White Letter: Chapter One

THIS IS A VERY OLD STORY AND NOT EDITED1

“Lane, you bastard! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Shea yelled. “Get the hell out of my bathroom!”2

As Lane backed out of the room Shea quickly slid the powder blue curtain back into place. Muttering to herself she finished her shower swiftly. Throwing her only option in clothing back on, she walked out of her security into the waiting arms of disaster.3

“Couldn’t you find something less shabby?” Lane breathed into her ear from behind, remarking on the worn robe. She could smell liquor on his breath. 4

“It’s none of your business what I wear. You have no right to criticize me. You’re the one that left remember?” She spat turning from his embrace.5

He nodded his head, letting his long raven hair fall over his eyes. The he place himself at the foot of her disheveled bed, facing away from her.6

“Damn him,” she thought to herself. “Why does he have to be so irresistible?”7

“What are you doing here? You scared me half to death!” Shea said aloud, angered once again at his nonchalant attitude.8

He slowly put his oil-stained hand inside his black overcoat and pulled out a pack of Marlboro Reds. Taking his time and frustrating Shea more Lane lit one. He heaved his tall burly frame upright and walked into the kitchen, flipping on the light as he went. “I thought you’d still be sleeping. Mind if I have some coffee?” Lane asked through a cloud of smoke.9

She glared at his back as he went about his business without waiting for an answer. She crossed her arms over her breasts and waited for him to finish. She couldn’t help but wonder what had brought him back to her in the middle of the night. She was not going to give into him again. History would not repeat itself.10

With a cigarette hanging in the corner of his mischievous grin he turned and put his mug on the kitchen bar. Leaning his tight stomach against the worn bar he whispered, “You know whey I’m here.”11

Shaking her head Shea dropped her hands to her sides and headed towards her coffee on the table. “I can’t believe you! How could you even think about showing your face in my apartment at a a…….” quickly looking at the click by the bed. “A quarter after three. After the way you left the last time.” She could feel her heart race. Could he really by here to get back together? He could still make her blood pressure rise. Just looking into those almond shaped hazel eyes made her knees weak.12

“I’m not here for what you’re thinking about.” Her heart dropped to her knees. “I’ve got a proposition for you, if you’re interested. And before you turn me down listen to what I have to say,” holding up his hand to stop her, “It’s about money.”13

“Nothing you have to say will change how I feel about you or anything you have to offer,” hissed Shea.14

“Not even for tow hundred a night?”15

“What do you think I am, a whore?”16

“Don’t be stupid! Just shut up and listen to me!” he barked.17

“I don’t know what you’re up to but I think you had better leave. Now!” Shea demanded. Her heart was pounding in her ears. How many times had she given into him she asked herself? Too many to even count, was the answer.18

“I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out.”19

“Don’t make me call the police!” Shea threatened.20

“With what, you finger or maybe a banana? You don’t have a phone,” Lane laughed.21

“The Martin’s do. If I bang on the wall they will.” Shea spoke loudly as she started walking towards the wall near the kitchen.22

“And if you yell any louder they’ll do it on their own without hour help.”23

Shea quickly closed her mouth not really wanting to bother the Martins at this hour and stamped off to the kitchen to warm up her coffee. Trying to control her breathing and slow her heart she counted to ten. She stirred her cream and took a deep breath. “What are you suggesting?” She whispered no longer trusting herself.24

“I was down at a place called Whisper’s Lounge. Do you know it?” Shea nodded her head slightly. “And Bailey, the owner, was talking about hiring a live gig for weekend performances. An the first person I thought of was you.”25

“How very kind of you,” she said dryly.26

“Watch the wise cracks or I’ll go somewhere else with this info.” 27

“Ok, finish.”28

“He wants to see you Thursday at ten a.m. If he likes you you can start that night. That’s why I came over so early. It only gives you tow days to get ready,” he explained.29

Shea could not find any words to respond. She took a sip of her coffee. The Whisper’s Lounge wasn’t too bad. It was clean and friendly. Shea had never heard about any police being called there. Unlike the biker bars Lane usually hung out in.30

“Well?” Lane waited. “I’ve left you speechless. That’s pretty amazing considering you always have something smart to say,” throwing up both of his hands in astonishment. “I give you the biggest news you’ll probably hear all year and you just stare at me dumbfounded. What kind of thanks is that?”31

Coming out of her confused state. “Don’t get all worked up! I just don’t know if I can believe you,” Shea said calmly.32

“Why not?” he asked defensively.33

Lowering her voice and speaking slowly through her teeth, “because you have given me nothing but broken promises and empty dreams. Why should I believe you’re telling me the truth this time? For all I know you overheard something totally different. Like they want a stripper not a canary,” she said, trying to get rise out of him.34

She could see that she had hurt his pride, but he quickly shook it off, like water off a duck’s back. “Give me some credit would you," Lane snapped. “Bailey was talking to me. He’s got a couple of other bands coming in after you, but you’re a shoe in. Once he hears you pipes he’d be crazy not to hire you.” Shea could feel herself blushing, unable to hide it from Lane.35

“Since when have you become my biggest fan?”36

“I’ve always liked your voice.”37

“Whatever.” She blew it off like it meant nothing to her. “Ten on Thursday morning. Ok, well thanks for stopping by.” Shea started towards the door determined not to let him see her excitement.38

“Hey, wait a minute. Are you trying to get rid of me?” he asked.39

“Yes, now please leave,” Shea suggested opening the door.40

Lane pulled himself around the bar, picked up his cigarettes and headed towards her. As he was about to walk through the door he stopped, turned to her and gave Shea his famous grin. Her heart started to melt. Lane reached around her waist and pulled her close to him. Her knees started to buckle as she felt his chest beneath her palms. His heart raced underneath her touch. “I’ll be back to collect what is due.” Then he bent his head down and brought his lips to hers and kissed her quickly.41

Before she realized what was happening, he pulled away and was gone leaving in his wake a sudden empty feeling. Shea slammed the door and leaned her back against it. She didn’t move until she heard his Harley roar to life and fade in the distance. Realizing she had been holding her breath she let it out swiftly and moved over to the window. She wouldn’t fell comfortable until she was sure he was gone. Looking out she couldn’t see any chrome reflecting in the sparse moonlight.42

Spilling coffee on her hand she saw that her whole body was shaking from excitement. Whether it was from Lane’s powerful kiss or from the prospect of a real job, she could not decide. She put down her coffee on the table and walked to her piano beside her stripped bed.43

“I should probably get dressed,” she whispered to herself with a dreamy look on her face. The kiss plus the news of a possible gig had left her lightheaded and breathless.44

***45

Opening he right eye Shea focused her blurred pupil on the clock. Jumping up, Shea was shocked to see that it read 9:00 a.m.46

“Oh my God, I’m going to be late. I’ll never make it in time.” Today was her audition. Shea was up late practicing and was exhausted and sore. Her arms and legs felt like ten-pound weights were strapped to each of them. Her mouth was parched, badly in need of a glass of water. Her eyes felt like little tiny pieces of glass were stuck in the corneas. In the course of two days Shea had not left the apartment or slept more than two hours at a time.47

Hastily throwing on the jeans and forest green V-neck sweater she had set out the night before. She headed out the door with one brown leather boot on and the other one in her hand. Bouncing down the hall on one leg Shea slid the other one on. Shea counted her money as she ran down three flights of dimly let stairs.48

“Just enough for a cab ride there and a bus ride home,” she thought, “but then I’m broke.”49

Stepping out into the sunlight she groaned. The clouds from last two nights were gone. Her head ached with every step. Digging through her purse she pulled out a pair of cheap sunglasses and swiftly covered her bloodshot eyes. “If I get this gig I won’t have to worry about being broke,” she sighed. “Taxi,” she yelled and waved her sore arm. Shea walked towards the curb as a yellow taxicab pulled up. As Shea stepped inside she smelled the lingering stench of cigarette smoke and sweat.50

“Where to madam?” asked a gruff voice behind the wheel.51

“Whisper’s Lounge on Fourth and Hatfield.”52

The cab pulled out into traffic with a lurch. Shea dug through her purse and located her brush. She pushed it through her thick red hair slowly, making sure she got out all the tangles. Her copper hair shone like fire in the sunlight. Slipping her hand back into her purse she found her compact and eyeliner. Carefully putting on her cover-up and eyeliner she sat back and waited. With that done she separated a thin section of hair and started twirling it around her fingers. She couldn’t help but shake. “I need this job,” she thought.53

***54

Sweaty palms gripped the doorknob of his temporary apartment. Stringy blond hair hung in clumps hiding his week and half growth of hair along his jaw.55

“Hey Mr. Smith!” called a voice.56

Mr. Smith gritted his teeth and took his hand off the knob. He lifted his head and looked wearily down the dimly lit hallway squinting at the hazy figure. “Hey,” he said with a harsh voice.57

A short man with a large belly hanging over beige trousers strode up and slapped the man named John Smith on the back like they were old buddies. John tensed waited to leap. 58

“Where’s my rent money?” asked the round man between a mouth full of fired chicken and crumbs littered the front of his white t-shirt. Grease stains covered half his clothing. His beady eyes narrowed while waiting for an answer.59

“Yeah, yeah,” muttered John. “I’ll get it to you soon.” John pushed at the door until it opened slipping in muttering, “yeah whatever.”60

Through the door the landlord yelled, “Today.”61

The man named John breathed heavily as he threw the deadbolt locked. Following that he drew the chain and put the only chair in the room under the doorknob.62

“Stupid, stupid,” he breathed. “Shouldn’t have been caught out in the hall.”63

He paced over to the window and gazed across the street at Shea’s apartment. He relaxed when he saw her rushing the room. He pulled out a Camel and lit it. He took a drag and relaxed a little more.64

He watched as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. He took one last drag, licked it on the bare wood floor and using a heavy booted foot put it out. 65

She’d be back, he knew. All he had to do was wait.66

***67

Standing at the bar talking to a tall and slender man was Eva, the owners wife. She was a short, pleasantly plump woman with a kind smile that made her brown eyes crinkle at the corners.68

Eva turned as Shea let the heavy oak door shut behind her. Out stretching her hand Eva squeaked, “Hello, you must be Shea Young. I’m Eva Bushing, Bailey’s wife. I am so glad to meet you.”69

Shea shook her soft plump hand. “Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late. I’ve been working so hard that I over slept. I hope this isn’t an inconvenience for you,” Shea stuttered.70

“Nonsense! You’re only a couple of minutes late.” Tossing her straight blue-black hair over her shoulder she gestured towards the stage, “Why don’t you go ahead and get set up and I’ll go find Bailey.” Eva smiled.71

“Ok,” Shea muttered. “Breath Shea, breath,” she said calming herself down as she watched Eva still away. Shea walked onto the stage at the far end of the lounge. She looked out and inspected her surroundings.72

The lounge was clean and simple with only the faint smell of smoke. Standing on the stage under the hot lights, looking out to the far right end was the bar where the reed-thin bartender was washing glasses. In front of the stage was wooden dance floor gleaming with fresh polish. She could catch the sweet smell of lemons mixed in with the odor of smoke. Soft lights uluminated the floor. “How romantic,” she thought. Scattered throughout the building were round Formica tables with tow chairs standing on top and one glass ashtray on each. One table had its chairs down. Shea figured that was where Eva and Bailey were going to be, so she would focus on that table.73

Shea closed her eyes, took a deep breath and ran her routine though her head.74

“Shea are you ready dear?”75

Jumping, Shea replied, “Oh yes, you gave me a scare.”76

“I’m sorry,” Eva said as she and a solid looking man walked onto the stage. “This is my husband, Bailey.”77

Bailey stood two feet taller than Eva’s four foot five height. Like Eva he had a kind face and soft, amusing brown eyes. His chestnut hair was curly, but not wild, cut at the nape of his neck. He was thick waisted and had broad shoulders like a football linebacker. They make an interesting couple.78

Shea extended her hand and replied, “Pleased to meet you.”79

“Pleasures all mine. Lane spoke highly of you.” Bailey said shaking her hand. Shea tried to hide the frown that came over her face at his remark. He didn’t seem to catch on.80

Bailey’s handshake was firm and coarse, Shea guessed it was from many years of hard work and long hours. But underneath she could feel the softness of a trusting friend. She felt immediately comfortable with this couple.81

Turning towards the bar Bailey bellowed, “Myles come her and meet Shea.”82

Myles set the towel and glass on the bar, ran his index finger and thumb down his walrus mustache and started over. He was in his late thirties and wore his blonde hair long and thick with red highlights, tied back into a ponytail.83

“This is Myles Warner. He works on Wednesday and Thursday nights. So he’ll be here for at least one of the nights you’ll be performing. That’s if you get the job,” Bailey pointed out, laughing.84

“Pleased.” Again Shea extended her hand.85

“Pleasures all mine.” Myles grinned and looked at her with cold, dead brown eyes while shaking her hand. 86

Suddenly Shea had a feeling of déjà vu. A flashback of her dream blinked before her eyes. She gasped as Myles with drew his slimy hand from hers. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she trembled in fear. Myles smile faded as he turned and walked to the bar. Eva and Bailey were already headed for the their table. Shea walked over to the piano and slowly sat down, visibly shaken. “Was it only my imagination?” she asked herself. Her breath drew shorter and black spots formed in front of her eyes.87

“Could I have a minute?” she asked. Eva nodded her head. “Pull yourself together,” Shea told herself. “It’s only a dream. Dreams can’t hurt you.” But the image of those eyes lingered.88

Pieces of her dream came rushing back to her. Singing on stage, someone watching, being followed from the bus stop, dead of night, foggy, slimy, sweaty hands grabbing her.89

The room stared to spin. The ebony and ivory keys of the piano were swimming in front of her eyes. She rested her elbows on her knees and covered her face. Shea slumped over and fainted.90

***91

“Shea, Shea dear, can you hear me?” a voice was saying.92

Shea could feel someone lightly slapping her left hand repeatedly. She blinked her eyes and squinted at the bright lights. Her head was spinning as she tried to sit up. Her stomach was about to repel all the water she had during the ride here.93

“Take it slowly dear. You gave us quite a shock. Do you know where you are?” a voice asked from the left.94

Shea turned her head quickly to the left causing stars to flash around her head. “Yes Eva, I’m at Whisper’s Lounge. I’m here for an audition.” After a short pause she asked, “what happened?”95

“You sat down at the piano.” Eva pointed in front of them. “All of a sudden you fell of the bench onto the floor.”96

Shaking her head, Shea pulled herself up and stood on wobbly legs. Eva took her arm and helped her onto the piano bench.97

“Do you remember why you fainted dear?” she asked.98

Shaking her head once again she whispered, “No, all I remember is sitting down. Then everything went dork. Eva, Bailey I’m so embarrassed. I don’t understand what happened.” Still shaking her head and looking at the floor, tears swelling up inside. “Please forgive me. Can I have another chance? I know I don’t deserve it but I’m begging you,” looking at both Bailey and Eva. “Please, I really need to finish this!” She was close to letting those tears take over.99

Taking Shea’s hand Bailey said in a low soothing voice, “I think I speak for both of us when I say that we’re not going to hold this against you. We understand that you’re tired.” Shea looked from Bailey to Eva, who was nodding her head in agreement. “Why don’t you take five minutes and get yourself together. Go freshen up. The bathrooms to the left.”100

Shea thanked him and headed for the ladies room.101

***102

Shea bent over the white sink and splashed cold water onto her flushed face and waited until the warmth left her cheeks. After a few moments she felt refreshed enough to look at her reflection. She dried her freckled face with the scratchy brown paper towel. Grabbing the sides of the sink she stared hard at her image. Bluish half circles brought out the blue in her eyes and her freckles pooped out. But the water had brought a little color back into her pale cheeks.103

To her awaken image she scolded herself. “Great start. They’re not going to give you this job. You can’t even get through an audition. What makes them believe you could stand on stage for five hours?” She paused, checked her face and hair. Then with a war to ear smile. “Because I want to, I need to and because I can.” And with that she turned and marched out the swinging door. Leaving the faint smell of cinnamon and bleach behind.104

***105

“Sit down, sit down. We don’t need to hear anymore,” Eva shouted and clapped excitedly. “You were wonderful dear.”106

“I agree,” Bailey laughed. “Now we need to go over a few things before we make a decision. So come, come sit down.”107

Shea stepped off the stage into the dimness of the dance floor blinking her watery eyes. She took a chair from one of the other tables near by and sat down with them, glad to be off her feet. The butterflies in her stomach started stirring her insides.108

“We just need the basic’s. A phone number, address, two forms of I.D. and a stage name if you’ve got one,” Eva asked, picking up a pen.109

“Ok,” she paused to think. “I’ve never really thought about a stage name. Hmmmm…I’d just like to be known as Shea Anne. I don’t want anyone to know my last name.” Shuffling through her purse she pulled out her I.D. “Here’s my social security card and my photo I.D. I don’t drive.” As she gave them her address she wondered how well she had really done, and bite her lower lip in consentration. Holding her breath she whispered, “I don’t have a phone.”110

“Well how are we to get a hold of you dear?” Eva asked alarmed. Bailey leaned back on his chair with a concerned look on his face.111

Shea looked down at her hands in her lap. Feeling the heat flame up in her cheeks she was ashamed once again, “My neighbors have offered their phone to me. Mrs. Martin is a stay at home mother. She’s almost always home and if she’s not they have an answering machine.”112

Looking relieved Eva asked, “Alright dear. What are their names and phone number?”113

“Tyler and Georgia Martin. Their number is 555-8948. They’re very nice people. They only ask that you don’t call before 6:00 a.m. and after 8:00 p.m. because of the children.”114

“Ok, we’ve got everything we need from you. We’ve got two more bands coming in so we’ll give you a call sometime this afternoon no matter what our decision is,” Bailey explained.115

“Thank you for your time dear. We’ll call you,” Eva put in.116

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Oh, one more thing if I’m home Georgia will come and get me.” At that she picked up her music and headed for the door into the unsuspecting world.117

***118

He hadn’t moved since she left earlier today. His legs had cramped not to long ago but he ignored the pain. Hunger gnawed at his stomach, but he wouldn’t move until she came home. Camel after Camel were smoked and discarded onto the already cluttered floor.119