Chance

The blue-on-blue light of Charlie's car radio read 8:48. Twelve minutes, he thought. He hadn't been this nervous in a long time. The windshield wipers were trying their best to keep time with his beating heart, but even on their highest setting, they couldn't match his pulse or the falling rain. It had been raining periodically for a couple of days, but even the sudden, heavy downpours and long periods of dark, dry clouds in between couldn't diminish his mood. He looked down the long stretch of Washington Boulevard in front of him, admiring the way the streetlights reflected off the wet pavement in an abstract distortion of red and green, like a Dali painting of Christmastime. He smiled to himself, pressing the "next" button on his CD player. His favorite song came on, "Remember to Breathe" by Dashboard Confessional. As his speakers spilled forth the familiar chords, he thought back over the past few weeks, and how everything had fallen into place perfectly, as though Luck itself was looking into Charlie's mind and making every little plan inside work out better than he could ever imagine.1

Charlie was in his second year of college, attending the state land-grant school with no idea what he wanted to study. All logical reasoning told him that he should be studying science of some sort, most likely chemistry, or maybe physics. In high school he was one of the top science students in the area, and had he ever applied himself, could have been one of the top in the country, or so the so-called authorities believed. The same could have been said for every subject, though, as he excelled without ever really trying in most areas of school. When he reached college, he found the same to be true, and his freshman year he put forth the minimal amount of effort in his classes, not because he didn't have time, but out of apathy. He was bored by most of the classes, and if something bored him, he wouldn't spend time with it. He realized after his first year, though, that history and related subjects bored him less than other classes, so he decided to take a few more history classes to see if it would make a decent major. However, he still had to cover other areas to satisfy school requirements, and it was in one of these classes that Charlie found the thing that interested him most: Rebecca. 2

Rebecca was one of the cutest girls Charlie had ever seen. She had strawberry blond hair that fell to her shoulders, and eyes the color of emeralds that sparkled like gems in the right light. When she first entered the room and sat a few seats to Charlie's right, he didn't think much of it. He noticed how pretty she was, and felt something odd in the pit of his stomach, but he always felt nervous when there was a pretty girl around, so he dismissed it and was quickly caught up in the professor's generic first-day speech. That week was particularly bad for Charlie. He learned his best friend would be leaving school to go somewhere closer to home after that semester. He also realized his other friends were going to be so busy with work and school that they wouldn't be able to see him much. As the week went on, Charlie started thinking about ways he could pass the time. His thoughts kept going back to the pretty girl he had seen in his literature class. He couldn't remember her name, but made a point to catch it in the next class. She wasn't the most drop-dead gorgeous girl Charlie had ever seen, but there was something about her that captivated him and held his thought. After the second session of the class that week, Charlie made sure he took note of her name. 3

The end of the week came, and Friday night Charlie went to see a couple of his friends at their apartment. "The Harem," as his parents termed his group of female friends, consisted of Moe, Eggo, and Jenny. Charlie rarely used someone's actual name, preferring to give all of his friends their own nicknames. He had known all three girls since high school, and was largely responsible for their living together. Moe, who's real name was Mollie, and Jenny had been friends since childhood, but Eggo, who's real name was Megan, had gone to a different school. When they all went to the same college, Charlie had introduced Eggo to the others, since she had always been a little shy. They quickly became friends, and when Moe and Jenny decided to move off campus their second year and needed a third roommate, they asked Eggo. Having three of his best friends in one apartment made Charlie's social life much easier when the girls weren't busy, and it allowed everyone to get caught up on each other's lives at once. The girls were watching TV when Charlie arrived, and he took his customary place in the middle of the couch. The girls all told Charlie about their first weeks, and how busy their classes were going to keep them, how much work it was going to be, and asked how he was. He told him his classes seemed pretty easy, which didn't surprise them; Charlie usually thought everything was easy. Then he decided to tell them about Rebecca. He didn't know why, but he had the urge suddenly.4

"There's a girl in my lit class," he remembered saying, "and I think I'm gonna try to go after her." The words had surprised even him; Charlie had never exactly been bold or outgoing, but when it came to girls that weren't his friends he generally did his best ghost impression, trying to simply blend in and say nothing.5

The girls all looked at him incredulously. Jenny was the first to say something, never being one to hold back what she thought. "Did you say what I think you just said, Charlie? You're actually going to pursue a girl that you don't know, without someone helping you out in the background?"6

Charlie shifted at the question. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I want to, I plan on it. I just want to get to know her better is all. She's adorable, and seems like she'd be really nice. I don't really know what I'm gonna do, though. I'm not exactly one to just start talking to people."7

The girls had all kinds of suggestions for what Charlie should do, but when he went home that night, he wasn't any closer to figuring out his approach. 8

When it was time for his lit class the following week, Charlie had grown no closer in his plan to approach Rebecca, but had grown much more confident that he wanted to get to know her. Opportunity presented itself when Rebecca accidentally knocked her backpack out of a chair while getting her stuff for class ready and spilled its entire contents on the floor. Charlie leaned over to help her gather her belongings without thinking, and was slightly surprised when he realized it was Rebecca's voice saying "Thank you so much, I can't believe I did that, I'm so embarrassed." Charlie glanced at her and gave a weak smile while mumbling "No problem, it happens to everyone." He handed her the last couple of books, Salinger's Catcher in the Rye and Kerouac's On the Road, and she thanked him again. "My name's Rebecca, by the way." Charlie was slightly shocked, but realizing luck had given him a chance, he smiled and replied, "I'm Charlie. It's nice to meet you. I noticed you have On the Road there, it's a great book. Do you have to read it for one of your classes?"9

"No, actually," Rebecca answered. "I heard somebody in one of my other classes talking about it. They made it sound like an awesome book, and like it's one of those everyone should read, so I picked it up. You say it's pretty good?"10

"Yeah, I love it, it's one of my favorites." Charlie was amazed at how easy it was to talk to her. "I've read a few of his books. A lot of them are actually connected and about the same people, but his publishers made him change the names in them all. If you wanna follow the story from beginning to end, you should start with Maggie Cassidy, it's about the author in high school and his girlfriend. It's probably my favorite of the ones I've read."11

"You must be an English major," Rebecca said.12

Charlie chuckled uncomfortably. "No, actually, I haven't picked one yet. I've been thinking about History, though. I just get bored and read Wikipedia articles a lot."13

Rebecca laughed. "Well that's one way to learn. I know most of the professors say it's a bullshit source, but I think it's more useful than most of the stuff they make us read."14

"Yeah, I think so too," Charlie agreed before the teacher cut him off, beginning the day's class.15

Over the next couple weeks, Charlie tried to talk to Rebecca if he saw a chance to do so. He was terrified of coming off too strong, or as creepy, or anything else that would make Rebecca think him weird. He was beginning to get to know her, slowly, and based on what he did know about her, thought she was one of the coolest people he had ever met. He definitely wanted to get to know her better, and preferably outside of the classroom. He wasn't sure how to go about it, though. He thought about asking her if she wanted to grab some coffee after class, but decided it would just become awkward since he didn't like coffee. He racked his brain trying to figure something out, but couldn't think of anything. He had almost given up on the idea, resigning himself to only talk to her in class and just wonder "what if" when the perfect opportunity came around. While waiting for class to start one day, he noticed Rebecca was intensely studying a chemistry book. "What chem class do you have?" Charlie asked.16

Rebecca looked up, slightly startled after having been concentrating so hard. "Oh, 100, the basic stuff. We have a test tomorrow and I just cannot get this stuff. I understand the concepts and stuff but all this balancing equations crap just doesn't work, I can never get the right answer."17

Charlie though for a moment, then scooted over to the seat next to her. "The trick is to figure out a way that works for you, regardless of how they tell you to do it. Once you do that, after you get the answers you can work backwards using the way you're 'supposed' to in order to show your work. It takes a little longer, but it's much easier. Here, let me show you how I do it."18

Charlie helped her work through a couple of problems before class started. When the professor walked in, he started to get up to move back to his seat. Something made him hesitate, however, and instead of moving back, he pulled a very un-Charlie move and simply grabbed his backpack and sat back down next to Rebecca. She looked at him for a moment then turned back towards the professor, who was talking about their reading of Much Ado About Nothing. A few minutes into class, while the professor was writing something on the blackboard, Rebecca leaned towards Charlie and whispered "Thanks for helping me with that. I'm still not sure I get it, though. Do you think you could meet me in the library tonight and show me some more? I hate to ask, but I really need to pass this test and you seem to know what you're doing."19

Charlie's heart exploded into a pace Michael Johnson couldn't have kept up with. He didn't feel like he could manage words, but somehow managed to whisper back "Yeah, sure thing."20

"Great!" Rebecca replied. "Thank you so much. What time is good for you? Is 9 ok?"21

"Yeah, that's fine," Charlie said.22

"Awesome, thanks so much."23

They sat in silence the rest of the class as the professor held an open discussion about the text, but that was probably for the better. Charlie didn't think he would've been able to manage say anything else anyway.24

When he got home after class that day, Charlie began freaking out. He wanted to make a great impression on their first meeting outside of class and had no idea what he should wear to look his best without taking it too far. He called Eggo to see if the girls could come over to help him. Moe and Jenny were at work, but Eggo knocked on his door about ten minutes later.25

Eggo looked around the living room, where about a dozen shirts hung off the furniture, like an extreme, clothes version of Persistence of Memory. "Jesus, Charlie," Eggo said as she took off her rain boots, "did your dresser explode?"26

"No, I just can't decide what to wear," Charlie explained.27

"Why don't you just wear what you've got on? It'd be a lot easier, you know," Eggo teased as she picked up a polo. "What the hell is this? I didn't know you owned anything other than t-shirts."28

"Well I keep that around for like interviews and stuff, but I was thinking maybe wearing it tonight. And I can't wear what I've got on, it's soaked from walking around campus in the rain today," Charlie explained.29

"No, no, Charlie," Eggo said, half-amused and half-frustrated, "if you wear a polo when you don't wear one on a regular basis, it'll be obvious something is up. And who cares if it's wet, you're just helping her study, it doesn't mean anything, she just wants to pass a test and recognized the fact you're great at everything."30

"Maybe not to you, and maybe not to her, but to me it does, it's a chance to try and impress her. And you never know, she had to ask me for a reason, she could've gone to the study center and got help," Charlie said. He held up a green shirt. "How bout this one?"31

"No," Eggo said, "that's your Power Rangers shirt. Screaming 'I'm still 5' isn't going to help you. Anyway, that could've been her plan until she realized you're Captain Chemistry."32

"I'm not Captain Chemistry, I just get it easily. But the fact is she didn't go there, she asked me, and now it's on me to help her pass her test and make a good impression." Charlie held up a blue shirt he had bought at an Early November concert. "How about this one? She told me she liked it once."33

Eggo sighed. “Well I’d say that would make it a good bet.” Everything was silent for a minute while Charlie changed shirts. Then Eggo got up, saying, “Hey, I gotta go, I’m supposed to meet a guy from my class at a bar. Have fun being a tutor.”34

“What? Oh, well, alright, have fun and don’t do anything stupid,” Charlie answered, picking up the unused shirts from his couch while Eggo put on her boots. She stared at Charlie for a moment before opening the door and walking out. The door slammed shut. “Damn wind,” Charlie muttered to himself. “Shit, tennis shoes or sandals?”35

Charlie sat in his car, waiting at a red light. He glanced at the clock again; it read 8:53. He sighed, nervous and excited. His windshield fogged up from his breath, but the defroster quickly took care of it. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror. I wonder if she likes guys with brown eyes, he thought as he turned into the library parking lot. His nerves were shot, and he took a deep breath. He had a good feeling, like someone was helping him along and making sure everything would work out, and as he turned his car off, got out, and shut the door, a strange confidence came over him he had never felt before. I’ve got this, he thought, and walked towards the large double-doors that would lead to his destiny.36