Stargazer and Charity-the dragon chroncles.... Prologue, part one, and part two

PROLOUGE: As the brilliant pink and gold skin of the dragon stunned my eyes, I felt a small nudge at my mind. Why me? I wasn’t a dragon keeper. I was a lowly cleaning girl who had just come to watch. But she had chosen me. The real dragon riders looked among themselves enviously, not knowing who the baby had bonded to. 1

“Who did she bond to?” one asked, voiceing the opion of many and the baby sqwaked. 2

‘Hello…my name is Stargazer. What’s yours?’ a small voice came in my mind. I gasped in shock and the awaiting dragon riders looked up at me. Stargazer’s beautiful intelligent eyes looked at me too, boring into my soul. 3

‘Charity,’ I thought back to her and Stargazer gave a small smile. The dragon riders wore mixed expressions of shock, horror, happiness and sadness. Stargazer would be one of the rarest dragons ever born and she had bonded me. 4

PART 15

It had taken years to come to these moments. And now, as the queen dragons eggs were going to hatch…the rare gold and pink baby girl…I would be on duty, as a cleaning girl. It was a proven fact that whatever living thing a dragon baby saw first and loved and cared about, they would bond to. Wild dragons often bonded to their mother, a brother or sister. For the domsesticated dragons, it was their handlers. Their keepers. The dragon keepers were raised, learning everything they could, before getting the chance as a 14 year old to bond to a dragon. From the age of 12 onward they even lived at the Dragon Center, which was set up with dorms, classrooms, egg centers, feeding rooms, everything a dragon keeper and dragons might need. It was really that simple. I worked as a cleaning girl at the dragon center, and it just so happened that today the egg was meant to hatch. A brilliant pink female, and a beautiful male had laid this egg, the keepers keeping it warm. It would be a once in a life time oppurtiny for them. To bond such a leader dragon…a queen. 6

“Hurry up,” my sister called impatiently. “I’ll be late on my date.” 7

I quickly double checked my blonde wavy ponytail, and grabbed my bag, racing down the stairs. 8

“Okay, have a good shift darling,” Mom called from the kitchen as Melissa practally dragged me toward the door. 9

“Hurry,” she wined. 10

Arriving, an air of anticipation and excitement surrounded the center. I quickly grabbed my mop and bucket, raising to the balcony above where the egg had been kept. Dragon keepers surrounded it as I pulled my mop clear of the bucket. 11

“I wonder,” Rose wondered softly. She had been my best friend since third grade Math class, and I was thrilled for her. Rose deserved to get this egg, she deserved to bond a dragon.12

“I’ll bond her,” Nathan said confindatly. I scowled. While we might be a small town, where all the kids knew one another, no one wanted to see Nathan bond the dragon-any dragon in fact. A crack took everyone’s attention back to the egg including mine. Then it cracked open…. 13

CHAPTER TWO14

The brilliant golden and pink skin overwhelmed everyone and enchanted us with a spell. Beautiful gold, with flicks of pink and a pink belly, intelligent eyes, soft little horns, the size of a small cat. She stumbled to her feet and everyone collected a breath. I saw the little dragon glance around the room, looking past me and onto the next dragon rider but she didn’t settle. I turned back to my mopping before feeling a soft nudge at my mind. A nudge that wasn’t there before. No, I thought to myself. No. Why me? I wasn’t a dragon keeper. I had been raised for common jobs. Why couldn’t it pick Rose then? I was just simply a lowly cleaning girl. The real dragon keepers looked among themselves trying to figure out who had bonded it. Finally the silence broke with Nathan, his voice filled with envy. 15

“Who got her?” he asked. The baby squawked looking at me and I tried to ignore her. 16

‘Hello…hello….hello, I chose you…I know you can hear me…My name’s Stargazer. What’s yours?’ a soft bell asked in my head. I gasped in pure shock, that it was all real and Rose met my eyes. Hers were full of confusement, which soon turned to joy. 17

‘Charity,’ I thought back. Stargazer’s eyes bore into me, intelligent and a stunning golden grey. 18

‘Charity…it suits you. Charity, can you come here? I’m lonely down here with these people. I don’t trust them. Many of them play horrible games that hurt others’ feelings,’ Stargazer said. A thought rang through my head. Rose had had in drummed into her that whatever the dragon wanted, the dragon wanted. I abonded the mop taking the steps slowly, still stunned. I met the shocked dragon keepers on eye level and I felt even worse. Rose however, ran over and hugged me. 19

“You’re one of us!” she squealed. 20

“How?” Nathan spat. “She’s a cleaner. Not a keeper. A stupid two bit bitch.” Unfortanly, he was standing within reach of Stargazer and her anger flared when he called me that name. She turned around and bit him aggressively, hard and I took a step back in shock. She shakily found her footing, making her way to me. 21

‘Charity…’ she sung and I scooped her up into my arms. Her eyes were full of love and where I picked her up, my arms burned furiously. It wasn’t an angry, furious burn you might get from a fire. It was a burn that said that what I had in my arms was a part of me. 22

‘Who’s that? She looks like a friend,’ Stargazer said, looking to Rose. 23

“That’s Rose. Rose, this is Stargazer,” I said aloud, for Rose’s benefit. 24

‘Hello Rose,’ Stargazer said. 25

“She says hello,” I told Rose who giggled. 26

“You need to get her into the feeding room and give her a bottle. From there, the captain would have come and check on us all. I’ll walk you there,” Rose said trying to calm me down seeing how stressed I was. 27

“Okay, thanks,” I said and Stargazer nuzzled me. 28

‘Are you going to take care of me? Forever and for always?’ 29

‘Yes Stargazer. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,’ I replied to her and she settled happily in my arms. 30

As I was feeding her quietly in the feeding room, her suckling on a warmed bottle of milk, a large, scary woman stormed in, the necklace around her neck holding a picture of her dragon-a beautiful bronze-blue male. 31

“Hello,” I whispered, Stargazer pressing closer to me. 32

‘She scares me a little. Is she here to take me away?’ Stargazer asked, worry and love filling her. It pressed upon me. I couldn’t let anyone take Stargazer. Even if I didn’t know much, I could learn and Rose could help me. It wouldn’t be that hard. Could it? I just knew that Stargazer couldn’t be taken from me. 33

“Hello there. My name is Casey Nightingale. May I ask who you are?” she asked. Her words were short and clipped, slightly pissed, but I knew she wouldn’ hurt me. At least not while Stargazer was with me. Stargazer rearranged herself, on my lap, sitting up and ready for a battle. I didn’t know what she was going to do though. She was only a new born. Maybe her teeth again. 34

“Charity Toya. And this is my dragon, Stargazer,” I said. I didn’t know why I put the emphis on my. Or even why I said Stargazer was mine. 35

‘My Charity. Tell her that you’re mine,’ Stargazer said furiously. 36

‘Stargazer, if you say that to her, we’re likely to be separated,’ I replied. 37

‘I won’t say that to Casey then,’ Stargazer replied a smug note to her voice. I didn’t have time to contemplate at what she might do because Casey spoke.38

“Yours hey?” Casey asked curiously. Then she laughed a moment later. 39

“She’s yours alright,” Casey said. Stargazer leaned further in to me with a small hiss. 40

‘What did you do?’ I asked. 41

‘I told her dragon. You said I couldn’t tell Casey,’ Stargazer said, her eyes adoring. I laughed, scratching her behind the air. 42

“So, you have no dragon keeper training, you just happened to be there and the princess of all dragons bonded to you. Not only that, but she is already fiercely loyal to you. Interesting,” Casey said surveying Stargazer. “Take a walk with me.” 43

I stood, Stargazer moving to my shoulders, her tiny, immature wings brushing my neck. I wouldn’t be able to ride her until I was eighteen, but the thought thrilled me all the same. As we walked through the halls, I could feel the awe coming from others. There were other teenage dragon keepers, their dragons with them, either by their sides or on theoir shoulders. And then a scream came from the incubator chamber. 44

“I got a sliver!” Rose screamed and I smiled. I was happy for her. Casey didn’t pay any attention, and kept walking until we were outside. Here, all the bigger dragons stayed and as Casey watched the skies, I watched a large male dragon fly in and land in front of us. The one from the necklace. Stargazer shied back into me with a squeak and I stroked her. 45

“This is Stormflyer, my dragon. Stormflyer, this is our newest pair, Stargazer and Charity.” Stormflyer smiled. He was the largest, the biggest, the meanest dragon in town-and no one ever messed with him. Even a commoner like me knew who he was. I gulped. 46

“Ahh, chill out. Now, you’ll have to move into our student dorms, and I’ll have the older students fast track you so you’re up to Rose’s class. I’ll assign you a mentor, and Rose and the mentor can help you out. That way, you can keep Stargazer,” she said with a nod. I nodded. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I hadn’t thought much past Stargazer. 47

“Thank you,” I said, gulping in the night air. My sister would be due to pick me up soon. “Shall I go home to fetch my stuff?” 48

“Yes, I’ll send your mentor with you once I organize him,” she said and I nodded gratefully. Stormflyer’s eyes were gentle, they showed compassion and genuine sorriness for Casey being so harsh. 49

‘Who’s our mentor going to be?’ Stargazer asked, nudging me. I scratched behind her ears as I walked toward the front of the building. 50

‘We’ll find out. I promise. Just chill,’ I said. She nudged me again as in unison, Melissa’s car pulled up and a man, probably in early twenties with a dragon the size of a horse walked out. He had soft brown eyes, shoulder length brown hair pulled into a tiny ponytail. He was wearing a coat that looked as thogh it belonged on a horse rider. And under any other normal circumstances, I would have thought he was hot. But not now. At least not yet. 51

“Hey. I’m your mentor Jesse and this is my dragon Mythcatcher,” he said, shaking my hand. Stargazer leaped off my shoulder and I yelped as she landed artistically on her feet like a cat. Mythcatcher bent down in a bow, with Stargazer imitated. I laughed joyously, only for that to be shattered by Melissa walking up and tapping me on the shoulder. 52

“Ahhh, can some one tell me what’s going on?” she asked, hands on hips. 53

“Ummm, kinda hard to explain. This is my mentor Jesse, his dragon Mythcatcher and my dragon Stargazer,” I said and Melissa shook her head. 54

“Nice joke guys. Now would Rose like to step out from behind a bush or something?” Melissa asked, rolling her eyes. It just so happened that at that moment, Rose ran toward us, out the front door, cradling her dragon. 55

“Oh good you’re still here. Look at the gorgeous little baby I got. Her name is Braveheart,” Rose said, looking at me with a grin. Braveheart was a sparkling sliver with a pretty green-blue undertone that reminded me of Rose’s eyes. 56

“Congrats,” I said, giving her a small hug. 57

“Okay, how did you bond a dragon? How?” Melissa said, taking a terrified step away. 58

‘Say that that thing isn’t related to you. Please,’ Stargazer said to me, climbing back up into my arms. 59

“I’m sorry. It’s my sister and I know, she is a thing isn’t she?” I said aloud, mainly so Rose and Jesse could hear it. Jesse rolled his eyes, muruming something in dragon to Mythcatcher that made Rose laugh harder. 60

‘He said that you can be such a bitch. But karma’s also a real bitch,’ Stargazer translated. 61

“Oi!” I cried aloud and Rose rolled her eyes. 62

“Chill. You need to go and explain things to your Mom. You know that. Jesse’ll probably fly am I right? And I’ll wait here until you get back,” Rose said. I nodded. 63

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • LittleMissFlirt
    October 13
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    hiya!

    I wanna know more!!pleez write more!I absolutly love it!!
    U got talent

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Hm. First thing I noticed was the large paragraph that could be broken down into two smaller sections.

    Try not to have paragraphs over eight or nine sentences. Generally, a paragraph details a short piece of a scene. Then you move onto the next paragraph.

    The story sounds pretty interesting. I wonder, though, have you taken ideas from the Dragonriders of Pern series, because there are many similarities.

    I enjoy dragon stories and this one seems to be headed for some interesting times. Keep working on it!


  • MeKaBa silver member
    October 12

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    Nice idea, reminds me of Anne Macaffrey though, you need to have a little background sometime to explain what kind of world it is. Doesn't have to be right up front but it is needed. They speak in modern language with modern conveniences tell how the magic and science work together. I agree skip the swearing dragons don't like it! All in all it is too rushed. I know you wanted to get to the action but good stories are about the feel as well and don't go overboard with descriptions either some people go on and on about the tress and clothes and what not...Keep at it and it can be worth reading.

  • I Write naked gold member
    October 10

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    a good idea i would suggest you flesh it out a bit more. I also think you should start a little earlier to show the reader more of the characters.

  • Saren silver member
    October 10

    Edit | Reply

    Very good idea

    This is a very good idea and has a lot of potential. You need to work more on your background to the characters and not rush through the story so much.
    We need to know why Charity is just a cleaning girl, why rose is a Dragon Keeper and why Charity isn't? How did they become friends? As you first chapter is much shorter than your second I suggest you put this in here.
    Also, spend more time describing the characters, ages, looks personality, a little background. I would also take out the swaering, it doesn't go with the story.
    Your prologue dopes not match the same passage in the chapter. Do you need a prologe?
    You also have some spelling errors which you need to check.

    The story is good though. I like the main character and the idea of the dragons has a lot of potential. You have also included a good mixture of characters and I like that there is a potential villian in Nathan and I am interested in how he develops.
    Spend more time discussing Jesse as he also has the potential to be a very good character.

    In summary, this is a very good start and with a little work it could be a very good story and i would really like to read more.

1 - 5 of 5