The Part, part 3

The Part1

Day 2, October 162

First scene with the full cast today. It took longer to get set up, since all five of us had to get in costume and have our makeup done, even though it wasn’t a scene with a lot of blood or wounds. Whenever we start to film those scenes I guess we’ll have to come even earlier. There are only two makeup artists, Jack and Wendy, so it takes them a little while to get everyone ready for camera. 3

Today went better than yesterday; of course, it wasn’t violent scenes that were being filmed. It just seemed better to me. Maybe because Jay and the other girls were there too, or maybe because Sloane realized he had really hurt me, the way he grabbed me, and so was holding back a little. Whichever it was, I hope it will be better now. Maybe I was just overreacting, nervous or something.4

But then again, I still have the bruises. Wendy had to cover the one at my wrist with makeup. She didn’t ask me how I got it, which is sort of unsettling if you think about it. Is she that used to hiding women’s marks? Or did she just not feel right to ask me what had happened? 5

Why the hell am I asking myself that question? What does it matter?6

Still not really sure what I think about my cast members. After the scene filmed with Sloane yesterday I’m still a little leery of him. Jay and Tali seem friendly still, both talking cheerily and often, but they seem kind of flaky- not to mention flirty. Tali doesn’t seem to discriminate between genders either, if the way she seems to find reason to pick on invisible lint and hairs off me and to grab and squeeze my or Cara’s arm is any indication. Or am I being catty?7

Jay, man, the guy has the most awful sense of humor, I mean BAD. He actually told Tali she was an ASSett to the film, putting extra emphasis on the ass part as he quite obviously checked out hers. It’s kind of funny for a while, but then it just starts to get irritating. Clearly not to Tali though. She just giggles and beams at him and puts her hand on his chest like he’s just too much. Kinda wish they’d just get together already and go paw at each other giggling in the corner.8

On second thought, maybe not. That would be another one of those things that was funny at first but then loses its initial humor fast. You know, like, in five minutes.9

Sorry…I know I must sound really bitchy. I guess I’m just tired. The days seem so long and slow for some reason…but I guess it’s pretty long hours. Already it seems like a long time since I got the part of Meredith, like the days are blurring into each other.10

Really though, they do seem nice. If you spend hours and hours with people, I guess they’re bound to rub you wrong. I just need to have a better attitude. Sounds weird to say that since I was all gung-ho at the start of it, but reality hits, you know? Acting in a film just doesn’t seem to be the same sort of feeling as acting in a play- just have to get used to it. And it’s only been two days of filming. The others seem happy. Well, with Sloane and Renfield it’s hard to tell sometimes, but they seem satisfied. 11

Well…all but Cara anyway. I don’t think I’ve seen the girl smile since I met her. And she seems to look particularly irritated whenever Jay or Tali get in their touchy-feely mode with each other or someone else. Maybe she’s already annoyed beyond being able to hide it by them, I don’t know. She doesn’t seem very happy though.12

Day 4, October 1913

Heh, it appears that my wish is my command, sometimes anyway, because it’s only the fourth day on set and I know now that Jay and Tali are together- though which sort of “together” this is, who knows for sure. I walked into the women’s bathroom in the studio- it was another inside scene shooting today- and there they were, not even bothering to hide in a stall. Jay had Tali against the wall, one hand up her shirt, practically mauling her as his lips attacked her neck. It looked like he was using his teeth too. Of course Tali looked like she was in no way hating this judging from the rolled back eye and loud moans as she dug her hand into Jay’s shoulders.14

My first thought, swear to God, after the initial shocked start, was that Jack and Wendy wouldn’t have to make Tali over for her make-out scenes with Jay in the movie. The next was that they’d seriously HAVE to get a room, preferably one that I wasn’t using to pee in. Oh, and also that Jay’s kissing technique, from a bystander’s perspective, was really kind of scary-looking to watch, which could be a plus for this particular movie. Yeah, so I’m practical, whatever goes, you know?15

They must have heard me come in, but they didn’t respond. I thought about saying something, but what would the point of that be? It would just be awkward and weird, and I wasn’t in the mood for that. So I just backed out and found a single stall bathroom instead, a unisex one. Ah, the irony. Why the hell hadn’t Jay and Tali gone into that one for their little “practice session?”16

Gotta say, those guys move fast. I wonder what Renfield would think? Knowing him, he might like it, say it will give their performances a more realistic feel. Since I had the same thought, can’t argue there.17

Day 4 still, October 1918

Kinda weird…but Renfiled cut filming short today and in front of everyone, came up to me and Sloane and told us that our scenes “lacked tension” and that we needed a “dramatic fearful undercurrent.” Which, fine, whatever, would be okay, so we work on it, do a better job bringing it to our parts, right? But instead of giving specific advice on our performances, Renfield told us to start spending more time together. That’s right…me and Sloane. He asked us to start hanging out together- not filming, not rehearsing, just “getting to know each other.”19

By now I know the man is kind of unusual in his methods…but this one was totally beyond me. Why would hanging out with Sloane impact how I play Meredith?20

When I asked him, Renfield said that excellent performances came about when the actors know each other well, and therefore know what there is to fear. They then can bring that fear our more effectively than if they do not know.21

So he wants us to hang out. I know exactly how Rick would feel about that…not to mention that Sloane Jason still kinda makes me uncomfortable. But what else could I say but yes?22

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Day 5, October 2024

The whole “hanging out with Sloane” thing- totally not my scene. First off, it’s awkward because we both knew we were pretty much instructed to do it and it wasn’t either of us’s idea. Second, it’s hard to decide whether to hang out. I don’t want someone I know to see me with him and think he’s my guy or something. So we mostly stay near or in the studio, which I don’t like either. After spending so much time there I like to get out of it, it starts to feel confining. Plus I’m always seeing Jay and Tali groping each other around every corner, whether they’re actually there at the time or not.25

I’m still not sure what Renfield thinks hanging out with Sloane will really accomplish. It’s like pulling teeth to get the guy to carry a conversation. He’s got the mysterious artist bit down pat, that’s for sure. All this “hanging out” and I still barely know anything about him. Somehow it always turns into me running on about myself in an attempt to spark conversation. The guy probably thinks I’m boring as hell, but whatever. None of this was MY idea.26

Sooo Renfield’s bright idea, FAIL. Not only do I not know Sloane any better today than yesterday- though I’ll give him that Sloane knows me a whole hell of a lot better- but I also don’t have any added reason to fear him to bring out through my acting. If anything he seems less threatening to me now than before, since he’s either so dull, so uninterested in me, or so spacy that he can’t bother to try to hold a conversation. I was worried for a while, after he bruised me up during filming, that it would happen again…or that he maybe meant to do it. But I doubt that now. He’s just clueless, in his own little world. He probably didn’t notice he hurt me. And if it happens again, I’ll just go off script and rough him back until he gets the message. Or else I’ll screw up the shot so that Renfield HAS to stop filming, never mind how pissed he gets. I have a right to keep a stupid fictional script from becoming reality TV, you know?27

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Okay…I always felt that Cara Curtis acted a little weird around us…but I had no idea why until today. Well, I still don’t really know why actually, but what she did today shed a little more light on what’s going on with her. I guess it does anyway. 29

Today is our sixth day of filming; tomorrow we’re going to start filming more scenes in the woods. I had just finished a scene with Sloane, and we were starting a short break. I wasn’t going to spend that time hanging around him, regardless of Renfield’s wishes. A day of that had been enough, thanks. So I headed down the hall, and a minute later Cara came up beside me, grabbing my arm.30

“I want to talk to you,” she said flatly, her tone and expression conveying that she was dead serious. Of course, right away I thought this was weird since Cara has only spoken to me when necessary since I met her. What could she be wanting so badly to say to me in particular?31

It must be about the movie, I figured, so I smiled and shrugged.32

“Sure….right here, or do you want to go to another room or something?”33

“Not here…outside,” she said crisply, her eyes sliding to look past us down the hall, and still gripping my arm stiffly, but firmly, she practically propelled me toward the studio’s back door. She seemed to be glancing around often as she moved me, like she was wanting to keep us from being seen…which I kind of understood once she spoke to me.34

We were barely out the door and beginning to walk away from the building before Cara turned to me abruptly, still gripping my arm. Her pale blue eyes were narrowed, darker than usual as she stared directly into my eyes.35

“You should never have taken the part, Kendall,” she said quietly but intently, no malice in her tone, but rather complete seriousness. “If I were you, I would leave and never come back. Right now.”36

At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I mean, how many people seriously say shit like that to people and mean it? It sounded like a melodramatic line straight from the movie. In fact, my first thought was that maybe Cara was joking around, trying to shake me up or get a rise out of me.37

But even after the short amount of time I’d know her Cara definitely hadn’t seemed the type to screw around like that, and her expression didn’t waver at all. I knew she wasn’t kidding.38

“What?” I asked, giving her an incredulous, questioning smile, keeping my tone light. “Not getting the warning, Cara. What’s up?”39

“You heard me,” she replied tersely, and her eyes slid past me again, looking around to see if anyone was watching us, I guess. “I’ve tried now, I’ve done what I could. If you won’t listen to me, then it’s your own fault.”40

With that she turned, beginning to stride back toward the studio. I stared after her, calling out in protest. 41

“Cara, wait! What the…Cara!”42

She didn’t respond to me, didn’t even turn as she re-entered the studio. I stood for a few more moments, stunned, my mind running through possible explanations for her behavior.43

Why the hell would she act like that? She barely even knew me…and it wasn’t like I haven’t tried to be friendly with her. WAS she joking- did she have a really weird, un-funny sense of humor? Or was she serious? Did she know something…did she really…44

No, that was stupid. The most logical explanation was that Cara was jealous, for whatever reason. Maybe she wanted the part of Meredith or something, and is pissed off she only got the part of lesbian psycho Cassie. Maybe she hoped that if she freaked me out into quitting, she would get my part…and maybe that was why she looked so grim all the time, because she was so bitter over her role.45

It made sense. Jeez…obviously Cara didn’t know me at all if she thought some lame, vague threat like that would scare me. Honestly…like I would just hand over the part when I’d already worked so hard and put so much effort into earning and keeping it.46

But even as I scoffed inwardly a part of me was uneasy. Not so much that she knew something horrible that would make me want to quit…but what was Cara herself capable of doing if she was really so jealous as to say stuff like that? 47