Lilith was sick and tired of being everyone’s doll. The one, who everyone walked on, cursed at and tortured. It had gone on long enough. She knew if she kept going under, she would never resurface. Her life had become nothing but a dull ache in her chest. She longed to be free of the heavy weight within. Staring out the window she held the knife in her hand. The blade pricked her finger, a droplet of blood fell on to her white window sill. She watched as her neighbor walked into the house next door. The neighbor that had deceived her, pretended to be her friend. It was time for revenge.1
She stood up from the window seal, gazing at the sharpness of the blade. She could just imagine everything in her head. The way the knife would slowly pierce her skin, slicing away to her last mortal breath. A smile played on Lilith’s lips. How she longed to watch that bitch die. She looked in her mirror, the reflection of a battered and abused young woman stared back at her. From the outside, Lilith seemed quite normal. Her hair was a deep shade of black. The long mane hung mid ways down her back. Her eyes were a shade of blue, the purest color, just like the ocean. Her skin was as pale as the winter snow. Some had referred to her as Snow White. She had rolled her eyes, saying they were crazy. Snow White was a fairytale and she was anything but. 2
In real life, she knew there were no fairytales; no happily ever after. The only thing in real life was pain, suffering and lies. She had once been a happy child, until she was constantly tortured. She had been ridiculed in school by bullies, ignored by her parents and then tossed around like a play toy by her supposed friends. She had no friends now. Friends were useless. The only thing a friend had ever done for her was hurt her. Now she was beyond repair. No one could save her now, and she didn’t want to be saved. All she wanted was for them to suffer like she had.3
Lilith walked down the staircase and out her front door, going next door to the neighbor who had betrayed her. The neighbor who said she was a friend. She had told Lilith to come talk to her about anything. She had even lay in bed with her, and told her she loved her after they made love. The very next morning, the neighbor had told Lilith’s parents everything. She even said Lilith forced the sex on her. It was time for her to pay, and she would pay dearly; with her life. Lilith kicked in the front door. The knife glistened in her hand as she stepped forward with a smile. Today would be the day when every last one of them would finally pay…!
Author notes
A very short story for a contest. Who knows, maybe I will add more later. Right now, it's just a random short piece to vent. Guess this is what happens when you listen to "Going Under" three dozen times straight. 
A contest entry
- Anything dark!!! by RazorbladeKiss14.
230 points, ended October 6, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Hack me, stab me - kill me. by E Ardania.
260 points, ended October 16, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short Stories... by lesbian-in-love.
575 points, ended November 2, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stories by Glitflyer.
190 points, ended October 29, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments are always welcomed... *Smiles*
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I think its nice.. Though not realy my type..
I like the metaphors used.
Thnx 4 entering...
But the thing is i want quotes..
Anyway, Good Luck -
This was a bit creepy. Though I did enjoy reading this. It was very well written. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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Wow, chilling! But I think it's way way way way WAAAAAAAYYYY too short.
It's a good thing though, for a reader to wanna know more. Also the only error I found is "window seal". I've always heard it referred to as "sill" though people pronounce it as "seal". Unless you're referring to the place the window actually seals shut in which case you win. Good luck in the contest remaining! -Liz
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Thanks a lot I'm glad you liked it. I was a little ticked off the day I wrote this. I needed a way to vent out some anger and... this came from it. I was thinking it should be the other way around, lol. Oops! Going to fix that
Joann
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You've written interesting story! Not exactly having the blood and gore and whatever else I wanted, but what it is leading up to makes up for it.
This would make a great introduction to a story that would probably be more suitable being longer, but that's just me. I do like how you've left it there, though, before Lilith begins the job. I also like the idea of a tortured soul being pushed to the very brink of clear thought and restraint.
A great job in general!
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wow I can really relate to this! And I love that song!!! ^w^ Your on the finalist!!!! ^w^
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I loved it.
Like the comment below, you used great metaphores.
You described her pain very well indeed and how that neighbour had used her then threw her away like trash. I liked how you made her seem like Snow White then move it on, on a next paragraph, that there was no such thing as fairytales. I really like this.
Good luck and I hope they certainly see this the way I do.
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Jordanne
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Thank you very much I was in sort of a dark mood the day I wrote this, and this is what came out when I started writing.
Joann
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First line that grabbed me, and was very real and actually made me feel it physically was: Her life had become nothing but a dull ache in her chest. Very good metaphore [sp?]
Engaing. Usually it is the spouse, or something similiar, but instead you made it engaging because not only has lilith had a sexual relationship and a friendship that has been broken, but the girl tattled-taled and lie about her, making lilith out to be some preditor.
The only thing I question is her age. You say she is a young woman, but how young 16-20?
Good Luck
You should continue to stream this out. Anger does wonders.
;3 Blair
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