Love Is The Movement 3

Eric ~*1

I threw my bag down as soon as I stepped in the door of my aunt’s apartment; I needed to find my meds right now, before I go insane.2

“What are you doing rumbling around in everything? What the hell are you looking for?” I turned around, my hands still wrist deep in a drawer, trying desperately to find my bottled sanity.3

“Meds, my meds, where are they? Where,” I started, feeling my chest tighten up, oh God, not now, “I need them.”4

“Yer meds, you mean them pills in that orange thing? Check in there,” she said, throwing her arm in the direction of the pantry before walking off.5

I yanked open the pantry door, my eyes scanning nervously for my medication, I finally found them, grabbing them and trying desperately to open the bottle. 6

Once I got it open, I quickly put 2 in my mouth and swallowed, moving over to the fridge for something to drink, finding only orange juice, which I hate. I reluctantly swallowed it down, grimacing at the pulp, and at the pungent taste.7

I collapsed against the fridge, relief flooding over my body, as well as relaxation. I leant my head back, smiling to myself, and letting my thoughts drift back to my first day at school.8

Of course my first thoughts were of James, and how nice he was to me. Then they shifted to what’s his face…Devin, he’s really…intriguing. I really wanted to get to know him better.9

I grabbed my shit and went outside, looking around and trying to figure out which direction to go in. 10

I closed my eyes and started walking, and continued to walk in this direction, trying to remember how to get back home. 11

After walking for a while, I thought I should turn back, but I had completely forgotten which way to go. My mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of James and Devin that I completely forgot to pay attention to where I was walking.12

I stopped, rubbing my forehead and trying to think when I was knocked to the ground, and I opened my eyes only to have my anger fade when I saw it was James.13

“Oh shit, sorry man, I didn’t see you,” he said, reaching his hand out to help me up. I wrapped my arms around myself, not sure of what else to do.14

“Hey! Eric what are you doing here? It’s nice to see you,” James said as he half smiled, looking me up and down, “it’s kind of weird though, gotta say.15

“Yea it’s pretty weird for me too. I got my meds, so I decided to take a walk. Where do you live?” I asked him, and he turned, pointing out his house to me, and I nodded in response.16

“What about you? Where’d you move to?” I turned around, looking behind me and trying to figure out where the hell I lived. I shrugged, giving up as I felt an embarrassed smile come over my face.17

“I don’t know, I’m pretty lost. I’ve been wondering around for what feels like hours now,” I said, laughing nervously.18

“Do you at least know what street you live on? Cause I can probably help you get back there,” he smiled, looking me up and down again. The way he was looking at me made me feel entirely excited, and I couldn’t fight the shiver that went through me as well.19

“Uh, Raymond drive? You know where that is?” I stuttered eventually. 20

“Yea, it’s not too far, maybe 15 minutes? You seem a lot calmer than at school, by the way,” he replied, showing off another one of his adorable half smiles.21

“Yea, I finally got my meds,” I laughed nervously, “I feel so much better now, I can’t even explain it.”22

“You look it,” he responded, as he started to walk in what I’m guessing was the direction of my house, “come on, it’s this way.”23

The silence that fell between us was kind of uncomfortable, not one of those perfectly amazing ones you read about in books, and hear about in the movies.24

“So…what’d you and Emily talk about today when you two went off together?” I knew it was a little bit personal to ask since I’d only met him that day, but I was really curious.25

“I don’t know…she wants to get back together,” he said, surprisingly, “but I’m not really sure if I’m up for it.”26

“How come?” As if I wanted them to get back together. 27

“Well, been together three times already, and I’m sure the fourth time won’t be any different, and I really don’t want to set myself up to get hurt, you know?” 28

“Of course,” I said excitedly, before I caught myself, “but maybe this time would be different?29

“Yea…that’s what I’m thinking, but what if I just get hurt again? She’s broken my heart three times already, and I don’t know if I’m ready for a fourth time,” he said sadly as he looked at me. God, I wanted to kiss him so bad.30

“Yea, I know what you mean,” I said softly. My head was swirling, there were so many different thoughts going through my mind. What if they get back together? I think I love him…God what am I saying? This kid is definitely going to drive me crazy.31

“So how many girlfriends have you had? I’m sure in Oregon everyone wanted you,” he said laughing. I laughed uneasily, truth was, I hadn’t had any girlfriends.32

“None,” I said, pausing as his mouth dropped open in disbelief, “James, I’m gay.”33

“O-oh,” he said, he seemed to be caught off guard, but it wasn’t a bad one I supposed, “that’s cool.”34

“I guess,” I said, shrugging, reading into his response entirely too deeply, “I’m guessing you’re straight, right?”35

He shrugged, making my heart speed up, “I don’t know, I’ve hooked up with guys before, but never had a serious relationship with one.”36

“Oh sweet,” I responded, earning myself a raised eyebrow from James, shit. I’m pretty sure he knew that I wanted to hook up with him.37

“What? You think cause I’m bi I’m gonna hook up with you?” I looked into his silver eyes, looking into the underlying playfulness.38

“N-no, I just think that’s cool, that’s all,” I stuttered. Why the hell did he have this affect on me? He’s just a guy, what’s wrong with me?39

“Okay,” he said, I knew he didn’t believe me, but I didn’t really have anything to say to back myself up, because it wasn’t completely false.40

“So…how many guys have you hooked up with?” I was genuinely curious, and I didn’t really know what else to say.41

“Uh…maybe 3 or 4, I’m not exactly sure. Not that many though. And I don’t do those drunken hook ups with people I don’t know,” he replied, smiling slightly.42

“Oh nice, heh, I don’t do those either,” I said, looking away from him momentarily before turning back, “I like to hook up with people I know, so I know what I’m getting myself into.”43