Busy Man

Roscoe and his twin sister Rose had been separated at birth. Their mother had slept with a homeless guy and given birth to them in the back of a van. They were dropped off at a hospital 22 years ago. Both kids were adopted by separate families and had grown up hundreds of miles apart. 1

One day, while Roscoe was banging a girl he met at the mall, his phone rang.2

“Yeah what?” he said, shooing the girl out of the room.3

“Hello?” said the voice.4

“Who is this?” he asked. “I was in the middle of someone.”5

“Well,” said the voice. “My name is Rose and I believe you are my brother.”6

Roscoe was shocked. He had always known he had a biological sister but never cared. His adoptive parents had adopted a cuter baby girl to be his sister 22 years ago. 7

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah, that’s cool.”8

“Well,” Rose started. “Would you like to meet sometime? I was going to be in Jersey next weekend.”9

“That’s fine,” said Roscoe.10

“Well,” she answered. “I guess I’ll call you in a few days when I arrive in town.”11

“Sounds good,” he replied. “Talk to you soon.”12

A few days passed by with Roscoe still plugging bitches. Then on Saturday morning he received a call.13

“Yeah what?” he asked into his cell.14

“Hey,” said Rose. “It’s me.”15

“Call me back in twenty babe,” he said, flipping his cell phone shut and falling back asleep.16

A few hours later Rose called him back.17

“I thought I would let you sleep a little longer so you would have energy for our day today,” began Rose.18

“Oh right,” said Roscoe. “Um, what are we doing anyway? I have to be free by six tonight. There’s this girl I have to go have sex with and stuff.”19

“Okay,” said Rose. "Well, we could have lunch.”20

“Sounds good,” said Roscoe. “What do you want to eat?”21

“Oh,” replied Rose. “It really doesn’t matter. I just want to see you and catch up.”22

“Ketchup is good,” said Roscoe. “How about the Macdonald’s on Crimson Avenue?”23

“Yes, that sounds fine,” agreed Rose.24

“There in twenty?” asked Roscoe.25

“Perfect,” said Rose. “See you soon.”26

A while later the pair sat in a booth eating sandwiches. 27

“Oh this tastes gross,” said Rose.28

“So,” started Roscoe. “What do you do for work and stuff?”29

“I’m a caterer,” answered Rose. “I graduated about a year ago and have been working independently since. It’s fun.”30

“Caterer?” asked Roscoe. “Is that like Meals on Wheels?”31

“Sort of,” laughed Rose. “What do you do for a living?”32

“Oh I bum money off my parents,” he said smiling. “Sometimes I go over to this girl’s house and…”33

Rose was getting very tired of Roscoe’s love of women.34

“I think I better be going,” she said. “Lovely to have met you.”35

“What?” asked Roscoe. “I still don’t have to be at her house til six. We can do something else if you want.”36

“Like what?” asked Rose.37

“I think you know what I want,” smiled Roscoe.38

The End39