1
Un-expected2
The pain was searing, hot. 3
There was blood, I never expected blood. 4
So many thoughts raced through my mind.5
Remembering school, growing up, falling in love...6
my wedding day.7
As another sharp pain shot through my body I wondered, 8
would I live through this?9
The doctors and nurses were busy trying to stop the bleeding.10
One nurse kept calling "Stat!", as she yelled for various medications.11
"Soon" my mom whispered, as tears ran down her worried face.12
I closed my eyes and bore one last, agonizing pain...13
I saw my beautiful baby girl 14
before I closed my eyes for good.15
16
Author notes
Sad, but what came through my mind. 100 words even
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Thank you my friend. I always enjoyed doing these short writes. A wonderful mental and creative challenge. Thanks again for the kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Awesome story, Lady. And congrats, that does deserve to win!
Very well written. -
I enjoyed this challenge. To use few words to say many things is indeed a feat. Thank you for giving me the motivation to improve my abilities through this challenge. Thanks again also for such warm words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
You were able to pass through so much emotions with just 100 words. This story is sad and yet has a beautiful feeling, painful but beautiful. To show so much suing a limited space requires talent, here you have shown that you have lots of talent!
Thanks and all the best to you! -
Jack,
Thank you for the great comment. Sad that even today something as magical as childbirth can still be so dangerous to some women. I thank you for seeing that. Your comment was kind and truly appreciated.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you for such a kind comment. I am glad you enjoyed.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Ahhhh you have much in common with my son. He is the only boy with four sisters. LOL. You have wonderful perspective in life for it I am sure. Thank you for the kind words. I do appreciate them much.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
this is a very emotional poem..you capture the true danger of childbirth..absolutely great..Jack
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Stunning
This is so sad and tragic. It's beautiful, the way the pain seeps through every word and every line, yet te end seems so peaceful and true. Amazing -
Nice!
well as a man, I can not completley understand the child bearing experience, but at least I have heard it from my mom and five sisters, and my mom almost died once giving birth to a stillborn baby...I think you have described it quite well, without wasting to much words, and that is really great. nice one! -
I am happy that your ending was better than the writes. Thank you so much for the kind words. They are indeed appreciated.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
words cannot describe the beauty of this write... I have a child myself..and I had complications in my labor that were life threatning.. it was 'unexpected' and this piece almost brought me to tears, it was wonderful... BRAVO!
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Thank you so much. When I decided to enter this contest this was the first tale to pop into my head. Recent events in my life have brought forth this sadness, only reversed. Thanks again for the great comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Hi, this poem hits hard at ones emotions, a sadness that has happened a lot of times, the thing that touched me is she saw her daughter then slipped away, very touching and heart rendering, a good write with great feel,all the best, Di
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Thank you so much. It is hard to pen a good tale in only 100 words. I adored the challenge. Thanks again so much for the kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Woah! Now thats what you call touching, i could see it happening in my head so clearly...excelent write...i loved it, keep on writing!
Allie xxx
xxx
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Another great work my dear friend. Let's the best win. Good luck!
~Sonja~ -
Thanks again Anne. I do appreciate all your kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you so much for the kind worrds.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Very touching
wow i'm just seeing u everwhere today
that's just weird
anyways that is only 100 words wow
seemed alot more to me
but that is a very good poem -
very well written
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Thank you Amber. I saw a contest for 100 word writes and had to enter. I have two others, if interested, called "Upon A Star" and "Love Is Blind". They were a fun and fantastic challenge. Good to see you hun, and so many thanks.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you. I penned three one hundred worders for a contest. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you Jenn. Good seeing you again hun. Hard to decide what to pen in merely 100words. LOL. Thanks again.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
oh my god..this is so touching. You always convey so much emotion in your work, this is a masterpeice!..
Love,
Amber -
That was a beautiful poem. Really deep. I really like it!!
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Ooooh
beautiful and touching...
♥ Jenn
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