Huddled in a corner, tears streaming down my eyes as I ask myself why me? That is how my night goes. After I get no sleep, I go to school with bloodshot eyes. Teachers stare at me with sadness, disapointment, confusion, and worry in their eyes. They all wonder what happened to me. I used to be able to hide the pain, but now it just seeps through to the surface where everyone can see it. That is my life now, my miserable and failing life. My life hasnt always been like this, my life used to be good. I used to walk to school with the smile of pride on my face. I was a successful athlete, if things continued to go the way they were, I had a chance of ending up in the olympics for gymnastics. Everyone was jealous of me and why shouldnt they be? I had long silky blond hair, eyes as blue as the sky, and a sport I strived to the top in. I had tons of friends, and boys drooled over me. All of the teachers loved me, I was a top notch student who had the second best grade on the whole team. Every single person who knew me in the school, especially teachers, looked at me with pride. Teachers were proud to announce my name. I dont want to sound like I am bragging about myself, but I guess it doesnt really matter anyway, now that all of that is gone. I just wish I could be back to the way I was. I dont know who the real me is anymore, and I dont know if I ever will be able to say who the real me is. I am just a huge ball of confusion. I have learned to hate life and everything about life. All of my friends have left me because I am to angry at the world, but I dont know what else to feel. Everytime I try to feel happy, and anger just seeps towards the top. Why me?1
Comments
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moving
Sweetheart, your story is moving. One thing a writer must never do is shield his/her eyes from pain and sadness. You must confront it and understand it and then tell the story.
You need to use a spell checker.
) And each new idea needs to have a new paragraph. But this is a good try for your age. I like it
You tell me how you feel. This is called a personal narrative, by the way. It is about you, told by you.
One very good thing you did was to start and end with the question, "why me?"
This was not a story, as such, so did not have a plot, characters, or dialog. Maybe try a story with those things in it soon?
beginning: 3, language: 3, ending: 3, characters: 4.
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Hey everybody,
I would really appreciate it if you could comment my story.
Writing is the only thing I enjoy in life, and it would just be nice to know if I am good at it.
So is there anything you want to suggest?
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