We move on to the poker round, best hand wins their freedom, the other loses their life. There was one extra card in the deck that the dealer wouldn't allow us to play. Neither of us knew what card it was or why we had been forbidden to use it. 1
I stared at my hand, and picked out my best option, a full house. A pair of tens and three Aces. Damn good, I'd be surprised to see him top that. We stare into each other's eyes, this is life or death. An inmate's last shot at redemption, in a game of cards. Sweat drops accumulate on his cheeks and tears start to drip from his eyes. He sees the calmness and confidence in my eyes, but he must keep on moving, and praying to god that I'm bluffing. We have no chips, there's no point in betting, it's time to reveal our cards. He has a three of a kind, Jacks.
I let out a relieved, victorious laugh and show my hand, full house, two tens and three aces.2
The dealer picks up the single card that had been laying flat down on the table. He puts it in his pocket and pulls a pistol out from his dark green suit. He presses the gun to the temple of the man across the table. I hear the click of the trigger, and I close my eyes in horror, the fire goes of and I flinch in my seat and as I slowly reopen them, I see a dead body being dragged out of the room, the Ace of Spades stuck to the side of his head. There's a trail of blood running down the man's body as he's dragged off to the incinerator. But why the Ace of Spades?
Author notes
This was for a prompt and the object I chose to write about was the ace of spades playing card.
A contest entry
- Story Contest #6 (Random Objects) by VelvetWings.
300 points, ended November 11, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hello and thank you for the entry to my contest.
I liked your story, though I felt the punctuation was a little off in places. You might want to try reading your story aloud to yourself to see if you can catch the mistakes. In the last paragraph you have "the fire goes of" but I think your "of" should read "off." Other than that I didn't catch any errors.
Your story was tense; it feels as though the whole thing is a climax.
I once heard that the Ace of Spades was a symbol of death. I don't know if that's true but I thought of that when I read your story.
Thanks again for entering and good luck!
~Sparrow
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cool
if you elaborated more and gave some more details i think this would be even better
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He has to fold, -> would someone fold in a life or death game?
If you hear the click of the trigger what else do you hear? Is the man praying? What about the gunshot or the thud of the body falling?
I do like this piece and think you can polish it up to make it more powerful. Good stuff.
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