A Real Princess -Chapter 1-

This is not one of those stories you start with, ‘Once Upon A Time’. In this story, there is a princess, and since every princess needs a prince to have a ‘Happily Ever After’ ending, I really doubt this story will have a nice, happy end. 1

This princess doesn’t comb her hair while looking outside the window of her tower, smiling to the horizon, waiting for her knight in shining armor, nor she sleeps peacefully expecting her prince to kiss her awake.2

No, this princess sits on a corner of her cold bathroom, with a razorblade between her fingers, and tears running down her face. Her Dark Knight long gone, blood streaking down her arm and pooling on the floor.3

This princess isn’t like the ones in those fairytales our moms used to read us before going to bed, those beautiful damsels whose worst problems were her prince being a bit late to rescue her. 4

No one was there for this princess, she had no one to rescue her from the flames of the mighty dragons, only, these were not dragons, they were demons. Demons that learned to live in other people’s bodies and minds, and made them go insane and try to hurt the princess. 5

Frightened and alone, the princess had to learn how to survive on her own, no friends, no princes, no knights. She was alone in this Non-Fairytale world she liked to call ‘Reality’.6

She threw the razor across the room, leaving a small trace of blood on its way to the door, where it got stuck on the white wooden material.7

“Fuck!” she cursed to herself in a whisper, she’d cut more than she had intended to. She looked around, trying to find something that was not as white and polished as cocaine. Everything in this house seemed fragile and clean, too clean.8

“Damned razor” she cursed again, she took off her black t-shirt and wrapped it tight around her left forearm, grabbed the bottle of bleach from under the sink and started pouring it on the floor, she had to kneel down to clean the blood away, her black jeans were going to be completely ruined. 9

After she was done with the floor she picked up the razor from the side of the door, it was sticky; she rinsed it with water and pushed it deep in her pocket, 10

“I’ll see you soon partner,” she said to the air, of course, those words were meant for the razor, her one and only friend.11

She slowly opened the door and peeked out, it was dark, probably one or two A.M, she ran across the room and grabbed her pajamas, then ran back into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She stripped off her clothes, which were soaked in blood and bleach; the knees of her black skinny jeans were now a dirty white, just like really old underwear.12

She got in the shower and for the first time since she’d had that sudden need to let everything flow away, dared to look at her arm.13

It wasn’t as bad as she’d thought, just a little more than she’d expected, but it was necessary. The wounds were open and sore, the old scars were angry looking, old, but still scary to look at. At least the new wounds were tender and pink. They seemed to have a mind of their own, one little piece of her that was alive.14

The hot water from the shower was making the cuts sting, but she did not care. She felt a jolt on her arm each time a hot drop caressed her freshly open wounds, it felt exciting, alive, truly alive.15

She sunk down and sat under the now cold water, feeling each tiny droplet on her forehead, arms, legs, and just her whole body. She just sat there, and felt. Oh, how she missed feelings. Those, which came by themselves, not the ones she had to force, though those were the feeling that kept her alive. Each time she got to feel something…living, somewhat made sense. Even though she was alone. And even though she had no escape. Each of those feelings kept her, alive.16

O.K, so she wasn’t TECHNICALLY alone, she lived with her stepdad and stepbrother, her mom died a week or two after she remarried, and her real dad, well, he just wasn’t there. 17

The princess in this story has a name of course. Her name is Aiden, and yes it sort of sounds like a guy’s name, but it is her name. Aiden, only 15 years old, but she acts as if she was ancient. With her long black hair with her bangs, all the way up to her nose, pale white, skinny and short. Her gray eyes match her. They make her look beautiful and unique.18

Her stepbrother is the closest thing she has to a friend –besides her razor-, his name is Jamie. Jamie was only two years older than her, and they went to the same school. He has blond, shoulder-length hair, he wears it with pride, he is a guitar player in his band, ‘However We Die’ Aiden adored the name, she could have joined the band, she was an amazing singer, but she did not want to give away the one thing she had. Her voice. 19

Aiden is not what you would call talkative, she is very quiet, Jamie respects that, even though he's begged for her to join his band, she had a pretty amazing voice, but she would only sing for him, and for Randy of course, but he is long gone.20

She was now sitting on the edge of the bathtub, with a towel wrapped around her. Her wounds had stopped bleeding and the feeling was gone once more, she looked at them, ‘What if I put alcohol on them?’ she thought, ‘that way I could feel it again, for a couple of seconds, but that’s enough’ she mulled that over, stared at the first aid box and shook her head. No, it was not worth it, she would reek of alcohol afterwards.21

She stood up and walked towards the sink, she grabbed its edges with both hands, her towel fell to the floor, she looked at her reflection on the mirror. ‘Horrible’ was all she could think. Even though she was lovely, 22

It is hard for her to remember when she started hating herself this much, maybe when her neighbor abused her at age three, or maybe when her dad called her for the first time to tell her that she had ruined his life, when she was ten. Or maybe, just maybe, the day Randy died because of her, just four months ago. 23

Randy, was her best friend.24

Randy, was the only one who understood her.25

Randy, was the one person who took care of her.26

Randy, was her true love.27

Randy, was the one who stopped her from cutting.28

Randy, was now dead because of her.