Twilight: Written MY Way

Hi, I’m Isabella Marie Swan. No, I’m not the little puff ball of indecision and clumsy-ness and says “spread the love for Edward and Jacob!” But the thing is that story was based off my life. I did move to Forks to live with my dad, and I did meet a vampire and hung out with a werewolf. 1

So, I’m moving. No, it’s not because I wanted to for my mom – I could care less about her feelings because I’d rather be a vampire – but because I’m b-b-b-b-aaaaad to the bone. Rock solid, hard core and awesome. Too cool for school? Yes, that is me.2

I had to move to get away from the evil-ness of Phoenix and into the small town of Forks. Did they have neighborhoods called Spoons and Knives (or I guessed Knives would be too emo). There doesn’t seem to be a bad thing about this town.3

I’m at school. It’s so small – there isn’t any room for anything. Kids push me against the wall, and a stupid kid thinks that’s a way to get my attention. 4

“Yo!” He says with no gangster resemblance at all. “You must be Isabella! Or do you go by Bella?” 5

“Uh, no. I go by Izz.” I reply. “Who are you? The welcoming committee?”6

“Yeah, I’m Mike!” 7

“Freak. Hey, maybe you could tell me where the parties are? With the beer and stuff?”8

“Parties? Forks doesn’t have parties! And drinking is bad for you.”9

“Goody goody.” I return.10

It’s lunch and Mike is still following me. What a freak. He seats me at a table with a bunch of needy girls who can’t do anything for themselves so I come up with dumb ideas and they think they’re the best ever. They talk about boring things about swimmers and all that nonsense and I stare out the window. 11

Suddenly, a bunch of kids who seriously need a tan come in. Oh yeah, the guys are hot even for the lack of a healthy complexion.12

“Who are they?” I interrupt some perky sporty girl.13

“Those are the Cullens.” She licks her lips in some hooker-like fashion to the last one that comes in. Compared to the others, he’s scrawny but still hot.14

I don’t really want to bug her in that zombie-like trance, so I continue eating my bacon sandwich with steak and red meat surprise. Oh yeah, I love red meat – not those stupid veggie burgers.15

It’s biology or something now. It’s boring but I have to sit next to the hot Cullen guy. He plugs his nose as soon as I sit down. I flicked him on his head and it made him stop. He ended up glaring at me for the rest of the period. 16

“Can I help you or something?” I ask him. “I don’t even know you but your staring at me is really freaking me out.”17

“My name is Edward Cullen.” He said. “I think you’re the most beautiful person alive and I’m going to spend my eternity protecting you. But, your blood also smells REALLY good, as to cause some sort of problem between us. So, the question is, can I love you more than your blood?”18

I patted him on the shoulder, “Whatever works with you?” And the rest of class continued as if we hadn’t interrupted anything.19

A few days later, the guy named Edward saves me from a minivan hitting me. Well, he may be scrawny compared to his bros, but he’s hecka strong all the same! He’s hot, and I pretty much forget about the whole random conversation we had.20

Then, I’m walking in the forest, and I realize Eddie’s behind me! How did he get here? How random? Is he a stalker?21

“You know what I am.” He says, staring at me with some glary and creepy eyes which is supposed to make this moment intense.22

“Sure.” I say slowly, so not to provoke him.23

“Say it, say it out loud.” He demands.24

“Say what?” Okay, I don’t care about his dramaticness, this is stupid.25

He seems a little surprised. “That’s the part where you say ‘vampire’.”26

“You’re a vampire? That’s totally wicked! But, where are your fangs?” I poke him, trying to provoke his fangs to extend. “Are you one of those poser vampires?”27

“Yes, I am.” He replies, “I don’t have fangs, I don’t sleep and I sparkle in the sun.”28

“Okay, that’s weird.” I begin to walk away but Edward carries me on his back and takes off with super speed.29

“Where are you taking me?” I ask.30

“The sun! You have to see what I am!” 31

So he takes me up into the sun and takes off his shirt. (that’s hot) He starts sparkling in the sun. All trace of macho-ness is gone. 32

“Weirdo.” I begin to walk away.33

He’s in front of me now. “Are you afraid?”34

“No, but your hella random. Why would I be afraid of a guy who sparkles?”35

“I’ve killed people before.” It’s like these lines are rehearsed or something. Have I come onto some cliché movie set?36

“So that means you’re a serial killer.”37

“Do you want to go out with me?”38

I think about it. He’s hot, strong and it seems okay, though I have to work on this whole protection thing. 39

“Sure.” I say.40

So the romance goes on. I realize that going out with Edward gives me more attention, but he’s annoying. He doesn’t even really want to kiss me and tells me how fascinated he is by every little thing I do. And then to top it all off, he can read minds while he can’t read mine for some freaky reason. How convenient. My blood is so tasty and he can’t read my mind. So to substitute that, he asks me what I’m thinking ALL THE TIME. What a freak.41

One time, I had enough. I woke up, and found him staring at me while I was sleeping. AGAIN!!! 42

“Eddie!” I sigh, “Go home. I’m sleeping. Get a life again and I’ll see you tomorrow.”43

“You’re amusing when you sleep.” He says.44

“Well I’m a comedian, it’s what I do.” I say sarcastically.45

He laughs anyway. I grab a silver chain off of my nightstand and throw it at him, hoping it will make him repel. It doesn’t.46

“Don’t you have any freakin weaknesses?”47

“No, that’s one reason why we’re so perfect. We’re hot, and we can’t die.”48

So that’s fine. I go to a stupid baseball game with him and his family (I actually play) and then Edward’s second cousin named Jim or whatever comes. He thinks my blood is awesome and then he blackmails me to surrender running away from him. Edward insists that I do because I could easily take that Jason down but he wants to be the strong guy. 49

So I’m in an old ballet studio where a couple of my friends and I got drunk one time and Jeff comes. Well, I of course, can’t really kill him but I kick him where it matters most. He falls to the ground and cries like a little girl. 50

Then Edward comes in and he and Jack start fighting. My Eddie’s knocked to the side and Jimmie comes and bites my wrist! 51

“Ugh!” I cry, punching him in the face, “You freakin cannibal!” 52

It makes him back off but now my hand is hurting. I think that this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. Jamie is now dead, and Edward is sucking the blood out of my wrist. 53

“Excuse me, what are you doing?” I ask.54

“She’s incoherent!” His dad yells, “Alice, slap her!”55

So she does and I decide to kick her as my rebuttal. “Some doctor you are!” I yell at whats-his-name. 56

“Stay with me, Izz!” Eddie cries.57

“I am. You guys are so dramatic.” I return tranquilly. 58

Then, Alice comes back and punches me in the face. Lights out.59

I wake up in a hospital. Ed is there, smiling at me with some flowers. That’s nice. But then I remember what happened. “Is that one guy dead?”60

“Yes, James is dead.” He replies.61

“Oh yeah, James! I thought I forgot his name!”62

“That’s probably why he wanted to kill you. He hates it when people mess up his name.”63

“I should keep that in mind.” I thought aloud.64

Suddenly, my mom comes in. 65

“Oh I was so worried about you!” She smiles at me being awake.66

“So can I move down to Florida?” I’d had enough of these freakin vampires. I wanted sunshine, and LOTS of it.67

“Nope!” She smiles. “You need to stay here and go out with that one guy; get married right after high school and have a kid! Preferably a daughter with some confusing name that no one really understands but you!” 68

“Uh… sure.” I agree.69

“Okay, well bye.” She says and walks out of the room. 70

Well, I did get better, and I went out with Edward. He was taking me to the prom because I – being the REAL Isabella – wanted to go.71

We danced and Edward took me outside. 72

“You should have turned me into a vampire.” I thought aloud.73

“Yes, but then again no.”74

“Why not?”75

“Because I don’t want to hurt you. And then after your 18th birthday, I can leave you – make you a depressed lump and then when I hear you killed yourself but you really didn’t, I will go to Italy and we can have a great reunion!”76

I didn’t really know how these guys could see into the future while I couldn’t. 77

“It’s twilight.” He said abruptly.78

“Huh?” I looked at him.79

“The time. It’s twilight.”80

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”81

“Don’t you think it’s romantic?” He asked in such a creepy whimsical way. 82

“Uh… no.” 83

So we left it at that.84

I wanted to be a vampire, Edward didn’t want me to. He thought twilight was romantic, I thought that twilight was just another word for dusk. He thought it was potato, I thought it was Puerto Rico. All in all, we had a great relationship because he wrote songs and I’d listen to them. He would tell me what not to do, and I would do it anyways behind his back. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.85