The Heartbreaker (Chapter 1)

I watched as my brothers tried to flirt with the new girl, but seeing her turn them down made me laugh. They can never get a girl, I don't have any interest in real relationships, I prefer breaking their hearts. It was so easy and so fun to do. 1

"Hey Jack! What you laughing at? Can't be as funny as you face!"Snickered an idiot jock named Randy. I swear they get more stupid every year, not just their names but their brains too.2

"Hey Lance! I caught Randy making out with your girl!" I called out to another jock but he was more strong, too bad not in his wits. What I said to him was the truth but maybe I twisted it up a bit. It wasn't Randy, it was me. "What!" He snarled and stampeded into him. Beating the living crap out of him, Lance's fist ramming into Randy's jaw line, hearing a faint snap. Blood running down his face. Lance's fist punching over and over into his gut and not letting Randy have one moment to fight back. I couldn't help but let out an evil chuckle. I turned to see my four brothers behind me. 3

A smirk of "your a dumb shit." on their lips. I rolled my eyes and we walked to P.E., I watched as the teacher signed us partners, and I was lucky enough to be signed up with the pretty little new girl. She had black hair, light color skin, pretty brown eyes that matched her nose ring. Her lips full and lush, her frown made me wonder what was wrong. I wonder what she would look like, if she smiled? I wonder what she would do if I broke her heart into millions of pieces? 4

The game we were playing was tag dodge ball, I loved this game. What we had to do is, do the same thing as any dodge ball game but when your out, your partner would take your place. I was the first out there. I got hit after 7 minutes into the game. I walked past her. "Beat that princess." I whispered in her ear before I sat down. I watched as she knocked down most of the bog dogs on the other team and finally got out by Lance.5

I blinked in shock, she lasted longer then I thought she would. She did good, for a girl. "That's emo QUEEN to you, Beat that pretty boy." She laughed. I glared. Game on. I stomped out there, I refused to let her win. Taking the ball and throwing it hard, and it knocked down 3 guys in a row. 6

The feeling of my element rushed around me. "Thanks wind." I muttered silently. She gasped and I just laughed. I tagged her, only because I was bored with this game. "And it's Mr. pretty boy to you." I smirked and my brothers roared with laughter.  7

"Don't get too cocky. That move must have been illegal or something!" She snapped and slammed her foot down on mine.8

I yelped out in pain and glared. "I'd watch that pretty little mouth of yours. Girls are a menace around here. I don't know how you got into this school, but I have ways to get you out." I declared and walked out of the gym. The teacher calling after me but I was too far away to give a damn...9

Author notes

This is only the first chapter. There will be evil spirits, elements and even my own creature I made up when I was in sixth grade. Oh and this is an all boys school but they let the new girl in only because her dad is rich. And also, there is more girls but they go to an all girls school next door. Hows that for a story? Hope you like it. My first time to doing this kind of story!

CutsThatDontBleed (that's my username by the way!)

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Marta gold member
    2 days ago
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    A good lead in and beginning, could have been a little longer but it is what it is.

    Good luck in the contest.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • PhoenixInTheCorner
    November 16
    Edit | Reply

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • CeCeRainbow
    October 29

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    This was good. He's one evil bastard. I think I will read the second chapter when I'm done with this chapter


  • iCats gold member
    October 28

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    Hey.

    Firstly thanks for entering.
    I want to read more! It was really gripping, can't wait to see what happens between the pair of them. You made them both into really strong characters, i love the girl. Mainly because girls love to read about the strong independant girl, she kind of reminds me of me when i was at school.

    The language was good, although i noticed a few mistakes there wasn't anything serious that put me off. It flowed really well except the part about the fight. I understand that the guy told someone the Randy had made out with his gf when really it was Jack. It was just a little confusing about what happened then. Maybe bulk out that chapter a little.

    Anyway, thanks once again for entering; good luck with all the contests. I'll hopefully look forward to reading more.

    Staci

  • zombeeeeee
    October 27
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    amazing

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • Mistress Cheetah
    October 23

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    awesome! Great intro, but there are some errors. Try to read it through. good luck!


  • PurpleScene.
    October 21

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    So cool! I think I already know how the story is going to do down lol.
    I watch to many movies...


  • Danni.
    October 21
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    God how I love the teasing-like name calling!!


  • cutsherself
    October 20

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    HAHAH!! I LOVE THIS!!! I LIKE THE GIRL SHE DOSENT GIVE A SHIT!!1 LOVE IT!!!


  • IceCrystal7
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha I like the new girl! Lol I know your male, but good job in expressing woman power! Ooo evil spirits that sounds interesting in the future as well!


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    October 17

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    This was a amazing write that you have here. I really found this very enjoyable too read. Thanks for enterig and best of luck too you in the contest. Keep up the good work


  • The Insane Eraser silver member
    October 17

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    I watched as my brothers tried to flirt with the new girl(,) but seeing her turn them down made me laugh.

    "What!" He snarled and stampeded into him. Beating the living crap out of him,(DETAIL NEEDED HERE!) I couldn't help but let out an evil chuckle. I turned to see my four brothers behind me.

    Thats all I nocited and this seems to be inmteresting...I like the girl >.> she kicked butt XD.

    GL!

    Love
    Karbear


  • XDeadInsideAlwaysX
    October 16

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    This is really good I like it. Add me maybe I can help you out if you get stuck sometime


  • I am forever me
    October 16

    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    this is reallli gud luved it hope u continue its amazing cant wait 2 read more.
    xoxo always lana


  • Little Lilly Angel
    October 15

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    It's interesting, and you enterd that Hard contest!!
    I was going to enter, but i never write a novel lol
    So you have to write the rest, I shall be looking foroward to reading it

1 - 16 of 16