Alive2
Book 23
Chapter 14
Alive5
I opened my eyes; everything was white and very bright,6
“Where am I?” I asked, God! I sounded dead! “Doctor!” I heard a woman yell, I heard someone’s footsteps and a series of loud gasps, I tried to glance around, but everything hurt, I tried thinking back, trying to remember why everything hurt so badly and why I wa… oh my god! 7
“Caitlin!” I screamed, I was furious, I now remembered what had happened, we had crashed, and I felt her letting my hand go… she couldn’t, she couldn’t be dead, I sat up, opening my eyes, I could see a couple of nurses, my parents and Caitlin’s, I felt a wave of rage running through my body, 8
“Where is Caitlin?” my voice sounded as if I were spiting acid, her parents looked down to their feet, 9
“The young lady?” the doctor asked, I nodded,10
“Yes, where is she?” I asked harshly, the doctor took a long breath, no! No, no, no, no! 11
“We…we thought you were dead, well, you were! And after she found out, she ran away” said the youngest nurse, she was alive! However, I know what she is capable of; I know what she's going to do,12
“When?” I asked bitterly, the doctor frowned and checked his watch, “like fifteen minutes ago” he said, I glance down, I could see I had a cast on my left arm, I seemed to be able to walk, my clothes were still on, full of blood and everything, though my arms were clean, I knew I had to find her, and I knew they would try to stop me, so I had to be quick, they were prepared to stop me, they knew I would run, I was quiet for a second, my shoes were nowhere to be seen. I made a run for it.13
I kicked the sheets out of the way and started running, I ran past my parents and Caitlin’s, they did not look mad, however, the doctor did, he tried to stop me but I dodged him easily, this was about Caitlin.14
I went to check the park first, since it was before her house and I think she would have gone there first, I called her name, but she was not there.15
I ran to her house, just before leaving the park I saw something pink, a bow, Caitlin’s bow, so she had been there, I took it and ran, I had her key in my pocket, thank god, I knew were she would be, I can imagine her, I unlocked the door, ran to her room, and just before opening the bathroom door, I heard her crying and sobbing, she was alive! I opened the door. 16
“Caitlin!” I yelled and ran next to her, almost slipping on the blood that was on the floor, she was bleeding a lot but it seemed as she’d just cut herself, I sighed, she looked up, 17
“That was fast,” she mumbled, I frowned, 18
“What?” I asked, she smiled and reached out for my face with one of her sliced hands, she brushed her bloody fingers on my face, 19
“death is peaceful, it didn't hurt as much, though it still stings, thanks for waiting Connor” she said, the closed her eyes, her hand fell from my face, I grabbed it, she jerked her eyes open, I kissed her fingers,20
“am not dead kitty, neither are you, the stupid doctor made a mistake, I can still save you” I said, I took my shirt off and ripped it, she stared at my body, frowning, I made a tourniquet on each of her bleeding wrists, then I thought about my options, I could call 911, hmm better not, I could carry her to the hospital, I noticed I had stitches on my chest, that’s probably what she was starring at, I frowned, I could call her parents and tell them to pick us up, yes that’s a good idea!.21
I took her out of the tub, she was soaked in blood, it was hard, only with one hand, and I could feel my stitches fighting the weight and trying not to rip open, I laid her down on her bed and called her parents, I told them everything, and they were on their way.22
I took a towel and sat next to her on the bed, I cleaned her arms to check for any other cuts, she would make it, she hadn’t lost so much blood, I ran and got her some water, she drank it, she didn't speak, but she stared at me, finally I spoke,23
“I know am beautiful but there's no need to stare like that” I said, she smiled weakly, she would pass out any minute, she grabbed my arm and pulled me closer, she started crying,24
“I thought I’d lost you” she said, I sighed, “I thought I’d lost you too when I came in the bathroom, it was the whole Roxanne scene all over again” I said, I looked at her and carefully wrapped my good arm around her,25
“I cant believe I almost lost you, right after you became mine” she laid her head on my bare chest, she kissed one of my stitches, I lifted her head and kissed her gently, I didn't want her to pass out, I didn't want her to close her beautiful green eyes, but she did, 26
“I love you,” she mumbled, and then passed out, I sighed, 27
“I love you too” I whispered, that’s when the door flew open, 28
“Caity!” her mom cried, her dad came and lifted her off the bed, “thank you” she said to me, 29
“you were in pain but you came looking for her, thank you so much” she said, I shook my head, “it was MY fault , I didn't care if I had to die, but she couldn’t die because of me, I couldn’t let her, I love her” I said, she cried, 30
“I know you do Connor, I can see the way you look at her, you truly love her, and it wasn’t your fault, it was her choice” she said, Caitlin's dad was putting her inside the car when me and her mother got downstairs, I climbed in the backseat next to her and I kept her in my arms until we got to the hospital. 31
Chapter 232
Awoken 33
It’s been two whole weeks and Caitlin was still in that stupid coma, two weeks! I’ve been living in that hospital for the past two weeks; I haven’t been going to school and am paying to stay in her room with her everyday, so I am literally living in here.34
I awoke that morning and cried, just like every morning, 35
“Why are you crying?” said a small girly voice, I wiped my tears and looked up, a familiar looking girl around 13 or 14 was looking down at me, she was an exact smaller version of Roxanne, I gasped, 36
“Annie?!” I asked, she smiled sadly, 37
“How come all your girlfriends end up like this Connor?” she said harshly, I knew why she was acting like this, she blamed me for her sisters death, when I’d met her she’d been really short and baby-like, right now, she looked just like Roxanne, same hair, same style, same attitude, that made me smile,38
“I really miss her you know?” I said, she frowned and sat next to me, then she sighed,39
“Am sorry, I know you do, and I don’t blame you anymore, it was her choice, you just tried to help” she said, sitting next to me, she even smelled like Roxanne, I felt the weird urge to reach out and touch her, I lifted my hand, hesitated then hugged her, she felt just like Roxanne too, she hugged me,40
“You look just like her, you feel like her too,” I whispered, and sighed, a tear escaped her eye, messing her make up a little, she looked cute like that, she pulled away, 41
“yes, but I am not her, I wish I was, its weird thinking that this year I’ll be older than she was when she died” she said, I looked up, 42
“Older?!?!” I asked, she nodded, 43
“You never noticed me because you were around her, she was only a year older than me, and I’m turning 16 in four months,” she said, my mouth was wide open, she was the same age as Roxanne when she died, she was only a year and two months younger than me, I glanced at Caitlin, then back at Annie, 44
“I know what you're thinking,” she said, I frowned, “do you?” I asked, then I smiled a weary smile, she nodded, she reached out and kissed me, she kissed me just like Roxanne used to, she bit my lips while she kissed me, gently but fast, it felt so good, I kissed her back, then I regretted it so much, in the bed next to us Caitlin was waking up, I pushed Annie away and went up to her bed, 45
“Caitlin?” I whispered, Annie got up, 46
“This will not be the last time you’ll see me, I came back for you,” she said, then left, I could not believe it, all those mixed feelings, I was completely ruined! 47
“Good morning love,” said Caitlin, I sighed, she was fine, and everything would be fine.48
Chapter 349
Her first and last day in school50
Caitlin was fine, the accident and her suicide attempt were in the past and no one knew about it, it was fine, life was fine, I had the best girlfriend, I was alive, and there was no sign of Annie what so ever, until next week when our lives got turned around, only for one day.51
1. Annie came into school.52
2. She told everyone about our accidents.53
3. She told Caitlin who she was.54
4. She kissed me in front of everyone – including Caitlin – 55
5. Caitlin almost killed her56
6. I told the police where Annie was.57
“There’s a new girl, another emo, but guess what! She's Roxanne’s sister! The emo guy’s dead girlfriend, Omg! Total drama in emo world” I overheard a girl in the hallway say, I could not believe they were talking about us! Why won’t they go stick their fake noses up somebody else’s
?! 58“Hey baby!” I heard Caitlin say, I turned around and there she was, my little piece of heaven in hell, I kissed her longer than usual, we had never made out before, ever, so I decided to try it, at first she was shocked but then she went along with it, I could feel her smiling, she was good, I wished we had done this somewhere private, not in front of Annie's class, she saw us, she came over and tapped Caitlin on her shoulder, that’s when heaven left me alone in hell and on the devils hands,59
“Do you know who I am?” she asked Caitlin with the worse attitude ever, making her pull away from me, Caitlin frowned, 60
“Yeah I do, your that new emo wanna be that keeps telling people you and my boyfriend are in love” she said, so she’d heard, Annie was actually speechless, people gathered around, I grabbed Caitlin by the waist, Annie didn't seem to like that,61
“well, am also your boyfriend’s dead girlfriend’s sister, and the girl he kissed the day you woke up in the hospital after you both crashed in the car, oh, and after you tried to kill yourself” she said, I could not believe her! The hallway was silent and the people around us were frozen. Caitlin smacked her on her face and the sound echoed all the way to the second floor. 62
“yes,” said Caitlin with tears in her eyes “and your also the
that ran away from her house to find some guy after three years and steal him away when he already has a girlfriend you hoe!” Caitlin yelled, Annie ran away from home?! Everyone gasped, how did Caitlin know this?63Annie was speechless once more, she came closer, pulled me away from Caitlin and kissed me, everyone gasped again, I pulled away, Caitlin pulled Annie’s hair, threw her to the floor, and she punched her on the face,64
“either you leave right now or I will call the police and tell them were you are, and if I ever see your face again, I swear over my dead mother, I will kill you, I don’t care if I go to jail, I will kill you!” Caitlin's voice was full of venom, Annie was paralyzed on the floor, she got up and ran away, later we called the police, and they found her and thanked us for the call. 65
Chapter 466
New feelings67
All girls at school looked up to Caitlin now, they thought what she did was very brave, they smiled at her and she smiled back. 68
That day we went to her house, as always, her parents were not there, we lay on her bed starring at each other,69
“I hate that
,” she finally said, breaking the silence, I sighed, 70“I know, and am really sorry, I did kiss her that day, but it was the shock that she looked just like Roxanne, am really, really sorry, you know I love you” I said,71
She nodded, she crawled closer and got on top of me, that surprised me, she was never that straightforward-ish, she wrapped her arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around her waist.72
She pulled really close and kissed me, just like in the hallway, sweet but passionate.73
She pulled one hand away from my neck, but keeping one on the back of it and not letting me breath, I did not mind, she put her hand under my shirt feeling my chest, I don’t know why she was so willing today, maybe the idea of losing me scared her. 74
She took my shirt off, that caught me off guard, we had to break the kiss then, to pull my shirt away, and to breath, 75
“What’s gotten into you!?” I asked, breathing harshly, she smiled and shrugged,76
“I want to try something…” she thought of a word, 77
“New?” I asked, I was breathing hard, her face only inches away from mine, she nodded,78
“Yeah, new,” she said, still smiling, “wow, how come?” I asked, she took her time, though she wasn’t thinking of an answer, that was obvious, I believe she was thinking whether to lie or tell the truth,79
“lately…” she started, “I’ve been feeling as, if I cant show how I feel correctly…like what I do is not enough, and what you do is not enough either, I want…more” she said , “does that make sense to you?” she asked, I nodded,80
“Yeah it does, I’ve felt the same, but I don’t want to move too fast, I would never make you do something you could regret later” I said, I knew I wasn’t lying, so did she, Caitlin played with my hair, just like the first time I was here, 81
“Well, how about you just go ahead and do what you feel like you want to do, and if I think it’s too much, then I’ll stop you” she said, was she really giving me this much freedom? 82
“Are you serious?” I asked, she nodded,83
“As long as I can do the same,” she said,84
“You can do anything to me, I will only stop you if it’s something that you might regret later or something that might hurt you,” I said, she kissed the end of my jaw line, 85
“I wont regret anything I do with you, and we have like seven hours before my parents come back, so…” she said, encouraging me to keep going, I kissed her, then rolled on top of her, she smiled into the kiss, she moved her hand to where my belt was, and she took it off, I was turning red because I was afraid of getting overly excited (
), I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. 86I hesitantly tugged on her shirt, she smiled and pulled away, she sat up and pulled her arms up then winked at me, I sat up, she was on top of me, I took her shirt off, leaving her in a really sexy black and red lace bra, she looked REALLY hot with that, I couldn’t help it,87
“You sure about this?” I asked, but I didn't really care about her answer, she nodded, she was turning red, I didn't know if she was embarrassed about showing her body or if she was getting turned on, I didn't care, I jumped on her, making her fall back on her bed, our bodies were pressed together and I would feel the lace scratching me, but I didn't mind.88
I was kissing her really hard, so at first I didn't notice when she unbuttoned my jeans, I blushed badly when I did notice, was she serious? Was she planning to go so far? She pulled away when she saw how much I was blushing, she smiled, 89
“You don’t have to” she whispered, I felt stupid, her accent was showing more than usual, that was so sexy! My best friend/girlfriend is on top of me, in tight skinny jeans and a black and red lace bra and is whispering in my ear with the sexiest British accent! How can I say no to that? I kissed her again, and she took my jeans off. Everything went like that for a while, kissing and taking clothes off, after that, we made love. It was amazing. 90
She fell asleep in my arms, I checked the time, we still had four hours before her parents came back, I would let her sleep for a while, I tried to get out of the bed but the movement woke her up, 91
“Hey” she said, she blinked slowly a couple of times, then cleaned her throat,92
“Are you running away?” she asked with a smile, I shook my head then kissed her forehead, “you can go back to sleep, I need to get dressed” I said, she yawned and nodded, then closed her eyes.93
Chapter 594
The notebook95
I looked for my clothes and got dressed, I walked around her room, and I sat at her desk, I found a drawer and tried to open it, but I was stuck, I pulled until I noticed it wasn’t stuck, it was locked, I looked around to see if I could find the key, I know I shouldn’t, but I was curious, I saw something shining next to the window, I got up and saw that there was a small key under a loose tile, that made me flinch, I took it.96
I sat back on the desk, I tried unlocking the drawer, it worked, I opened it, inside, laid the knife she had used to cut herself that horrible day and next to it, the notebook I had gotten her for her birthday all stained with blood.97
I knew it was wrong, but I opened it, I saw my note on the first page, then a poem in the next one;98
Weeping wrists99
My wrists cry red,100
Only ‘because my eyes won’t cry tears.101
I scream and scream,102
But no one ever hears.103
My hearts got a permanent scar104
Of which no one can heal,105
My eyes pour crimson, 106
Only ‘because my eyes won’t pour water107
My life in tatters, 108
Only ‘because you were taken away.109
I am going to the grave, to catch up to you someday.110
So don’t spill your tears over my weeping wrists. 111
What the heck? What is that supposed to be? When did she…oh god! She wrote this the day I found her! The poem is good, actually it’s really good, I felt tears running down my face, I looked inside the drawer, I saw her pink bow, also covered in blood.112
I was crying I flipped through pages; there were some diary entries;113
God I hate that hoe!!! She comes back after leaving her sister behind and pretends that she misses her like hell! She came to me the other day while I was drinking water, she just started
ing at me, she told me how she left her dad and her sister back then because she felt bad for her since she, and Connor “loved” each other,! Well, she can kiss my ! 114Oh! So that’s how she knew, god Caitlin sure hated that hoe, well, so did I, except for the fact that she looked just like Roxanne, I sighed. I flipped through pages, trying to find the newest entry; this one was the last one so I guess it was from yesterday; 115
I want to have sex with Connor. I don’t know how he will take it, I don’t want to look like a hoe or anything but I want to so badly! I just want him, I feel like when we kiss, it’s not enough, we haven’t even made out yet! Can you believe that? We have been going out for like almost two months, I know it’s a bit soon but I don’t care, he’s the only one I love and he’s the one I want, maybe he's going to think that its too soon, maybe it is, but next time we’re alone I’m going to make out with him, I guess that will lead to what I want, I’m a bit worried that I might get pregnant though, I don’t know why, but even though I know I cant have a baby now (I mean gosh I’m just 16!) I kind of want to, well I'm not sure if it’s the baby I want, I think I just don’t want to wait for anything, I wish I could just run away with Connor and start a family, just like he wanted to do with Roxanne. Well it’s a bit late so I’m going to sleep.116
My mouth was hanging wide open, I closed the notebook, put everything back in its place, looked the drawer, then put the key under the tile, I sat there for a while, thinking.117
It was nine, her parents would be home soon, I had dressed her while she was sleeping, she would wake up like at one in the morning or something.118
I grabbed a piece of paper and began writing;119
Kitty,120
I’m going home, so when you wake up I’ll probably be sleeping, pack your things, tomorrow nigh, we are running away, we will find our own place and we will have our own family.121
Love-Connor122
I left the note and ran home; I packed as much as I could. When Roxanne and I had planed to leave, I had stolen a LOT of money from my parents, and I had also saved some more throughout the years.123
I got all the money I had saved and put it in an inside pocket in my bag. I hid my bag under my bed and decided to go to sleep early so that I wasn’t tired tomorrow.124
I think it was around three in the morning when someone opened my door, it made a loud noise that woke me up, it was Caitlin, she came over the bed, trying not to make any noise, she climbed inside with me and hugged me.125
Caitlin's cold body was pressed against mine, she was really cold, I turned around to face her, 126
“Did I wake you up?” she whispered, I nodded,127
“It doesn’t matter though, what are you doing here kitty?” I asked her, then brushed a strand of hair that had fallen over her face, she sighed, 128
“You really meant that? The note, I mean.” She said, I nodded,129
“Now that I think about it, I didn't even ask you if you wanted to, so, do you?” I asked, even though I knew she would say yes, she nodded,130
“Yes, I do, I really do, but I know you read my notebook, I know that’s why you want to do this, to make me happy, but do you really want to?” she asked, I thought about it, spending my whole life with the girl I love, 131
“That’s what I want, I’m sure, and I’m sorry for reading your notebook, I was curious” I said, it was better to apologize while I could. She kissed me, 132
“Well, we should go now” she said, I looked at her, 133
“Now?” I asked, she nodded, 134
“We can go on a train, we can go far away, I have a fake I.D we can use it to buy the tickets” she said, that surprised me, I had a fake I.D too, it’s already packed, but I didn't expect her to have one, 135
“It’s okay, we can use mine, and I don’t want you to get in trouble if something happens,” I said, she sighed, 136
“Nothing will happen, we’re just two emo kids running away from home, adults expect us to do those things” she said, smiling, I laughed, 137
“But you want to go now? By the time you packed your stuff its going to be too early, and our parents might find us” I said, she got up, went to the door, and then opened it, next to her, a bunch of her bags were laying, I smiled, jumped out of bed and got dressed.138
Chapter 6139
Runaways140
We took a cab to the train station; I believe it was three forty five when we got there, we bought the tickets, we were alone, except for another couple, they looked a bit like us, but they were too far away to see what age they were.141
Caitlin and I sat down on a bench, our train was supposed to get here in about half an hour, one of my arms was around Caitlin's shoulders, both of her were wrapped around my hips, we sat like that for a while, stealing kisses from each other.142
Caitlin was falling asleep, when the other couple started walking towards us, she lifted her head, as they came closer, we (I knew Caitlin noticed too) noticed that not only they were our age, but they were like us too, I mean in style. 143
The girl had short blond hair with brown highlights, she was wearing blue skinny jeans and a cupcake tee, she was pale and had a lot of eye-makeup on, the guy was the same height as me, he had side bangs and his hair was spiked at the back, his hair was black and the spiked part was pink. He was wearing black skinnies and an ‘invader Zim’ tee.144
“Uh, hey?” said Caitlin when they got close enough, 145
“Hi” said the girl, “uh, my name is Vicky, and this is Derek…” she said, she sounded a little confused, as if she didn't know why she was talking to us, I waved,146
“I'm Connor, and this is Caitlin” I said, the guy nodded once, I nodded back at him, Caitlin smiled, her smile made my heart melt, it made me believe there was nothing wrong, she moved closer, making some space for them, 147
“come on, sit here, we’re probably the only people that might understand you right now” she said, that shocked me, she spoke as if nothing was going on, they sat, holding hands,148
“So, what's your story?” asked Derek, Vicky smiled, me and Caitlin exchanged a quick glance at each other, 149
“It’s a long story,” said Caitlin, they guy smiled, 150
“so is ours, but hey, we’re probably the only people that can understand you right now” said Derek, he grinned, so did I, I liked him, he seemed, fun, I never really had guy-friends, so it would be nice to talk to another guy for a change, maybe Caitlin should do the same, 151
“Well then, I guess we should answer a question that’s in everybody's mind,” said Vicky, Caitlin frowned, 152
“Which is?” she asked, Vicky smiled warmly, 153
“How old are you?” she asked, though she was also answering Caitlin's question, I smiled, 154
“That depends,” I said, Derek raised an eyebrow, 155
“On?” he asked puzzled, I grinned,156
“On how old you think we should be” I answered, he smiled and nodded, 157
“from now on,” he said, “we are all 18” he continued, “and no one is ever going to find out that we are not” he finished, we all nodded in agreement, and that’s when the train got to the station. 158
So off we were, next stop, Seattle, W.A. We would start a new life, with our new friends.
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