Coward Ryan - Chapter 5

Ryan stood alone in the cavern and looked about him in bewilderment. “What am I supposed to do now?” he said to the empty air. He went to the opening and peered out but there was nothing to be seen in the large expanse of sky. Strago and Narie had vanished. Looking down the other way, his knees went all wobbly with vertigo and he had to stumble back away from the opening before he fell.1

“Strago said to go back to the ante-chamber,” Ryan said out loud. He felt better hearing his own voice in the stillness. “I suppose that’s the place we just came from.” He looked back down the tunnel. All he could see was the dim, reddish glow from the veins in the rock walls. It seemed infinitely scarier without Strago there.2

“Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to get back there. I can do it. I’m sure I can. It was only one stretch of tunnel...” he finished uncertainly. He looked around the cavern and his eye fell on his school bag which had been cast to one side. It distracted the fear that had started welling up in the pit of his stomach wonderfully. “But first,” he said, going over to it with some relief, “I’ll have something to eat. Not because I’m stalling,” he added a little guiltily. “No, of course not.” 3

He pulled out the lunch he’d made that morning – rather badly put together sandwiches which were all squashed and soggy now – and suddenly his stomach grumbled loudly in the stillness. “There, you see,” he said, carefully not thinking as he ate about how he could have taken his bag and lunch down the tunnel and eaten where Strago had told him to go instead.4

Swallowing the last bite of his sandwich, he reached into his bag and pulled out a packet of chips. When that was gone, out came a drink bottle, and when that was empty, a muesli bar, and then an apple, and then some chocolate. His hand went in his bag one last time to find there was no lunch left to stall him any longer, and he looked down the tunnel with some dread.5

His stomach made a different noise then. Ryan groaned, and clutched his belly. “Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten so much. Well, as mum always said, ‘Don’t do any exercise right after eating!’” If walking down the tunnel could be called exercise, said his conscience in the back of his mind, but he guiltily paid it no heed. 6

He propped up his bag against a rock and pulled out his jumper for a pillow. As he got himself comfortable, a monstrous yawn overtook him. He was exhausted. All that rushing around and being scared had really taken it out of him! “I guess I’ll just rest here for a moment before I go on,” he said to himself, but before he knew it, he was asleep.7

~~~8

To be continued...9

Start: Chapter 110

Previous: Chapter 411

Next: Chapter 6

Author notes

Sorry, this chapter is (actually) really short. Wasn't sure whether to tack it onto the end of the previous chapter or not. It definitely doesn't go at the start of the next chapter.

I guess not all chapters can end in a cliff hanger.

Next chapter in 2 weeks.

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

  • graybeard
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Hey Myryca,
    I agree with the others, this could be added to the last chapter, no problem. The conversation with himself worked very well conveying his fear as the reason for his procrastination. I'm curious to see what consequences his disobeying Strago will have. Looking forward to your next installment
    Steve

  • ostinatoseaker
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very short indeed. Leaving at the end of the last chapter would have been fine I think. I think his excuses are good.


  • Saej silver member
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha! I like how you use monologue to dictate feelings and motivation. It adds to the scene in a way straight narration could never do. Awesome.

    Ha! So now I get the feeling something bad is going to happen because he didn't follow Strago's instructions, and Strago is going to have to come to the rescue.

    Ryan is rather feeble-minded. I hope that's what you were going for.

    The overall flow of the piece works. I didn't experience any hangups or places I had to reread in order to make sure I'd read it right. Good job.

    P.S. I would tack it onto the end of the previous chapter. It would fit, and it's only an extra 500 or so words. Just a thought in light of the AN


    • Myryca
      October 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting, Saej! I'm glad the monologue works.

      Ah, it's true. Ryan is quite pathetic sometimes. Heh. But he's meant to be fairly cowardly so feeble-minded is good.

      With the chapter thing, I kind of like it where the previous chapter ends. That's all. But I'll toss it around in my head a bit longer. Thanks for your advice.