I Counted All My Blessings; Now I'll Count This Curse.

Right now I would like nothing more than to die a slow and painful death. There is nothing I can do to stop the pain that is eating away at me from inside my chest; or the feeling of nausea that is building up in my throat and stomach. I swear to you; This is the end.1

I should be used to this. But how can you get used to being alone?2

It just hurts more and more every day.3

I gave myself to you; and the funny thing is; I didn't care at the time. But months later I can't help having all these feelings when I'm around you.4

But as if you'd give a fuck.5

I don't know why this always happens to me.6

I won't pretend to smile; because inside there's a dark void that is slowly expanding. Needless to say; It's taking over me.7

I was never special enough.8

I have never missed you so much. I thought I was over it a long time ago; but its getting harder now. I guess I couldn't keep you out of my thoughts forever.9

I wish I never missed you; or told you that I loved you.10

But I'm still here waiting for you; with only one way to get out.11

Looking over the edge now; I see my escape. Its nine stories down but I'll make it there fast.12

The only thing left to do is jump...