Obsessed-Chapter 4

I knew that Alvin was having an affair, but I didn't know who it was with.  Every time he came home from work, I was asleep, or so he thought.  He worked a nine hour shift 10-7, and since he took care of the bills I never knew how much he made.  He'd walk in at 735 in the morning and even in the false predawn, I could see the faint scratches on his back.  What I found even more weird is that, every time he came home he'd take a shower.  Not every morning, but when he did I knew, he had cheated on me that night.  I didn't say anything, after all I had, also had an affair, but ended it after a month or so, and to be honest, it only ended because the man lost interest.  I guess Alvin was lucky in the sense that who ever he was with still wanted him.  I knew this had been going on for a long time.  He rarely had sex with me anymore, and when he did, I always thought he wasn't himself.  I was miserable, I didn't think I could hide this anymore.  The more I held in that I knew, the more rage that filled me. We had a family, three children.  Our two boys, twins, were 3 years old, our daughter was already 1 and a half.  This needed to stop, or I'd leave him.  I fell out of love with Alvin, and had told my best friend Vivian.  But slowly after finding out about my pregnancy with my daughter, I fell for him all over again, and I didn't intend to let him go.  Vivian-god I don't even know what happened to her, we just stopped talking, and sometimes I wondered, if it was because I was attracted to her.  For years, even before I was with Alvin, I wanted her, we were both bisexual, and we even attempted a relationship once, but it didn't work, out, we both liked men more, but I never stopped wanting her, and I would always love her.  And out of love we remained friends all these years.  Yet sometimes she'd disappear.  Like now.  Its now 734, and I hear Alvin coming up the stairs, and I lay naked in the bed hoping to entice him, he glanced at me. "Hi, you are up early."  He took off his shirt, and began to undress himself.  I walked over to him and kissed his back, and he shuddered, from revulsion? "Where are you going hun, you know what I want."  And he did, he turned towards me.  "I'm going to take a shower, I'm sorry but I'm tired from work. I just want to sleep."  I tried to blink back tears, he had been with that bitch tonight.  I could even smell the sex on him.  As he turned to leave I grabbed his hand, and his muscles tensed.  He had been working out, his once pouch was now non existent and he had what I called,"wash board abs." When did that happen? "You were with that bitch tonight, weren't you?"  I walked away and threw on my night gown.  He came to me, and shook me hard. "What do you know about her?"  I turned to him,"I know that you've been having an affair Alvin, I've known all along, I just thought to let you have your fun, and I thought it would die down, and that you'd come back to me, but you are still with her, fucking her.  Is she good, is she better than me, tell me damn it, TELL ME YOU FUCKING BASTARD, IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, FUCKING, DONT I GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED HERE?"  His nostrils flared, and he slapped me.  He slapped me so hard, I saw stars in my eyes, and fell onto the bed.  I cried, he had never hit me, what was happening. " GOD DAMN IT LISA, YOU DONT FUCKING OWN ME, YES I'M IN LOVE WITH HER, YES I FUCKED HER, I FUCKED HER MORE TIMES THIS YEAR THAN I FUCKED YOU IN FIVE YEARS, I WANT HER, I'M OBSESSED WITH HER, I'LL ADMIT IT, SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY." I interrupted him, "so FUCKING go with her, what are you doing with me, hitting me, fucking me, and thinking of her, you only want me to keep your house clean, and to cook for you."  He raised his hand again, but instead of hitting me he bunched up his fist. "If you leave me I'll fucking kill you, you are my wife, and you are going to stay by my side no matter what.  If she leaves me I"ll kill her, NOW LOWER YOUR VOICE, YOU WILL WAKE UP THE KIDS."  He slammed the bathroom door shut.  I began to cry, what was happening, he had always been possessive but never obsessive, I had to talk to Vivian-NOW.1