Free Write

So anyway this guy walks up to me DID YOU HEAR ME!!! He walks hup to me and he says he says how are you1

But I don't know the guy; kind of don't so I look the other way but he still keeps bothering me with stuff he wants to bother me with and I can't find a way out and you know; kind of get a bit suffocated by him hanging around me like this asking me all these questions he should not care about, but he does, and I am stuck with this pain in the ass guy, who asks me all these questions2

I want to kill him but I couldn't really do it, but I would not help him out if he was dying, okay I would, but you get me. I mean no one wants somebody like that around asking you all these questions you don't have any interest in answering. You just want to leave him there alone, but the problem is he keeps following you around like a dog, a dog a dog a dog a dog and you are never alone. Not one second. You hate going for poo poos because he's there and you hate looking in the mirror because he's there and you hate hating things because he hates them too.3

So maybe I am stuck with this guy who is asking me about these things, maybe he never will leave, maybe I have to smash his head in with one of those bricks. Maybe not? All I know is I don't want him in my life, but he wants me in his life and himself in mine. It is a nightmare I can't get out of. Don't you get I hate you? Do I have to spell it out? I guess I do. But you would still ask me those questions would you not? You would.4

So I run everytime I see him. And he runs after me. And I increase the speed. And then he does too. And we end somewhere on the highway. And then this truck hits him and he dies. And I cry because I lose a friend. And I hate my self.5

Then I watch TV. Not really much to do in life you know. Whatever you do, you die in the end, and that's it, so you have to live in the moment. Funny thing.6

Zebras are white AND black, how about that? They are really boring to look at, I don't get the endless enthusiasm given to them, I mean if I was a zebra I'd jump of a cliff with head first, hoping that my guts flew a long way away. Zebras zebras zebras zebras parasolls too are boring I can't get the enthusiasm for parasolls they are sooooo boring everything is right now I guess got to find something more interesting to talk about, but I can't I can only think of hamsters, bananas, oranges, cows, milk, stop it.7

Here we go again stupid song get it out of my head there it went away my head is so empty right now yet I am still writing maybe I should stop but I don't want to I don't need to IT'S A FREE COUNTRY8

At least it was and is and will be in the nearer future but who really knows? A stalker? Or Kennedy, who by the way is extremely dead right now, and has a moon called up after himself, no he doesn't but that was what came down my fingers can't be stopped I am typing typing typing arrrhhhh tHIS is not right stop typing or write about tigers9

ok10

So tigers are red, maybe white, bit blackish and they like bushy areas and attacks people only when they are faced with their backs against the tigers, so they are kind of pussies but they don't look like ones. I like tigers better than lions because lions I don't know, they are not tigers, after all. Give me that.11

How about that I stopped typing for a little bit and it felt strange I think I'm gonna sit here all night until I fall asleep or die dramatically with a spear through my chest or braincase just a figure of speech12

What???? I know this does not make sense and neither does it make tedious bags being sent all over Africa with airplanes and still; here we are, no one can say anything else except for those who do, ironically13

Yeah well what can I say rhinos are cute, no they're not so anyway here is a sample of some of the burning houses I have maintained in Europe, called the spanish now who would knock at the door at this very late hour of the day when the children are sleeping and I'm reading a novel by Gatsby the great poof from 1754, whom I hate, but don't really know anything about incidentally I doubt he was from 1754 sorry about that, let's proceed with this... eh something, as I like to call it or as Albert Einstein preferred to call it before he died of a massive stroke in his left lung in April later that day: "Hallo!" "Anybody there?!" Just the gardener, dear, and me. Oh okay, just checking how is the chess coming along it is very sick dear, I think it's gonna glide into a coma very soon if we don't do cucumbers in our dirty movies. Well anything for the chess and the yearbook.14

Two nights later Abraham saw an opportunity of a lifetime. Namely the elixir that would combine mankind and flat tyres, into one heavy mixture of large pieces of suburban asfalt and hangliders all over Asia, singing: "ching chong chinaman, ching chang ching chang chinaman!" And then there was the war. OOOHHHH it was a long war it just kept on for ever. First there was the first year of the war, and then the second and in this fashion it went on and on and on forever, in a rambling way, rambling like scrambled eggs or in that area of the hip injury. "Ping!" Pick up the phone! I have an appointment with honky-tonk today, Polly, but I have time about three seconds before lunch at the gladiator stage 15

Cool that's fine with me so see you later then yeah cool man, 'cause you know... you know! you know. And that's the postulate I have in order to form all the later sentences that in the end gave me that conclusion of which we just discussed. The one about yoghurt. Exactly, may I say sir you have a gift for remembering things, not only did you remember my conclusion you also cut my daughter into pieces with my toothpick which is quite remarkable if I may say so myself, or you could hear it from somebody else as well, Elvis for example he's a good guy a little bit short on adrenaline but elsely quite the man you'd want a comment from, and rhinos are cute no they're not but that's not the point you could score higher if you did not score so low as you did, you know you can't expect to get good grades by exploring sunbeams that's insane, that's absurdism itself, that's my grandpa with firm tits NO! it's not they wouldn't. Gosh, so why...Not invite them for dinner? They are a lovely couple and this is not at all cliche Shut up!! I want the following: CAKE and some steak. Not to much of a burried case though16

Life goes on, goes on(this is a song I'm making up) every day, what can you do, is it a question for two??? La li leiiii da rhaa taaa, oh whoooo whooo whooo is it, or iiiis it not, a question for me, a question for you, I love the weather, and violets are blue, and now that I made a mistake, I won't be fake! Won't be faaaaaakeeeee(high pitched)17

Da capo. And what more is there to write. There is more than meets the eye in this universe, for example, my pants met my legs this morning. However, so did my toothbrush. Long story short: Once upon a time there was a prince who dreamed of being strong like a bull and pretty like forests. But he was neither, and died of lymphoma. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA18

AAHHAHAHAHAHA. Stop pretending your laughing. No one believes you. No one likes you. In fact, those who DO like you, does NOT. How can that be, your analytic mind differs, but no one answers, no one wants to answer your questions they just avoid you and run away they are ignorant they are the scum that grows between your toes after you've washed them ironically that's what I told my four year old son as I tattoed his nose with the iron. He liked it I think even though he screamed for eight months after that. No break. I could almost not take it any more. But it worked out good in the end and everybody laughed at the zoo later that same evening when thinking about it, like... forever, you know.19

Kumbayah my lord, I hate the church it's so crappy I can't stay awake I want to molest the priest, but only in a gentle way, like I don't know buying the entire Saudi Aarabia. But I haven't decided yet. It's all about decisions in life. You can't go through life without making decisions, but I guess you couldn't. So there we are, at the brink of eerie feelings, and the jab in my back, probably my weird bird that I FEED sludge to. And so with all that said and done I think I will use a matchbox in order to say that now and again to the one and only purse I could swamp up right at the moment now; two synonyms god I hate synonyms get them away! If only so but that's not how it works around here, Muslim, only in Russia and the entire cosmic ocean. Oh what a great show that was, with Carl Sagan you know it was such a good program now they only put on crap I want to push the "Bomb the entire world and very brutally" - button and laugh while I do it, or not necessarily, I mean that's not really Part Of The Prompt. Good knight. That's really unfunny and yet these jokes are on my mind got to get them away, "Loneeeleee iss the naaaiighghht" air supply starting to like them oh why did I say that, really just two songs in reality, actually. So that is that I guess, and suppose. 20

Drum sticks=Drum steaks. No? Okay, just a theory. No need to bury rabbits in the desert, or live on the street. Crazy, is it not? You have five dollars, and If everyone used only once that amount of money on people that suffered, in the world, they would lose those money FOREVER. But it's just five dollars come on, be reasonable. I am, just saying you know, now with the crisis and all. What crisis? Gee, come on the one with blasting navy officers and all that. Oh yeah ten nights in Rome I saw that too it was really great even though the grizzly was poorly animated. Well why could they not just get a proper one? It would probably be much cheaper. They are extinct. Nono. Yesyes. This is year 2077. That explains a lot. I guess.21

No nothing is explained. The explained remains unexplained and the unexplainable keeps on staying late for bed, which is FINE BY ME! Why the idiotic big letters why not why not commas why? I get the point, well that's EIGHT POINTS! ding ding! what was that? It was the ding ding, the sound establishing that you, in fact, de facto, has as a reality, scored some points. Well...You're...22

Okay in my book. What book? It's an expression. Never heard of it. Haven't published it yet. Ah well then, okay, hrmh, well, fine. Got to adjust those tremendously tall wings now, me being an engineer and all. WOOOOOW you ARE thats cool I always dreamt of being one, but I didn't want to be one in reality, it was just a dream you know dreams are like that. They are so pointless LOL. 23

ROFLOLFROLFORLFOR24

King of the shrimps thats me. Oh who am I kidding crabs hate me. But life goes on it's snowing outside everything is becoming white-ish and I'm sitting INSIDE. Inside. WRITING. Well snow is snow and I am me, I mean come on I am not you, because if I was, i would not be writing this meaning I would cease to exist and consequently you too which is absurd and well frankly out of my leauge. Changing subject yes. Eating cranberries no. Good as they are though I haven't saved this yet kind of pity if I managed to remove this page then I'd probably sob in the corner for some twenty minutes, make myself a good, comforting, warm CUP! of coffee, get dressed and jump out of low buildings looking for crimes being done by almost old people.25

I would punch them in the stomach and they would fall to the ground. Shameless as I am, i would kick them on the ground, especially in their heads. And if they died I would turn myself in, stating I did nothing of those things I turned myself in for. It's getting late shit I've been writing for some time what if I was writing one word each second that would be like... a lot of words after three hours but Come on I won't write for that long Seriously if anyone is going to read this you need to stop but somehow I don't want to I hate vampire stories why are they so great why not meatball fragment -stories or dead Cambridge students, why zombies and vampires and werewolfs and pink clouds? They can't be that interesting come on I am living the life of a dust here no one sees no one hears only casserolls in my pocket and they are the only ones. The onnly ones. No one else will ever be as much as you were to garbage cans.26

Deposing your body was fun. It's all over the city, like the bubonic plague, only not as much a plague as not a plague if you catch my drift. I'M DRIFTING AWAY on a world of my ooowwwn. Oh yes I am the great pretender, just laughing and hey! There is my word limit Okay stop now I am over my word limit not much of a word limit is it? shut up, hey I am you in this text so my existence is really based on you so if you shut up I would have nothing for you to say "shut up" about. Alright. Will do. Can't do it. Guess it's hard for a drug attic. Now where did you learn to spell. In Vietnam? Ha. Haa27

haaaa. HAAHAHA. hrm ok HAHAHAHAAH.28

So this a poem dedicated to myself. It's entitled "It's entitled" funnily enough(what do you mean? YOU entitled it!)29

So here goes: Books are like closets30

Windpipes are like necks. And yet, I like spaghetti more than Joseph.31

That was my poem, and very well it was rather short but come on who wants to read anything long anyway? William Wallace? Yes. Oh. In that suitcase, here is the second part, entitled "The second part", not funnily enough(then what would make it?)32

The second time, we drifted apart, I left town for Wall-MAAART(falsetto) and I like spaghetti better than the lawn mower.33

Must say, the first one was more catchy. Yeah and so are yetis. But go on. Lawn mowers have no fit really: sorry. Must say. Well you did and I honour you for you true opinion, but let's not be like children this time; you go to the left, I go to the right. Our planet is a shpere so eventully we'll meet some day. Okay. Turtles does frogs sometimes. Anything else? My name is not else. No of course it's not I meant Sebastian. With the... Red pants and... colorful nostrils. Nice shot. But you were WRONG. DING DING34

Fifty billion points. That's a lot. Well depends. On what? Depends on how far fifty billion points will get you. Usually you have some figures of which you know the values, and of which you use to compare with other sizes. Yeah but fifty millions man that's like what presidents earn when they are retired. You're making no sense whatsoever. Blame it on the cranberry juice. I will and can use that against you. But I won't I mean heaven is basically waiting for us up there yeah you're right bye BYE lovE BYE bye HAPPINESS35

Will mr Keeri stand up? No he won't! Why not? His legs are disabled your honour. Well then he doesn't have to. Very low: "Bloody handicapped people with their disabled bodies and their prescious fangs running around on the moors with their spines all twisted and creepy." What was that your honour? It was my ear ring. Your ear ring! Yes, have you lost your hear-ring!36

Got to stop now. Second word limit reached. There. Finished. At last. Finally this is over with. No more of this senseless writing; essentially leading nowhere into space or near the cafeteria. And yet I watch the stars and ate ice-cream formed into shapes of Sylvester Stallone, who played Rambo and Rocky. Ha! They both start with R, how about that. It's like faith. I don't believe in it. Stupid topic. Farewell. And goodbye.37

Oh i can't even do a proper goodbye you like free writing don't you yes I do it sucks to read texts without commas yes I know what you mean me too,38

Oh my god it's been a long time now I can barely take it anymore my mind starting to think about magnetism and positrons, and whatever sesamy street's got to do with that my guess is nothing and let's leave it with that unless I don't. Yeah I know hard to follow up on this and banana peel is all there is in my life right now so I spread them everywhre and people fall on them and I laugh like a little child or I'm not sure but I used to as a child anyways. I feel like a child, but I am grownup, it's confusing I want diapers but I can't have them that's why I got a son clever isn't it? 39

YES, it is not.40

Now that sentence must be wrong. Leave it, Austin. Can't. Yes you can. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Okay I give up. No. Yes. Yes. Damnit, Austin! I tricked you! Well I'll be damned you are bread tea clever, Austin. No I am not. It was the cheapest trick in the book. You have a book? It's an expression. Never heard of it. Haven't published it yet. Ah. Polar bears are scary, though. NOT if YOU really get to know them. When you really get acquainted with them you'll find there is more to them. Like what? Well, like... Pieces of their souls. Who told you that; the shaman?! Yes. I have no idea, in all honesty. Polar bears got paws. True. One hell of an observation there. Thank you, and that is my conclusion and nothing gets in between that and me, except perhaps for the fridge.41

You like food. I like food. And I also like those pens you write with, those pens you know, where the ink seems like lasting forever. That I also like. I like tools and I like stuff that moves. For instance monster trucks and snails. And now the very last song42

Good byeeee! This is eaaaaaat! No more of meeeee! And noooo moooreee(staccato) of glacial tidings! Noooooo! NOOOOO MORE! No more of uuuuuuus! This is the eeeeeeend. The last piece of... Meeeeee! And the laaa-a-a-ast piece of craaaaab! I'm going to sleeeeeeeeep! Please do not... Wheeeeeeep! 43

Correct me if I'm wrong, Brian.