Drunken Fool.

Hope?1

What hope? Why were you naïve to think that things would change? Why on earth did you keep hope, that she’d be different? 2

Why did you let yourself fall into the trap of actually letting yourself feel again? Let the bitch do all that to you all over again?3

You bastard. You deserve to hurt as much as you are now, you’re the one who claims no one can blame anyone else for life, and you know it, therefore its all your fault she’s hurting you. Its your fault that she’s like this, its your fault for pushing her away and its your fault for not being fucking good enough for her to want to be there again.4

Its all leading to the point where it’ll go astray again, and you’ll settle for another pathetic agreement, just so she’ll talk to you again. And you tell the others, that they shouldn’t bother when someone does this to them, and you let her do it to you all the time. You’re just wrapped around her little finger, aren’t you?5

You fucking hypocrite.6

Why did you do it? Were you not sure of how much it would hurt? Did you miss that emotional pain? You sadistic little freak. Did you want it to hurt like this; did you want to ruin your perfect day, with the likes of her inside it? Why can’t you let it go, why do you keep bringing it up? Are you that stupid that you can’t get over it? 7

She hates you. So move on. 8

But you won’t let yourself do it, will you?9

You’d sit there, and kiss her fucking shoes, if she said things would go back to normal. You’d sit there and talk for hours on how you are at fault, how you’re so sorry, knowing you didn’t mean a word of it, but you’d do anything in the world to get back to that point in time. Did you think she’d stay? Yeah?10

Why?11

Always gotta have the last word, don’t you? Don’t you bloody cunt? You just need her to tell you that life is pathetic without her, you want to beg her to be your friend again, and you’re weak, you’re weak, don’t you know that? You’re still hell bent on hurting her as much as she’s making you hurt right now, and has ever done. 12

You still want to rub in how a good a time your life is, so that she won’t know you’re falling to pieces without her. More emotionally then anything else, but you won’t let them see that, you’ll pretend that heaven is on earth before you’ll admit she was right, that you need her like a junkie needs his next fix. You’re not afraid of what the drug is doing to you, you’re just scared it’ll end all over again. 13

It could kill you and you couldn’t care, because that’s how much you’re affected by its side effect of friendship.14

You can deal with the bitchyness, and the hate but the lack of friendship drives you insane.15

Because you poor deluded fool…16

You actually thought, proper friendship existed, didn’t you?17

You poor, poor sod. You got sucked into that whole “I’ll never leave you routine” didn’t ya?18

And now you want me to tell you, that she won’t let you down, don’t you?19

Pick yourself up you fucking fool, stumble on, and drown that last pint, making you too numb to feel and by the morning, you won’t even remember this battle with your conscious.20

You’ve passed out, congratulations. 21