A hole of fame, a crevice of thieves1
waiting to steal it away:2
my life, my work, my crowning glory.3
I hoped I would live to see the day4
where crystal death would no longer control5
my crevice of life, my wallowing hole6
of misery, of sorrow, and one day I’d find7
a tangled, twisted and unconscious mind8
could be the just the remedy I needed to see9
what in the world could be done with me.10
I could fight, kick, knock the doors of Hell down11
with a whitened fist and a psychedelic crown12
filled with everything I’d ever done.13
Let me just say, it hasn’t been fun14
to know that this all could just go away,15
to know that my tongue would not let me say16
or more likely cry,17
“Help me! Help me or I might die!”18
The white dreams of demise twirl up inside19
my nose, my head, my soul and my pride.20
I want to cry, I want to hide.21
I’d ask for help, and what would they say?22
“You’ll just do wrong on some other day!”23
Crawling away from the ghastly shade,24
I’d climb my way up, make my own way25
back to sanity, back to safe.26
But for only a moment I’d dare to stay27
in the clean world of conscience and28
heavenly rays of sober cleanliness29
to light my dark days.30
No matter how hard I tried,31
I could not find my way32
to the other side of the bridge, 33
a road going two ways:34
one way to freedom, to carefree and delight.35
One way to decisions, to war and to life.36
Which one would I choose?37
I could not tell,38
for seldom is the journey taken back from Hell.39
I just hoped my lights would take me back,40
show me the courage I thought I lacked.41
Around wrap the warm arms of comfort and kind42
I wantonly need and rarely can find.43
Can I make up my life?44
Can I make up my mind?45
In a heartbeat, maybe,46
or only in time.47
Author notes
We read memoirs in English class, and I read 'Tweak' by Nic Sheff, about his addiction to crystal meth. We had to do two activities regarding the memoir, and I chose to write a narrative poem.
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