Beautiful

hello, beautiful.
how did you get here?
where did you come from?1

hello beautiful.
i want to know you,
but will you know me?2

hello beautiful.
why do you look so
hurt and so broken?3

hello beautiful.
if you want me to,
i can get you through.4

hello beautiful.
you look oh so sad
with tears in your eyes.5

hello beautiful.
i swear i'll never
hurt you like she did.6

hello beautiful.
hold onto my heart
and please don't break it.7

hello beautiful.
you are my only.
you're the one for me.8

hello beautiful.
how could you go back
after all she did?9

hello beautiful.
i'm trying to knock
some sense into you.10

hello beautiful?
are you still in there?
you don't have to hide.11

hello beautiful?
where has my heart gone?
where is my love song?12

hello beautiful?
where've you disappeared?
where's my love, so dear?13

hello, beautiful?
when'd you get so far?
why are you so gone?14

hello, beautiful?
why can't i see you?
why is it so dark?15

hello beautiful.
i just can't take this.
i want my heart back.16

goodbye beautiful.
you can keep my heart,
long as it is safe.17

goodbye beautiful.
but before i leave,
i'll say one more thing.18

goodbye beautiful.
won't be forever
if you don't want to19

goodbye beautiful.
you don't look quite so
beautiful no more.20

goodbye beautiful.

Author notes

i am a chicken.

i wanna know what you guys think. this is probably the longest thing i've ever written, so no matter what you think, i'm happy ^.^

A contest entry

like it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Schnitzel
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    good, but a little repetitive and well, unnatural. It seamed a little forced, in my opion. but good structure and flow.

    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!

    Schnitzel

    beginning: 3, language: 3, ending: 3.


    • luvmcr444
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      thanks. is it just me or is there a piece of cheese next to your name?


  • sexicmw
    September 23

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    Its nice but there a lot of beautiful in it. If there was less then it would be a really great poem. But I still think it great keep it up.