Driscoll is a prosperous nation with all manner of goods and people flowing into it’s capitol and other port cities, but the emperor wants more. Faolan has always dreamed of expanding his empire. Now he has his sights set on Nahlisa and Elimael, two nations to the south made weak by a ten-year war. All that lies in his way is the forbidding mountain range known as The Drazan, but he’s determined to cross it by raising an army of mages.1
Nola was born with a twin sister, but her entire family was put to death for helping runaway slaves flee the country. Now all she has left are her studies. She’s determined to become the best mage in the empire, but it’s not easy. Ever since she witnessed her family's deaths at the hands of soldiers she’s suffered from blackouts.2
Ciara doesn’t want much out of life. In fact, it’s not even her life. She’s been sitting in a corner of her sister’s brain ever since she died ten years ago, a silent observer waiting for her twin to blackout. Such moments seem rare enough to Ciara, but she’s still managed to juggle two jobs that give her access to information just in case the soldiers ever decide to come back for her sister. Ciara would do anything to protect her twin, even if it means joining a plot to overthrow the emperor in an effort to keep him from raising his mage army.
Author notes
A Note on Pronounciation: When creating the nations of this world I based the names on different origins for each country. Unfortunately, when creating Driscoll my Irish roots decided to show themselves. If you've never had the opportunity to study Gaelic you may be unaware, but it has some unusual spellings. As a result I'm going to include a pronounciation guide here and in any future rounds should I be lucky enough to advance that far. If you have anyone has any suggestions for alternant spellings that would be easier to pronounce I would appreciate your ideas.
Driscoll: driz-KULL
Faolan: FOWL-ahn
Nahlisa: nah-LITH-uh
Elimael: el-ih-MILE
Nola: NO-lah
Ciara: KEER-uh
A contest entry
- New Worlds {ROUND 1} by CallMeWhenUrRich.
225 points, ended December 31, 2009, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
-
Very interesting synopsis. I love the idea of Nola's twin sister still hiding somewhere within her, and I love fantasy as well. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
-
-
Thank you. I wasn't very sure of the synopsis, but the idea is something I've been working of for a while.
-
-
If it's a ten year war that has been raging on, and the emperor has had these hopes for so long, why would he need to raise an army of mages instead of already having an impressive amount built up (he seems pretty full of himself, so he'd demand being powerful and respected to me)? It seems he might have been considering that idea for quite some time already for him to wait that long in making a quickly trained army. Why wait to train someone quickly and poorly instead of having powerful muscles built up over time so he could be ready to strike when they were at their weakest? That treacherous mountain seems like a formidable enemy though with all sorts of potential as to why it's so daunting, I'd like to see this story but it has some explanation needed or tweaking.
-
-
Thank you for the comment. It's definitely a still developing story so I appreciate having things that I might have missed pointed out. As for this particular issue, Faolan rules mostly through fear. He has a powerful military in place, but he doesn't really trust mages. He's paranoid enough that he wouldn't have a standing mage army for fear that they might turn against him. He's also not in too much of a hurry since the war between Nahlisa and Elimael doesn't show any sign of ending and the longer they fight, the weaker they'll get.
This was meant to be a short synopsis so there were things that weren't included. Again, I apreciate your interest and question.
-
Adding your comment:
