Preliminary Testing

It was around 1:20.  In my black skating dress with silver sparkles on it, I was, by far, the most nervous girl in whole history of the world.  I was chilled to the bone, and I could've gone numb and been oblivious to the fact that I couldn't feel a single inch of my body.  As stiff as I was, I didn't want to move.  I could barely hear Kristen say:1

"Move your feet around.  Relax! You look like you're going to pass out!"2

I wish I could've relaxed.  But in the pit of my stomach I could hear "you're going to fail."  Despite what I tried to tell myself to reverse my instinct, I wasn't victorious in ANY attempt.3

While looking up at Jessica, I told myself I couldn't fail.  I didn't want her to see me fail.  But I still felt helplessly alone standing amid various coaches and skaters I had known since I was 9 or 10.  4

My breath wouldn't come easily.  Of course, that was to be expected, but when I forced myself to inhale, the cold air stung my throat and exhaling tempted goosebumps to appear on my naked arms.  My chattering teeth continued to make noise, obviously annoying Kristen.  Suddenly, the speaker in the music box sputtered and monotonously called for me to take the ice.  5

I reluctantly skated out to where I began my program, got into my starting position and waited for my music.6

With the first note, I tried to fall into character, but my nervousness had other plans.  My apathetic expression had given way and I could only concentrate on completing all my moves.  7

Unfortunately, my confidence, which was hanging on by a thread at the beginning, was completely demolished when I went into my sit spin.  My form was terrible and I could feel myself traveling and falling over.  Feeling on the brink of hysteria, I calmed myself and told myself to just think about then next element in my program.  8

I was about to end, when I looked over at Kristen and saw her smiling.  Beyond any reason, I knew then as horribly as I thought I was going to fail, everything was going to be fine.9

I finished and skated over to Kristen.  The judges didn't call me over to retry anything, so I assumed I failed because of my sit spin. 10

Taking my skates off and talking to Kristen, Jessica and my mom, a woman approached me with the results.11

I glanced over them feverishly, just looking for the pass or fail section.  In seconds, I stared in disbelief as I notice a sloppy pencil mark that circled the four letter word I had longed for, for three years.  I passed.12