Elliot’s Story – The Angel of Darkness.1
Chapter 1 2
The study was lightly lit; candles flickering and casting a calming glow over the book covered walls. 3
Sitting at the desk, hunched over a small mountain of papers, sat a 15 year old boy, his long black hair tied into a low pony-tail. His bangs fluttered across his forehead and his brow creased as he stared down at his page through orange-tinted glasses. 4
“Argh. I can’t fathom how any human can survive years of learning this stuff...” He hissed, scribbling out a mistake in his math equation and punching a few numbers into an old calculator.5
The study door creaked open a crack – a small white head of hair poking through. 6
“Elliot?” A young boy asked, creeping further into the room and shutting the door behind him.7
The black-haired boy smiled at the visitor, dropping his pen onto his pad of paper. “What brings you here, Wolfie?”8
The white-haired boy scowled, face heating up. “Don’t call me that! It’s Wolf, and only Wolf!”9
Elliot chuckled, “Alright then, Wolf.” He picked up his pen again, casting his eyes back onto his calculations. 10
“Whatcha doing?” the 12 year old asked, curiously peering across the desk. 11
“I’m studying math,” Elliot replied.12
Wolf wrinkled his nose, “Didn’t you finish the basics of math before you graduated?”13
The older boy nodded, “Yeah, but for this mission I’ve got, I have to be competent in Earth’s more advanced math forms – like calculus...Algebra...”14
“Ack. That’s painful...” Wolf said, golden irises flashing with sympathy for his mentor.15
“Indeed it is. One more equation and my head may explode – I advise that you back up a few steps, lest you be splattered with my remnants...”16
Wolf snorted and covered his mouth with his over-sized sleeve to hide his amused smile. 17
“Why are you studying so hard, anyway?” The pre-teen asked, fingering the smooth edge of the desk, “Can’t you just wing it?” 18
“Probably,” Elliot laughed softly as he began tapping his pen on the paper covered in scribbles and numbers, “But, It’s my first major mission, I want to be prepared so I can do as well as possible…” the teen trailed off, amber eyes turning distant.19
Wolf averted his gaze, choosing to look the small room over. Loose papers took up residence over the floor, books stacked as high as the ceiling stood in a cluster in the corner. The small arm-chair in the opposite corner was so covered with junk that it would go unnoticed if one had not known it was there to begin with.20
“No offence, or anything - but your study’s a real mess.”21
Elliot glared playfully over his glasses, “How’d you even get into my apartment, anyway?” 22
“I have my ways…” The white-haired boy answered airily, his back to his friend and mentor. 23
“So,” He started, looking back over his shoulder, “With you off on a mission, who’s going to train me?” 24
“I’m not sure, Wolf. You’re such a handful – surely no one else will want to take on the challenge!” Elliot replied with a devilish grin –not too becoming of an angel, that’s for sure. 25
“Hey! That’s not true! Lots of angels would love to train me!” 26
“Uh-huh, sure.” Elliot lent back in his chair, waving his hand lazily, “They’re lining up out the door, just waiting for me to leave so they can get their chance to train the Great Wolfie-poo!”27
Wolf growled in frustration, cheeks blushing red once again. “Don’t call me that!”28
~~~29
The scene became nothing more than a foggy memory as Elliot slowly regained consciousness. He groaned, and shifted slightly. 30
“Ow, ow, ow!” The teen hissed out, “Why didn’t anyone warn me that falling to Earth would be so PAINFUL!?” He slowly picked himself up and, brushing himself off, looked at the scenery around him. 31
He was in a tiny yard, mere meters from a pool, boarded by pavers. He faced away from a small, brick house. The fence surrounding the yard was tall, coated in vines and their flowers. The small patch of grass available was covered by a trampoline. Elliot blinked, at least – he was pretty sure it was a trampoline. He remembered reading up on them during a study session. ‘You bounce on them, right?’ He thought, walking over and sweeping a long finger over the metal. Elliot pulled his hand back with a hiss when he received a jolt to the aforementioned limb. ‘These things are dangerous! Never mentioned THAT in my books!’ 32
Somewhere behind the boy, there was a crash and a squeak. Elliot turned, staring straight into the wide, emerald eyes of an obviously terrified red-haired girl. At her feet were the remnants of what once would have been a pot-plant – dirt spread far across the patio floor. 33
Elliot blinked – he wasn’t expecting to come into contact with a human so soon. “Umm...” He cleared his throat, and put on a smile, “Hello. Please, don’t mind my intruding – I’ll just be leaving now...”34
“W-w-w-wi...” The girl spluttered out, taking a step back towards her house, pointing at Elliot as if he were some kind of urethral being. Which he was – but she didn’t know that...35
Elliot blinked again, “I’m sorry, what was that? Please, speak up.” 36
“W-w-w-w....YOU HAVE WINGS!!!!!!!” She shrieked out. The boy’s amber eyes opened wide and he shot over to the screaming girl, smacking a hand over her mouth to quieten her. “Please,” He hissed, “Don’t speak up quite THAT much!” 37
The girl was shaking with fear, muttering muffled nonsense from beneath Elliot’s hand. Blinking her owl-like eyes one last time – she fainted. 38
“Oh god.” 39
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Ehehehe....I'm sure I'm cursing myself by posting this so early (I never seem to be able to get past the second chapter....~,~)41
Anyway, about Elliot's massive personailty change from the memory to the present - He has absolutely no idea how to act around strangers. Or humans, for that matter. He only really opens up to people he knows well. Like with Wolf, because they've been friends for long time.
Is it good so far???
Comments
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i love this fic...
you need to continue it!!! -
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I will! I promise!!! xD
I've fallen back into a pokemon mood, though... ~,~ haha
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awesome!
haha. i love it!
i get what you're saying about his personality change... xD Wolfie's kawaii!! are you going to tell any parts of this story from his POV?? t would be cool if you did.
PS don't get stuck on the third chapter again!! haha


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I like the concept I would go back and reread this because there are a few spelling mistakes. I like the idea of a story about angels coming to earth; I have to be honest and say I haven't read one like this before so I'm excited to see where this will go from here. Keep up the good work remember to reread and check for spelling and grammar mistakes, and when you post the second chapter make sure you let me know!
One other thing to keep in mind, make sure your character's relationships stay believeable, I would ellaborate a bit on Elliot and Wolfie's relationship throughout the story. Keep writing!
~Betrayals




