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One day Timmy was feeling bored. He had played with his trucks, his boats, and his guns. He had sung with his jukebox, but there was no more fun to be found.
"What else is there to do?" Timmy asked Ralf the dog.
"Maybe mom can find some fun things for me to do," he said, and Ralf barked in approval.2
He rushed down the stairs to look for his mother. She was in the gallery with baby Rose-Marie.
"What are you doing mom?" asked Timmy.
"I'm reading a magazine," Timmy's mother replied. "Do you want to come and read with me? It is about how to make toys. We can read how to make stuffed animals, airplanes out of eggshells' trays, and even a cardboard house. It will be fun!"
"No!" said Timmy while stumping his feet. "Books aren't fun. You can't take them in the sun, or ride them around the play-ground."3
Timmy rushed out the gallery and went to the living room.
"What are you doing Kate?" he asked his big sister. "You look happy. You must be having fun."
"Yes! I am. I'm reading a novel. It's about a beautiful princess in a far away land," replied Kate.
"Yuk!" scoffed Timmy," That’s not fun! Books are silly. Why don't you come out and play with me. We can build sand castles, or play hide and seek."
"Sorry Timmy, I can't come out to play now. I like to read books each and every day. You'll like them too when you've grown up. You'll see you'll want to read books from A to Zee."
Timmy tip toed and looked into the book. "Yuk! No pictures that can't be fun."4
Timmy left the living room sadly and went to get his bat and ball.
His father was in the garden, Timmy shouted out loud, "Dad, can we play bat and ball."
"No!" said his dad "I have a lot or reading to do."
"READING!" cried Timmy in an awfully loud wail.
"No-one reads in the garden, on such a hot and sunny day. The sun will bounce off the pages and get into your eyes!" Timmy exclaimed.
"Yes, Timmy that is true. I'm reading in the shed. I'm reading how to make the roses bloom."5
"I can tell you how flowers bloom," said Timmy cheekily. "We learned about it in school. All they need is plenty of water and a lot of sunlight. Everyone knows that, even Pranky the clown."
"No," said dad, "That’s not all. There are weeds and pests and a lot more things to learn about. "6
Timmy sat on the porch, and pouted and sighed.
"What a boring family I have. Everyone loves to read."7
"Timmy," shouted grandpa Jimmy. "Come here I have something for you."
"What is it?" asked Timmy. "Is it something special? Could it be a horse? Maybe a toy airplane, or a giant Ice cream cone?"
"No," said Grandpa. "It's better than all that."
"What is it?" asked Timmy, "I'm very anxious now!"
"Come and sit beside me." grandpa Jimmy said to him.8
Timmy's grandpa read to Timmy, and Timmy enjoyed it much.
They read about a foolish emperor who walked about without clothes, and then about as king who could turn everything he touched into gold.9
Timmy and grandpa Jimmy laughed and giggled and didn't want to stop.
"Grandpa" called Timmy "Can I read my own books now?"
"Yes," said grandpa Jimmy, " Go and pick which book you want to read."10
Timmy went to the library and then took a book. He read it very quickly and then started to look. He took another and then another and then he just couldn't stop. 11
"Timmy," called Kate. "Let's go to the park to walk the dog. We'll come back just before dark."
But Timmy was busy, under a pile of books. He was reading about Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
"This is more fun than running in the sun!" said Timmy." Sorry Kate I can't come, reading books is by far more fun."12
"Timmy," called his mom. "Let's go to the sea shore, and watch the ships set sail."
But Timmy was diving in a book. He felt like he was in the Ocean, swimming with giant Killer Whales.
"No, not today! Take baby Rose-Marie. She'll love to see the ships at sea!" Timmy exclaimed.13
"Timmy let's shoot hoops," shouted his dad from the garage door.
"I'm busy reading," replied Timmy, "Shooting hoops will make me sweaty. I'm reading about "The Elves and the Shoe maker" that is far much more fun."14
"Timmy called grandpa Jimmy, let's go buy ice cream."
"No, thanks," said Timmy. I'm reading about Hannibal the cannibal and do you know what?"
"What Timmy?" asked grandpa Jimmy.
"I like to read."15
Author notes
A contest entry
- Anything!! by Mistress Cheetah.
180 points, ended October 23, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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lawl. Great kids story, very very random indeed. Good luck!
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Hey jauhar,
This is a great kids story. I like the way you show that reading can be fun and transport the reader to far away places and exciting adventures. You should submit this one, looks like a shoe-in
Steve
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I do like this. Simple and to the point with the short sentences that suit younger readers. The format is certainly different (intentional?), but still readable. I can see this has gone through some edits, this is why I don't really have anything to suggest or offer. Good work :-)
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A lovely childrens story that can help teach them about reading and the importance of books.
I think the imagery portrayed will also help the agile minds of children to 'see' what is taking place.
I have a few edits you may (or may not) wish to look at:
para 2: Ralf bark(ed)
para 3: stuff(ed) animals
para 4: scuffed (scoffed)
para 4: I can't come out to play(.)
para 4: look(ed) into the book.
para 6: pest(s)
para 9: with out (without)
para 9: about as (a) king
In some places you have Grandpa and in others you have Grandpa Jimmy. This needs to be standardized otherwise children will think there are two grandpas - either Grandpa OR Grandpa Jimmy.
Overall, a lovely story for children.
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"He song with his jut box..."???
Something tells me you didn't mean to do that...
Okay... The concept is good. Your basic execution is passable. Your grammar and punctuation needs a little help. (<-- mostly you're missing commas, apostrophes, and quotation marks)
I'm getting the impression this is meant to be a children's story. That's cool, and your concepts are simple enough that a small child could easily follow them. However, there are parts in the middle where the end of the lines rhyme, but it stops after a short while. My suggestion (and this is only my opinion) would be that you try to make it consistent throughout the story in its entirety. Either you should take the rhyming bits away, or you should endeavor to make it all rhyme.
You have a little bit of work to do before submitting it to a publisher if that is your intent, but nothing that can't be handled. I would very much like to see the piece again after you've polished it a bit. -
It's generally a nice story however I noticed a few mistakes:
17 Spelling
19 the idea of the sun bouncing off the pages and hurting your eyes; I think for a kid is a little complex. Either you have to word it more simply or provide an easier idea/explanation.
31 spelling
38& 43, the tone used in these paragraphs implies a sense of negativity towards other activities which may affect a childs thinking. The image you create with your tone is that anything other than reading is bad, and I'm not saying that you've done that intetntionally however as a child the psychology is a lot more subtle and kids will interpret things in a very simplistic manner, so I don't think you wan to give the idea that everything other than reading is bad.
Nonetheless it's cool
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Thanks for your comment but I was trying to show a change in Timmy's attitude. In the beginning he didn't want to read at the end all he wanted to do was.
I'm not saying that reading is the only things that kids should do.
Thanks anyway, your opinion is highly appreciated.
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Nice
Apt story and I think we've all been there or we wouldn't be here.
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