Closure

'I'm leaving you, Tom.' The words rang through my head like the bad news you hope to never get, the kind that twists your stomach into a knot and won't relent. 1

'I'm leaving you, Tom,' the revelation of all the words saturated in her lies. 2

'I love you' meant nothing...just a filthy, deceitful trick to keep me yearning, and for what? What kind of parasite sucks from you the very motivation of your heartbeat? 3

'Why?' I asked. I had to know. I was, after all, under a very different spell of understanding. 4

'I've met someone else, Tom. Goodbye.' Nothing. I could say nothing, and even if I had the words, I had not the time. She hung up before even uttering one final breath after that last 'Goodbye.' The woman I chose to love, whom I gave my heart and soul, could not even allow me the chance at a last word. Not only did she reveal her treachery, she confessed her thoughts that cut me to the very core of my being. She did not even grant me the chance of returning to my feet to regain a portion of my dignity...just a dial tone.5

I hung up the receiver.6

I sat on the couch, listening to the growing, raucous nature of the silence, the belittling taunt of a quiet absence. I had no concept of time anymore. Forever was just a dirty word people threw around like waste. How could I have been so naive, so blind to it all?7

I walked up the stairs to the roof of my apartment building. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and a few clouds were stretched across the horizon like cotton sheets, yet still, it was storming...all I felt, saw, smelled and tasted was bitter rain. It was not the soft, sensual rain lapping at the daisies of a summer field, but the black, ominous drops of treachery and lies stinging on my heart like dull, ruthless needles.8

I walked to the edge of the building, staring at the traffic below; so oblivious they were. I let my foot dangle on the side for a moment, feeling the lack of support beneath me, the breeze tugging at my shoelaces, the frays on my jeans slightly dancing in the wind...and then I leaped. The air engulfed me, cradled me as I soared, relieving me of all morose sadness and woe. My adrenaline burst inside me like sparks, and my heart beat more powerfully than even before. I had never been as alive in my entire life as I was at that very moment. Overcome by an intense, surreal feeling of peace and freedom, I opened my eyes as the hot pavement slapped my face.9

I told her I could never live without her, that "til death do us part" held true even before we were bound in holy matrimony. I could never lie to her, and I could never lie to myself. The least I could do was keep my word.10