Ten Things I Hate About You

1. I hate that you always have to be the centre of attention. If we go to the cinema and, god forbid, someone other than yourself sits in the middle seat you throw a massive strop. Storm out and insist you’ll go and see another film, but you always come back after five or ten minutes and make us explain the whole film to you. Or if some of us go out without you, it’s practically the end of the world. And every single sleepover has to be held at yours or you’ll complain all night long. It’s so annoying.1

2. I hate the way that you will ignore me if there is someone ‘better’ around. If K. or B. are around, then I stand no chance at all and I’m sick and tired of only being your friend when it suits you. And then you have the cheek to accuse me of doing the same thing if my whole attention is focused on you and you alone.2

3. You copy my homework, my essays and all of my ideas just like back in primary school. I’ve resorted to covering up my work now and positioning my pencil case so you can’t see the work. 3

4. I hate that you are forever insulting my boyfriend. And for your information, just adding ‘no offence’ to the end of the insult doesn’t stop it from being rude. 4

5. I hate the way you will watch every TV show on the internet before it’s out here in the UK and then tell us everything that happens. The reason I don’t watch it online is because I don’t want it spoiled. So, when I ask you not to tell me, don’t.5

6. I hate the way you complain when I spend my free periods doing work rather than playing cards or listen to you rambling on about the latest crush of yours. Some of us have better things to do, you know.6

7. I hate that you have spent all of the money in your savings account (which is like £3000!) on shoes, clothes and DVD boxsets. You want to go to university so bad? Then try not spending all your savings on crap like that. You’re not the only one without a job. I cope, so you can as well. 7

8. I hate that you will not accept that I am friends with J. I know that in the past, you two have not seen eye-to-eye on everything – I get that. But you both agreed to be civil, now that I am friends with her though, all of the bad-mouthing about her is back. I can’t stand it! She never says anything bad about you, so why do you have to be so mean to her?8

9. I hate the way you complain about the music I listen to. If you don’t like it so much, why do you have to keep borrowing my iPod to listen to in your free periods? You could bring in your own if you’re that desperate.9

10. I hate that despite all of this, you are the only person in the world who I can legitimately call my best friend. You’re not always there when I have a problem, you’re not a shoulder to cry on when I need you to be and you’re never supportive of anything I want to do. But you sit with me at lunch time, and that’s more than I can say for most people at our school. So I will put up with it, at least for now.