a phone call once a month wont do

once again it was that time of month, the first of every month was the only time Kate could here Jason. she could never see him never touch him., never see him smile, all she would get was his voice. but even that had changed, his voice was no longer happy and full of the soft hum it held, now? now it was harsh, short, distant. Kate didn't like what that was doing to him. it kept her awake at nights, it kept her up crying, wishing he would just come home, but still, no matter how much she begged Jason still never came home. 1

so here she sat, curled up on the sofa, her knees brought as far as they would go to her chest with out pushing to hard against her 6 month bump. her hands pulled and twisted at the faiding fabric of Jason's old college sweater. the bright blue was now turning a dull gray, some night Kate would pull the sweater over her nose just to breath in the sent she remembered of him. the soft yet distinctive smell of Jason's aftershave and natural sent. Kate sat now the jumper pulled over her nose, the sleeves tugged down over her hands as she waited for his call. every minute she would look up at the old wooden clock that Jason had drilled wonky to the wall above there TV. Kate couldn't help but smile at the memory. they had spent all day wondering the local markets and antique shops till they settled on this plane wooden carved clock. the clock wasn't so important but it was the time they spent looking for it. Kate remembered how they had ran around the antique yard in old Spanish civil war coats and hats or how they sat at old china tea tables with polished silverware. that day had been her favoured threw out the many they had.2

just as Kate got lost in that day the phone that sat on the piano rang loudly, vibrating the piano top slightly. she lept off the sofa knocking her tea off the table at the same time, but as the phone kept ringing she ignored it darting for the phone. grabbing the receiver hard, the cradle falling to the floor.3

"Jason" she beemed but the line was dead "hello, Jason" but still no answer. instantly Kate's smiling face fell, tears burning up inside her and sadness taking over. sighing she bent down to pick up the cradle placing the receiver back in and putting it on the piano top. huffing she sat down. staring back up at the clock "he'll call" she whispered "he'll call us" she whispered again rubbing a hand over her swollen stomach. that's what hurt her so much, that Jason wouldn't be there when there amazing gift was born, when there little angel would be brought home, when there baby would smile up at them knowing that its being loved and cared for by two loving parents. it saddened Kate to think that Jason wouldn't see its first steps, here its first words, see its first tooth. tears stung, threatening to over spill. "his going to love you when he see's you" Kate said out loud, if he ever sees you she added mentally. then again the phone started to ring, this time Kate was faster at picking up the phone ,beeming "Jason"4

"hiya baby" a smile pushed across Kate's face, her heart fleeting as she heard his voice, admittedly it was not the same, but it was still Jason.5

"Ive missed you" Kate said before Jason could get anymore words out, smiling she waited for a i miss you back but it never came instead it was more complaints about how hot and sweaty it was in Iraq. "come home then" she joked but deep inside it was all true and want " the foods better at home too" she giggled.6

"i cant come home don't be stupid" Jason snapped "its hard enough wishing i was but having you rub it in my face is enough" Kate pouted sadly7

"I'm sorry baby, was just trying to make you smile" she heard a heavy sigh on the other end of the phone8

"don't get all pouty and soppy on me" he demanded9

"I'm not" Kate squeaked, trying to hold back her tears,  she couldn't understand why Jason was being so snappy and rude.10

"you are" he amended " i can here it in your voice" Kate frowned "its not helpful"11

"neither is you being nasty but it ain't stopped ya" again a heavy sigh from Jason's end.12

"I'm sorry baby, its hard up here" Kate nodded silently along with what Jason was saying, how he moaned that he couldn't sleep as all he heard of a night was some of the other men winging about not being home, how the night air was too hot, how it was too sticky, how the food sucked, how his skin was dry and couldn't take a decent shower.13

"all the more reason to come home" Kate muttered quietly wrapping the phone lead around her fingers.14

"i cant come back, don't you get that, i cant come back till they say i can"15

"you mean till you do there fucking dirty work" Kate snapped, it always shacked her when she swore, it wasn't something she did often, only when truly mad. "you have been down there for almost six months now, and still nothing has happened, why cant they send you home, they know you have a baby on the way don't that mean nothing to them..... to you" she added. the line was quiet, silent but for Jason's soft breathing. "Jason" she squeaked horrified that it wouldn't matter to him.16

"course it does" he sighed "it really does, id love to be there baby" Kate was about to ask him when he could come home but yelling came down the phone, his Sargent no doubt thought Kate, her heart falling. "look i have to go"17

"OK" Kate pouted " i love yo-" but before she could finished the phone clicked off and the line went dead. her tears ran freely and easy now. not once has Jason ever forgotten do say i love you before leaving, not once. except for now. things were going wrong now Kate thought, phone calls were getting shorter, phone calls where happening less, soon phone calls would be finished. placing the phone down softly late rubbed at her stomach. "on phone call a month isn't enough" she said to her belly "not enough at all"