Your eyes are like two soulless pits; leading into your nothingness
A blackened heart, with no thought to anyone’s pain but your own
Serpent’s tongue, abusing with ever flicker
Heartless and evil, you make me sick to even look at you
You mean nothing to me anymore
I see you for who you really are an evil sadistic whore
Lies, that’s all you spout from your lips
Tears are the only thing you’ve ever given to me
I’m so close to falling apart, drowning in my own pain
All because of you, you and your uncaring soul
How could I have been so blind to let you do this to me?
Why did I not see your true colors?
Maybe I did, I just didn’t want to believe I was right
You’re just like the rest of them, you never cared about me
Now it’s over and I hate everything I use to love about you
I hate your laugh, I hate your smile, and I hate those evil eyes that haunt me
One day when someone does you the way you have done me
I hope it is then you will get the payback you so deserve
Author notes
I wrote this poem earlier and then saw this contest. So, I decided what the heck, might as well enter it.
Not my best work IMO.
A contest entry
- Poetry vs. Short Story-Who will win? by deisasoluver.
140 points, ended November 13, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness and other sorrows.(poems) by Lies4Truth.
500 points, ends December 11, 54 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments are always welcomed... :)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Cool as!
I love the hate - it's so passionate and... bitter, as Lies4Truth said...
Well done.
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Great I love the anger here its very bitter. I enjoyed how angry the narrator was and how betrayed the felt. Wonderful Thank you for entering my contest

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First thing, I am glad you entered.
Second, this is a beautifu poem, also very sad and makes me mad about the girl. I can see why you hate her. You are very talented, I will say. I really enjoyed this piece of poetry.
Good luck in my contest.
Taylor

beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you very much!!
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I could feel the definate burning hatred, and deep desire to burn this person to the ground, It echoes through each sentence and is strong in language, so there is no holding back in this beautifully contructed poem. One line I absouloutly loved and connected with so utterly, deep with was:
I’m so close to falling apart, drowning in my own pain.
So many times, this year alone I have felt like that. It is a feeling that swollows you whole and is painful as it surges like acid through your body and eats away at you slowly.
Good Luck Sweets.

I think the best writing is that of raw emotion and that seeps through every word till the end.
1 - 5 of 5






