Obsessed-Chapter 7

The kids had been put to sleep in one of my guest rooms, and I had made coffee. We sat in the kitchen, and I took out a bottle of whiskey in case she wanted to make her coffee Irish.  I knew that as soon as she saw my face, she knew, that I had been having an affair with Alvin, for she had an almost identical bruise on her cheek.  "So its been you all along?"  She looked at me with huge eyes, gone watery.  "Let me explain, I'll tell you  the whole story, straight from the beginning, just please, stay quiet until I'm finished."  She nodded her head, and I began my story, from the moment I met Alvin, to the very last, just a couple of hours ago.  I began to cry, and so did she, and then she told me what had been happening to her, how she thought she had fallen in love with him again, how dirty she felt whenever he made love to her, which he really did, how he changed.  "I'm so sorry Lisa, this guilt has been tearing me apart, at first I didn't know how to let him go, and then when I could, when I had decided to about a month ago, I noticed more and more how he changed, and in the end I realized he'd probably kill me if I broke it off, that's when I brought the gun.  I'm so sorry, I know you probably hate me, but I still love you, with all my heart.  And now I realize that is why Alex left me, he knew I could never love him the way I love you.  I just chose the wrong person to have an affair with, the wrong person to fall in love with after him, to forget about you.  You can hate me, and I'll understand, but stay here for now, I know Alvin is crazy, he's fucking crazy."  Two tears slipped down her face, and to me she never looked more beautiful.  She raised her hand, I thought, at first to hit me.  Then she caressed my face and spoke.  I looked at her, eyes wide in surprise.  "I still love you too, but I think its better for both of us, if we didn't get into anything, especially after all that's happening, I think I can be with you eventually, but right now, I have to get my life together, and I have to try, to try, to forgive you, to understand, maybe you had your reasons, maybe you just wanted to be loved, and he showed you attention, maybe its because you were suicidal, maybe you were really obsessed in the beginning and couldn't help yourself, but I'm not going to be with you, or forgive you right away, just because you ended it with him, or because you have been ridden with guilt, these past months.  I'm not trying to be a bitch, and if I didn't love you, I'd probably never speak to you again, but I need time Vivian."  I shook my head, "I understand."  Lisa then looked at me and said,"So what are we going to do about Alvin?" I looked at her serious then," I don't know Lisa, all I know is that Alvin is going crazy, and if I don't kill him first, he's going to kill me."1