Email Me (Chunk 14--Final Chapter!)

Ring.  Ring.  Ring.1

“Hello?”2

“Good.  You’re alive.  I was gonna call the cops if nobody answered.”3

“Hi, Dad.”4

"Where’ve you been?  You haven’t replied to any of my emails!”5

“A lot has been going on.  I haven’t even bothered to use the computer for a long time.”6

“Ahh.  I see.  Everything alright?  You sound glum…”7

“No.  I’m good.  I guess.  Say, if I haven’t returned any of your emails for so long, and you were so worried, why didn’t you call before?”8

“I was away on business until yesterday.”9

“Oh.”10

“Are you sure that you’re okay?”11

“Yes, Dad.  I’m fine.  Can you call back later?”12

“Alright.  Well, check your email once in a while.  It costs less that phoning!  Just kidding.  Oh, hey!  I was checking out the rates to flying up there…  I think that I might be able to visit right before you start school again.”13

“Okay.  Cool.  Bye, Dad.”14

“Love you.  Bye.”15

“Love you, too.  Bye.”16

Carrie threw the cordless phone onto her bed and dove on after it.  She’d check her long awaiting emails after.  Right now, she had to think.  And cry.17

*****18

Carrie sulked up off her bed and over to her computer to finally check her email.  As she discovered, there were far too many messages to count and she wondered why none of her correspondents had ever mentioned her neglect…19

Then, she felt guilty.  Kyle and everything that had been happening lately had consumed her.  She hadn’t talked to Mary in forever.20

Carrie made a mental note to call Mary later and apologize.21

Most of Carrie’s emails were from so long ago, she didn’t bother to read them and there were no really recent ones, since her account had been devout for a couple weeks.  The emails she did read, she didn’t reply to.22

Before logging off, Carrie sent around an apology note (saying that she was now using her email again) to all of her contacts.  Except Kyle.23

She felt so stupid for ever believing that he was perfect, and she felt so guilty for breaking up with him out of the blue like that, and just after everything else in his life had fallen apart, too.  Carrie desperately wished that they could’ve been friends, and even more desperately, she wished that she hadn’t ended the relationship.  She could’ve given him a warning or something, or even suggested a break to give him time to get things in his life back together again.24

But now, it was over forever.  She knew it would be too weird if they got back together.  She wouldn’t even let herself daydream about it.  There was no use pretending.25

**********26

There was no denying it, it was autumn.  The wind whipped about, leaving the city as cold as Carrie felt on the inside.  The only heat was her heart; burning with regret, guilt, and loneliness.27

It was still over.  Kyle was still gone.28

Carrie finally forced herself to detach the plastic superman watch from her wrist, but instead of throwing it away or burning it like some girls would after a relationship ended, Carrie slid it underneath her bed.  She knew it was pathetic that she’d worn it until then…  And even more so that she was keeping it.  But it would help her remember, and there’s no harm in remembering.29