Twilight Haters Story


The red light turned green and my mother stepped on the gas pedal. The book store was at the next right turn. We turned into the parking lot and grabbed the available space in the front row. 1

“Okay, I’m going to be looking for my book upstairs, you can meet me back here in about fifteen minutes,” my mother said, getting out the of the door and closing the door.2

“What specific book are you looking for?” I asked curiously.3

“Twilight…” She fluttered her eyelashes and clasped her hands in front of her face. I wanted to gag.4

I walked into the store, leaving my mother out in the parking lot, still dumbstruck from the worst book in the world.5

Once I walked in, I turned to the café and stood in line to get a cup of coffee. I glanced around at the people who were sitting at the tables that surrounded me. Two thirds of them were reading Twilight or another ridiculous book by Stephanie. 6

Gag.7

“Miss, can I help you?” The cashier asked from behind the counter. 8

I spun to face her, not realizing that I was next in line.9

“Yeah, I would like a tall espresso with two shots.” She punched in my order on the cash register. 10

“Will that be all for you today?”11

I thought about this. 12

“No. Can you tell me what is so special about the book Twilight? Have you read it before?”13

She looked at me and responded with a smile, “Twilight is the best book in the world! If you haven’t read it yet, you’d better pick up a copy now, or they’ll all run out—”14

“I don’t want to read the damn book! I hated the first two words that Stephanie wrote down! If I could, I would burn every copy the world has ever seen!” 15

Heads turned to see who had just yelled. I calmed myself and told the frightened woman that I wanted to see a copy of it.16

“Here…” She handed me the book that she had in the pouch of her apron.17

It was the paper back version of Twilight. I smirked.18

Even better, I thought to myself. 19

I took the book with pleasure and tore the cover page off. I heard people gasp. Next, I tore off the back cover; then the spine. All the pages flew around me and fell to the floor. I stomped on them over and over again. 20

I then picked up about seven pages and balled them up, hearing the paper crackle and tear in between my palms. 21

“How do you like that?!” I screamed, wheeling around to the people around the café. “Anyone want to object?!”22

Everyone shook their heads and tried to find some sort of protection. 23

Picking up yet another few pages from the destroyed Twilight, I stuffed a few into my mouth and tore them even more. I threw them back down to the paper-covered floor and stomped out of the awestruck store, leaving my mother to find another way to get home by herself. 24

Author notes

IIII WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAANNNNTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTOOO KKKKKKIILLLL TTWWWWWWIILLLLIIIIIGHHHHTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

DeathBlackRose

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1 - 10 of 10

  • Death By Chocolate
    November 24
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    Edit | Reply

    I agree

    We never thought we'd see the day when the Anti-Twilight community would be able to indulge in some much needed mainstream bashing towards the entire Twilight franchise and its rabid fandom. But for those Antis who have been paying attention we've gotten a few bits of victory popping up all over--from Twilight parody videos that continue to flood YouTube's most watched list, popular television shows like Supernatural and Vampire Diaries who bash Twilight in one way or another, and now we're finally seeing movie critics, book critics, and even actual publishing companies who acknowledge the SUCK of Twilight, embrace it, and do everything they can to speak out against the fail!
    But publishers, magazines, and newspapers have also embraced their hatred towards the franchise and its hack writer Stephenie Meyer. New Moan: The First Book In The TwiShite Saga a full novel length parody published in hardback by Michael O’Mara Books Limited is one of many examples.


    The book has so far received great reviews and was even featured in Grazia Magazine.


    The book promises to be a witty and darkly humorous take on the series and is sure to entertain any Anti-Twilighter in need of a good bash fix drenched in spoofy goodness

  • Aspire
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    That's your opinion, aren't others allowed to have their opinions. I liked Twilight and maybe you should stop bashing S.M. She didn't make people worship the saga the way that they do. Would you like it if you published a story, of an idea you thought was awesome,that was different and everyone started comparing and criticising it? I'm just saying!


  • The Insane Eraser silver member
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    o.o...Um...I hate twilight XD But I do not agree with burnign and or distory books, no matter how bad they are v.v..If p[eople wouldn;t write therm in the first place all would be good, but I sdtill say books are sacred, just not always whats in them ^^


  • XxSceneTristanxX
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is, in no way, a letter form, but it is hilarious.

    Keep up the good work!
    Good luck!

    ~Tristan xoxo


  • CheshireCat
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    I don't really think twilight should be destroyed and I don't think the author should be hated. She just wanted to publish an idea she had and it got big in a matter of years. It was pretty much stroke of luck. I just think some of the annoying people who obsess over it should get socked in the face for being so, well, annoying. However, I am happy to see that someone is on my side and I'm not alone. *Hugs*


  • Sonic Banana
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! WHY CAN'T I DO THIS IN REAL LIFE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M FRIENDING YOU!

  • XxSceneTristanxX
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    I have a Twilight contest called
    NO MORE TWILIGHT!! NO MORE TWILIGHT!!
    lmao.

    *boo's Twilight*

    WHERE IS ANNE RICE?!?!?! SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH S.M.!!!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • Cold Red-Rose
      October 16

      Edit | Reply
      BTW: I mean the 'Imposter' Makes vampires look bad, Not Anne, She Godifies them

    • Cold Red-Rose
      October 16
      Edit | Reply
      AMEN to THAT!!!!
      Anne Rice SO KICKS Stephanie Meyers ASS!!!!
      Anne's Books are WELL MADE QUALITY pieces of Art, Stephanie's is a Home MADE Fawlty Piece of SH*t
      WTF does noone Give Anne Rice the Luv She deserves these days???
      She's being overshadowded by the 'Imposter' She makes Vampires look INCREDIBLY bad

      *Phew* Sorry, Had to get that one off my chest... Anyway, So agree with you there

1 - 10 of 10