I looked at my motionless mother and gulped. I knew what I had to do. Praying my little brother would stay asleep, I slipped silently out the locked attic door, locking it back. I gripped the gun in my hand hard as I quietly crept down the empty hall. I inwardly screamed as I heard a deep laugh from downstairs. I felt myself become dizzy, so I steadied myself on the wall.11
After a couple of seconds leaning against the wall motionless, I kept wallking. The silent thumps of my footsteps felt like I was hearing granite being slammed against the floor. 22
Suddenly, I heard heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs. My heart began accelarted and I started breathing heavily. I looked around for a sign escape, yet I didn't find one. I looked to my left and saw a door. Gratefully, I slowly opened it, trying not to make much sound. It was a bathroom. Well, it was all I was going to get.33
I slipped in soundlessly and wondered what I was to do. By reflex, I flipped on the light. Realizing what I had done, I hurriedly turned it off.44
I heard the loud footsteps echo through the halls and I cowered against the wall. I looked around, whipping my head around to try to figure out where to hide. I jerked the curtains back and leapt into the bathtub, not knowing what else to do. I lied flat down in the tub, knowing my life was about to end. I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I repeated to myself, over and over again. I heard them opening each door and look inside.55
After what felt like forever, they opened the door to the bathroom. I couldn't breathe.66
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My Mother's Point of View88
Lilly Clark slowly came back into reality. She coughed once and the again, having to sit up. After she stopped, she look around slowly. "What in the..." murmured Lilly. Then it all came back to her. Waking up in the middle of the night, the dog going off, hiding in the attic, and then passing out.99
"Bella?" said Lilly softly. No answer. "Bella," she called a little louder. She stood up straight and whipped her head around, searching for her beloved daugher.1010
She was no where to be found. She stood up quickly and almost tripped over her son. He was lying on a pillow snoozing. 'How can he be so calm?' she asked herself. As if to contrdict her, he started crying loudly. She felt as if things couldn't get any worse. She tried to shush the babby, unsuccesfully. She stroked his hair softly, helping him to calm down. He always loved it when his hair was stroked. Suddenly, Lilly erupted in tears. Her husband was gone, her daughter was gone, and her son was attracting the attention of the people that were robbing her. Her tears mircaslouly calmed the baby down. The little baby lifted his finger and touched his mom's face. 1111
She kissed his face slowly and stopped crying. Some how, she knew her baby girl was okay. She breathed in slowly and sighed, wishing her baby girl was still beside her. 1212
Honest opinions please! Be critical!
Comments
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wow.... I want part 3!!!!!!!

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cool
loved it very creativebeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You have to read Part 1!!
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