away from the lack of color and the smell of downtown, and searched every apartment. My eyes rested on this faint, blue one. The paint peeling off revealing a gray color.14

I knocked lightly on the door, trying not to disturb anybody else. The door opened, and a blond, haired being wrapped me into his arms and melted me into his kiss. I enclosed myself fully into his muscular arms. He separated us. His blue eyes peered into mine, "How are ya doing?"15

I chuckled. A alluring smile crossed over my face, "I'm doing fine now." I brought down to another kiss. Falling limp as he dragged me into his house. He threw me onto his couch, crawling over me, taking advantage of me. I was happy being with Theo. He was my hope. 16

*********In the past*****************17

"Oh, Der-ek!" I sang into the room, jumping up and down cheerfully. My face bright, "What do you think of children?" Derek turned from the stove, a smirk held onto his face, with a slight tilt of the eyebrow.18

His voice turned to a slight chuckle, "Why do you ask?"19

I puckered my lips. A baby sound slipping from the tiny hole, "Please, just answer."20

He laughed. His face tight with a smile, "I just adore children." Voice soft with bright eyes. He walked up to me, pulled me into a hug, and whispered ever so softly, "Why do you ask?"21

My eyes tightened as my face lit up, "I'm pregnant!" His face dropped instantly. I spotted a sparkle in his eye. My eyes widened. Why wasn't he happy? "What's wrong?" I held in the crack in my voice. Feeling ashamed and hoping he wanted the child.22

Derek broke a smile onto his lips, "It's nothing." He held me tighter, giggling like a girl, "I'm really happy! We're gonna have a baby!" He started to sing. We brought into a tight kiss. 23

*******Still in the past*******************24

Doctors swarmed the room. Some keeping Derek out of the room, others dealing with me. One kept whispering to me to push. I heaved with all my might, my face turning red from pressure and sheer pain. I gagged, breathy heavy. This took a few hours.25

Blood was everywhere. Doctors quickly attended to me keeping me into this world. One was still holding his position for delivering the baby. Another heave and the baby came out. The doctor had a happy look till he took the baby. He turned to another doctor, pulling him away. I couldn't understand what they were saying. All I knew is I was tired and I needed sleep.26

The next day, the doctors gave us the news. He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, but you can't have your baby."27

Derek dropped his face, his voice threatening, "Wait?! Why!"28

The doctor turned to me with pity. My eyes watered for I had a feeling the news was terrible. The doctor sighed, "I'm sorry. The baby was dead before it came out of the womb. I'm sorry."29

My mind went blank as my chest ached from the rapid heart pounding. My lips quivered as I choked out, "No....No!" My voice rose to anger. My sight went blurry as hot tears streamed down my face. My ribs cracked as I heaved over, covering my face from sight. 30

Derek took me into his warm arms, rocking me back and fourth. "It's OK. It's OK." His soft voice faded in my ears as he repeated his words over and over. Not leaving my side. 31

*********The present******************** 32

The sun rose as the Earth started to awake. My eyes slowly opened. I smiled as I saw Theo laying beside me. My hand rested nicely on his hot, sweaty, bare, chest. I ran my fingers through his hair, whispering tenderly, "Good morning. I have to leave." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I took at my shirt, which lie under the couch, and pulled it over my bare chest. After I was fully clothed, I headed to my house.33

I opened the door, keeping quiet. The room was in darkness. So, Derek must still be asleep. I placed my coat on a hook and began to walked to our bedroom. Before I left the room, the light flickered on, blinding me. I hissed trying to recover from the sudden out burst. "Where were you?" Derek's voice echoed through the room. A shiver ran through my spine as I sensed the hint of raged mix with his tone.  34

I gazed at him, smiling tenderly, "Morning." He wrapped his arms over his chest. His eyes tightened. I stuttered, "I-I was just at a friend's house."35

A snarl hissed at me, "Cut the bull!" His face twisted. He clenched his fist, as he continued, "I know where you were! I knew all this time!" He inhaled, relaxing his tense body. "So, did you enjoy messing with another man?" he smiled casually.36

My eyes widened. It was hard to get the words out, "Wha-what do you mean? I wouldn't do that." He knows!37

Derek rolled his eyes, "Stop lieing to me! I know you were cheating on me. That's how you got the baby!" Shaking my head, not believing what he was saying. A dark smile tugged on his lips, "Tina, I thought you knew I can't give children." He pulled his hands away from his chest and snatched at my hand, "I'm only able to shoot duds! I found out when I was eight-teen! That was way before you called pregnant with my 'child'"38

Biting at my lip harshly, tasting my blood run down my throat. "If you knew, why didn't you say anything?!" I stared him down, keeping my eyes locked on him.39

He threw my hand down to my side. His eyes glistened as his lips quivered, "Because I wanted you to tell me." His voice cracked as tears streamed down his face. "A lot of lovers cheat on each other. I wanted it to be different for us. OK, I deal with the fact you are cheating on me. I just wanted you to tell me." His shirt turned soggy from the white liquid, "I'm not OK with the fact you are willing to cheat on me! I ju-just wanted you to tell me that you did it and you were sorry. That's all!" His voice became harder and harder to make out. His throat started to dry as tears came out even more. His voice trailed off, "I wanted to know you loved me." He eyed down at his right pocket, "I guess you don't." He thrust his hand in it, pulled out a gun, and instantly pulled the trigger to his head. 40

Blood flew in the air. I stared motionless. I called out his name as I cradled him into my arms. He had the face of a pained lover. And I was no help. My body started to shake rapidly. I rocked him back and fourth, letting his crimson liquid taint my body. My words hushed, "It's OK. It's OK." I whispered to his ear, "I do love you."