Declaration of Independence From School

As a citizen of the United States of America, I have the right to stand against that in which I believe has become corrupt. In this case, it is the vast idea of School that will not loosen its treacherous grip on the lives of innocent students. When the school becomes the center of a student’s life, it is high time to rebel against it. Time to push back against its hold on our minds and gain back the control of the lives we started long ago. 1

In this life, a person does not have to get up each day and dread what is to come. A person does not have to get up knowing that they have to go into the same routine. A person has the chance to get the required hours of sleep, and go to bed at a desired time of their choice. Each life is no longer filled with the distress of an exam or unfinished work. Each person goes to sleep at night with a clear mind, without worry, and wakes up fully rested and again, without worry. The day is not planned with the rigorous schedule of classes, and is free of crowded hallways and high-pitched bells. Each person is not hoping, waiting, for that last minute to come when they can leave, they can be fully focused on what they are doing in the here and now, and not on an hour ahead. There is time enough to do what each person wishes, time enough for each person to relax, and not have to worry about when they have to go to bed, or that they might forget something the next day. 2

The School is preventing the good health of its students. We are crammed together each day, among the coughing, sneezing students, with no agreeable amount of time to wash our hands of germs. We have no agreeable space in order to prevent the catching of another person’s germs. We are required each day to sit at a desk that another person has used, regardless of the state of their hygiene, regardless of the fact that the desks could carry the germs of a disease we could catch. And then, we cannot take an absence in order to get well again, we are expected to come to school sick, and spread the disease to other students, thus creating an epidemic of the common cold and cough, which gladly breeds among us. 3

The School is only adding to the high levels of stress in the students’ lives. We are piled with homework every night, and expected to finish it, not including the fact that time is added for studying. This leaves no time for relaxation and centers our lives around the school, so that we have no time for anything else. Even if we try to have a life of our own, and play music, or read a book, it only means that we have to put off something school related in order to do so. This would only leave us rushing before the end of the night, and add to the stress of getting things done. We are rushed between classes, with only a few minutes to squeeze through the overcrowded halls, get our books and head to class. We have no time for talking, or getting an assignment straight before the end of the day, when it’s to late, for we have to start the daily routine of homework. 4

So, as one could clearly see, the world of School is simply a corruption that must be dealt with immediately. It is taking over its student’s lives and controlling them mercilessly, making it impossible to live a life of relaxation, doing things that are enjoyable. It grips each student and threatens them with high levels of stress and illness. There is no way for the student to escape its grip, and no way fro the student to stay out of harms way, unless they either submit to the controlling ways of the School, or to rebel. I chose the latter.  5

Author notes

ok, so this is more of an essay, but i didnt know where else to post it. but anyway, i had to write it for socila studies. It's suposed to be a persuasive essay delcaring myself independent from something that is not a government, since we're going over the declaration of independence. but yeah, i think i have down pretty good, but im not sure of it yet. like, the introduction and the conclusion are all creative and stuff, and the ideals *second paragraph* i think are kinda dumb, so if you ahve any ideas on how to re-word it or something, or help in general on that section, please, your critisism would be GREATLY appreciated. and then the arguments/complaints paragraphs *three and four* im not sure of either. like, it think are good points and all, but im not sure if theyre wrorded right to be in a persuasive essay, so againm, critisism would be very much apreiciated. or just any comments you might have. yeah, thank you.

What did you think? Please comment!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • LifeOfCharmed
    November 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Gosh, this is excellant I love it and yes how true it is. Thankfully I no longer have to put up with the facism and cruelty (teachers call it learning). I hated school and have absolutly nothing good to say about it. O well i did make some pretty good friends but that wasnt because of school urrmmm damn Im changing my mind about school now I guess it was fun anoying teachers and getting dettention lol.. Anyways I loved your write,

    Ur Peter C..
    XXX

  • When September Ends
    October 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    why thank you for your comment. yeah, i was thinking the same thing. but i dont know how to re-word it, and its due tomorrow, and i really dont care, so i decided i was done. lol. but if i think of something, i'll change it.


  • ladynigritude
    October 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    In the end of the second paragraph, you made an error in the sentence "to worry about when they have tog o to bed". Also, in the start of the third sentence, you made a grammatical error in "We crammed together each day" (it should be "we ARE crammed together").

    I particularly liked the line "thus creating an epidemic of the common cold and cough, which gladly breeds among us." though. Twas spiffeh.

    The essay overall was, I guess, "fine", but I think it got repetitive a lot, like you couldn't explain it perfectly enough so you tried to reword it several other ways to get the point across. I can't remember from what other people at school said, but did you have to have only two main points? It would sound better if you shortened this and simplified it, and if you wanted length then put in a third main point.

    Emma read off hers to me, and she was doing a declaration against Howell. XDDD If I had your people's class, I woulda had fun with this essay....

    @_________________@

    ~ Lady ~