I owe you one

The hazy blur of smoke clouded my vision; the sweet nectar-like smell of sherry stung my sinus’s. The array of faces around me, all wrapped up in their cozy lives.1

“The gentle blanket of denial, oblivious to what reality has come to be. I’ll never turn into one of those, hair twiddling Aryans” 2

“I swear sometimes Jazz you read my mind before I even know what I’m about to say”3

It was always this, Jazz knowing what I’d say. Every Friday night we’d appear here.4

Within these disgusting walls that they call the George. This place was ridden with a stench of wasted youth. 5

As I focus on the worn wall in front of me, I never noticed it before. But I could see the eyes of a beholder behind the grime. 6

……Wait a mo…7

…..That’s not a beholder-8

The beast on cue, stepped out of the grayish wall with hooves. Towering above me with burnt skin and colossal darkened wings, this was a demon. It snorted and unleashed a wave of swarming locusts that began to devour the flesh, of the pathetic youth around me. The savage bugs left their faces raw of flesh, even the skulls scrapped of muscle tissue. Blood smeared the walls, painting a rich life to the room. This chaotic demon tore the throats of every opponent, with one swift slice of his razor like claws. Sulpher rained like burning metal, shrapnel tearing its way through flesh and crushing the bones of…9

“Dude, you’re doing it again”10

Jazz brought me back to my senses with a nudge.11

“Swansong is late again jazz”12

“Well of course she is, she’s never on time”13

Yes come to think of it, Swansong was always late14

“She’s probably slitting her wrists right now…15

Why is it I never notice things like that?16

“Laid in her bath tub, swimming in her selfishness….17

It’s not something I should care about18

“Burning her retina’s out with naked magnesium flames….19

So what if Swansong is always late20

“Bleaching her gapping wounds and tasting her death….21

After today I’ll never see her again22

“Swallowing glass and 100 pain killers….23

And there was such a satisfaction to that thought24

“Before hanging herself with TV wires she’ll be laughing at us”25

“Who’s hanging themselves and laughing at you?”26

Swansong had just sat down next to jazz, who, had just ended her rant.27

Swansong, you liar, you whore, you pathetic excuse of a human being 28

“So how are you? Oh I just got back from Bens. He has a really nice apartment…29

Your scum-like baggage of meat you call a body30

“He has leather sofas and surround sound as well…31

It’s not even clean enough to burn in an acid tank32

“I’m so glad I met such a guy, he really is-33

“Nice and rich?”34

Jazz cut into Swansongs words, as fast as the demon had sliced before.35

“You know Jazz; you don’t have to be jealous just because he didn’t choose you”36

“I wouldn’t stir up a fuss Swansong; Jazz doesn’t deserve your shit right now”37

No one deserves to listen to her bitching at any point38

“So we have like, an English test tomorrow don’t we Hol?”39

“Don’t call me Hol, and yes we do”40

I shared a secret smirk with Jazz41

The night went on. But no matter how drunk Swansong got, or how dark the skies became, or just how much cigarettes we smoked.42

The juicy feeling that me and Jazz were the only ones who knew the pain, in which these pests would fall still remained. 43

“So what do you think of Lea Hollingsworth?”44

Jazz’s groan sounded distant above the sounds of the crunching, autumn leaves under our feet. 45

“Don’t really know him, but I know he plays basketball for the county”46

Jazz had stopped just outside of a small house. I could see a flickering light on, upstairs behind a blue curtain. 47

I could see the playful grin on Jazz’s face, expressing her desire for this to be our first stop.48

“I get to pick the next one jazz” I murmured49

The front door was locked. No shock there.50

Windows closed, it is a cold night.51

Backdoor...ah!52

What kind of moron leaves their backdoor key underneath their mat anymore?53

Ludicrous people.54

Jazz signaled something to me, I couldn’t quite make it out in the stinge of light.55

But at once I understood what she meant, because she began to climb the side of the conservatory. She wanted me to do the dirty work.56

Damn my sense of morals!57

I clicked the lock on the door, and slid inside. 58

Poking my head from round a corner, I noticed two heads hovering above a sofa.59

Think straight60

Think straight61

Think straight62

I crept up behind the two elderly people, sat absorbed in their gentle blanket of denial.63

Jazz’s words were coming out of my mouth. I hate myself for it.64

I gripped my blade and before I could think about it, I had killed two innocent people65

OH FUCK IT! Fuck the law, fuck your morals, fuck your sense of decency; discard your conscience and stop being WEAK66

My mind was screaming to me.67

“Your right, fuck my sense of decency”68

Gripping my tools, I ascended the stairs.69

I saw a mirror on my way up.70

It showed a set of grayish eyes, dull black hair and an insane smile.71

Blood was splattered on her lips, making her look paler than ever.72

A thin insect like hand ran its fingers through her hair, a smirk appeared.73

“Just like my father”74

“Jazz what in Gods name are you doing?!”75

Leas voice rung in my ears. His tears covered his cheeks; his sweaty brow was tensing in pain.76

Jazz was working her magic with those needles and copper wire.77

“That’s just teasing him jazz”78

I dropped my tool bag and sat in the nearest chair.79

“Now Lea, I’m going to tell you something”80

His eyes shot toward me and stared at me like a wounded animal.81

“All of my life things have messed up for me, people left me, people violated me, friends cheated me, my parents abandoned me, my own family treated me like I was an outcast”82

Jazz jerked a blunt blade at Lea’s torso. If she hadn’t of broken his jaw and tied it with copper wire, he would be drawing attention with screams…but woops.83

No mum or dad to save this doomed Lea.84

“Your living an ordinary life and you have to make me feel bad!”85

Lea stared at me with a face I’d seen before.86

“Don’t look at me as if I’m the one who’s done wrong”87

Jazz was carving his chest with an artistic hand. She drew DOMINUS in his chest. 88

“Shall I use the art scissors on him Hol?”89

“Make him bleed, bleed away his crimes”90

Jazz retrieved a pair of stem cutters scissors from her pocket.91

Trapping and restraining Lea’s arm was the hard part.92

The easiest and most enjoyable part was when jazz took those scissors and sliced his fingers off, slowly.93

“These are the last words, which your diseased mind will ever think of”94

Lea yelped in despair.95

“You will die soon, and then your guilt ridden soul will depart from this disgusting world. If there is a heaven or a hell, send me a post card and let me know”96

I emptied a shell into his head.97

The shot echoed, bouncing off the walls and surrounded me.98

Two dark figures, two tortured souls, two unstable beings, both outside that night.99

Carrying blades, guns and needles.100

This was the whole marathon.101

The catch.102

The sport.103

The mother load.104

De Aston, Parent and teacher meeting.105

I never took the time to think, how many people would die.106

But we both knew, as soon as we had departed this worthless place, our friends would get this message. The message we leave behind…107

“Snap out of it!”108

Jazz fiercely punched me.109

“You cannot screw this up by going into one of those catatonic moments,110

We have agreed we are going to do this!”111

“Jazz, we aren’t going to be stealing the show like you think we are”112

“Yes we will! A small English town and a massacre! We will be famous!”113

“Oh come on, its columbine allover again, just not in the states!”114

“No it’s not; we’re doing so much more!”115

“So we disposed of a few grudges on the way, it doesn’t make us super heroes or anything”116

“I’m not doing this for the fame Hol; I want revenge on those sick fucks!”117

The rage that was filling jazz’s eyes, reminded me of my own.118

She wanted to do this because of what we are supposed to believe in.119

“I’m only doing this because you asked jazz…you’re the best friend I’ve had. So I owe you one”120

“You’re serious?”121

“No…can we just do this thing already?”122

I lied. 123

I didn’t need to wait for an answer. 124

Looking into her eyes, I wondered where she got her blue eyes, 125

her parents were both dark eyed. Jazz, skinny little Jazz with her blue eyes and always bright face. She had no idea what she was about to do.126

We burst in.127

Guns blazing led into everyone that was breathing.128

Our purpose seemed so clear in the blood we were spilling.129

We were meant to kill; we were meant to die, meant to breathe and meant to destroy.130

Its human nature, isn’t it?131

So why did we kill 30 people?132

Not the media133

Not the books we read134

Not the stories we hear135

Not the current acts of terrorism136

No. We did this because they deserved it, simply that.137

I was ready to die and so was Jazz.138

We took everyone who made us this, with us.139

Random to you?140

But how would you react if your best friend asked you, “could you kill someone”141

How would you feel if they asked you to die for a cause you don’t believe in?142

These thoughts flew through my head, making me dizzy.143

I cock the gun and flip the safety. The sight of bodies around me, gloriously smothered in their own sins makes me smile. Jazz is laid down beside me, her delicate brain covering the floor behind us. 144

“We did it…we proved ourselves to the world Jazz”145

“We’ll make national news”146

“We proved ourselves”147

The fact she was dead did not dampen my mood. She wanted this, and I helped her do it.148

Everything seemed to animate, my mind fooled my eyes with the horror within my soul. 149

No, no.150

Those bodies are DEFFINATLY NOT standing up, I hear nothing, and I see nothing.151

How do I even know this is real, this can’t be happening. 152

I couldn’t kill.153

I couldn’t wield a blade and cut.154

Or could I?155

If this is a dream, I’ll wake up, if it isn’t, fuck it. I had nothing better to do with my life anyways. 156

I hear sirens.157

I know it’s time to complete our deeds. It has to end with me. 158

“So thanks to you world, blood has been shed. I have done what you taught me to do”159

As I lift the cannon of a gun to my mouth, I taste blood on the barrel. 160

And the last remaining thought in my head is:161

What kind of headlines will there be tomorrow?162