It’s all about me!

Wow, here I am already to go and tell you all, how great a person I am, and worrying how the hell I’m going to fit it all into 500 words. But, now I don’t know what to say or how to start it.1

What I can say about me is that I try to get along with most people I meet. I notice some of the strangest things; for instance:2

I’m out with the lads and a really pretty girl comes in and we all notice her. The conversation goes something like this.3

“Did you see that? Wow she had really good tits!” and then I say 4

“Did you see the size of her feet? She’s got really small feet!” the lads look at me as if I’m from Mars.5

Another thing, I’m pretty straight talking; please or offend I tend say what I’m thinking. It doesn’t always go down too well. The older I get the less tolerant I seem to be getting as well; which rubs against the grain a bit to what I said; 'I try to get on with most people.' This is because bureaucratic ‘Jobsworths’ and over officious people are the ones who will end up receiving the rough side of my tongue as well as the ones who won’t help themselves and expect everyone to do it for them. HELLO; WAKE UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELVES!6

This will make you laugh; my Mother in law thinks the sun shines out of my arse! I must be strange! 7

As a husband and a dad, I like to think I do reasonable job around the home. I’m fully trained chef, I do house work washing, ironing, vacuuming. I’m, a dab hand at DIY, a keen gardener. I hunt, fish, I even make my own wine.8

So far reading this back I think I’m pretty ordinary.9

I worry about if I’m a god guy or not. I have all the usual money worries and day to day dramas of life. I sometimes lie awake at night and have silly little things going through my mind. I think a lot of people think I’m a pretty tough character when they learn of some of the things I’ve done and been through. The fact that I can come across, as emotionally flat and seemingly uncaring; probably reinforces this picture they have of me. The real fact is I am quite a sensitive person in private. I have a public persona that I project that is one of confidence and robust in nature. I think the trade off for this is my sensitive side that I let very few see.10

I thought by now I would have bored you all with telling you how brilliant I am. And as much as I would like to bullshit you all and say;11

“Hey look at me aren’t I cool, I got this and that and I’m just dandy!” I can’t.12

I’m just complex; even I don’t understand me at times! 13