Study of the Heart, Tricks and Treats: Part I

Study of the Heart1

~Tricks and Treats~2

Part I3

I buttoned up my jacket as a few leaves danced in the sudden blast of wind. It was a bit chilly for October, but then again, it was Halloween so November was quickly approaching. I made my way across the small street and ran up to Meg’s apartment. I knocked on her door–it had a strange decoration on it that looked as if a witch had wrecked into the window–and I waited a moment until Meg answered the door.4

“You really need to get that doorbell fixed.” I said as I stepped inside.5

“Well, I’m no electrician.” Meg sighed as she shut the door behind us. “Besides, it isn’t like there are any real men around to fix it.”6

“Very funny.” I replied. I hung my jacket up on the coatrack and turned to face Meg’s kitchen.7

There were three medium-sized boxes on her table, and upon closer inspection I discovered that they were all filled with bags of candy. Chocolate bars, candy corn, tootsie-rolls, potato chips, and numerous others lined the boxes from top to bottom.8

“Wow Meg, I bet the kids on this block will love this.” I said happily.9

“Hah, kids?” Meg laughed as she cracked open a beer. “What are you talking about, that candy’s mine.”10

I rolled my eyes and took a seat next to the candy-topped kitchen table. “Yeah yeah, whatever. You just don’t want to admit that you have a soft giving side.”11

“Whatever.” Meg said as she downed her beer. “Anyhow . . . I wondered if you and Chris planned to go to the dance.”12

“You mean the party the university is hosting?” I asked, sort of answering my own question.13

“What else?” Meg replied as she ripped open a treat-sized bag of chips. “You and I take classes there, even if we don’t live in the dorms.”14

“Well . . . I don’t know, I’d have to call Chris at work and ask him about it. We really hadn’t planned on anything tonight.” 15

“What?” Meg asked, seeming surprised. “It’s Halloween! How can you not have anything planned, come on, pleeeease? Doug can’t come so I didn’t want to go alone.”16

“I don’t know . . . it’s just that . . . ” I paused. “I don’t know if it’d be . . . a good idea for me and Chris to go . . . ”17

“Why?” Meg paused for a moment, as if thinking to herself, and then she nodded. “Ooh, I get it. You’re afraid people will make remarks because you’d be dancing with your boyfriend, or whatever. Don’t sweat it. Besides . . . you could always dress as a girl, it is a masquerade after all.”18

“Oh shut up. That isn’t what I meant.” I replied, feeling a little embarrassed.19

“Yeah, sure.” Meg sighed as she popped a potato chip in her mouth. “You shouldn’t give a shit about what others think. BUT you should think about going . . . ” Meg swallowed, and began talking again. “I’m bored as hell.  It’ll be fun to hang out at the U.”20

“Fine.” I muttered as I stood up. “I’ll call Chris and ask him to pick up a costume and meet me at the U.” I paused. “What time does it start?”21

“Ten-thirty.” Meg smiled. “Don’t be late, or else the ghosts might get you.”22

“Yeah, well I’d be more aware of the football-playing, homophobic, frat-boys than any ghosts.” I sighed and walked over to phone.23

“Denny’s, how can I help you?” Some girl answered with a cheery tone.24

“Oh!” I said, remembering who it was. “Diane . . . right? This is Nick, Chris's roommate, may I speak to him?”25

“Oh, Nick! Nice to hear from you. You really should call more often.” Diane said happily, as if she lived at Denny’s and waited for me to call.26

“Y-yeah, well . . . ” I paused, not knowing what to say to her slightly . . . air-brained remark. “I’m sure you’re very busy, so if it isn’t too much trouble . . . could you punch me through to the break room?”27

“Of course, Chris should be in there. You know, because he’s on his break . . . and that is the break room.” Diane giggled. 28

“Yes . . . well thank you.” 29

“No problem Nick, it was nice hearing from you.” Diane said, I could almost see her flashing that sugary-sweet smile of hers as she switched the phone line through.30

“Yeah, this is Chris. What’s up?” Finally, I thought. 31

“It’s Nick. How are you?” I asked, smiling a little bit at the sound of Chris’s voice.32

“I’m fine . . . but is something the matter? You don’t usually call unless something’s wrong.” Chris said calmly, but it was obvious that he was slightly worried. The last time I had to call him during his break was when the kitchen sink sprung a leak.33

“Well . . . nothing is really wrong. It’s just that Meg wanted to know if I would go with her to the party at the University tonight.” I paused. “And I was wondering if you’d come with us.” I heard Chris pause for a moment, like he was thinking. “I know you have to work until nine tonight . . . but the party starts at ten-thirty, so you could probably make it . . . of course you don’t have to if you’re too tired, or have to work overtime or . . . ”34

“I’ll be there.” Chris said reassuringly. I smiled. “Ten-thirty right? I’ll stop by Target on the way home, I assume it’s a dress up thing right?”35

“Right . . . we can meet outside the U around Ten-fifteen or so.” I paused. “Thanks.”36

I heard Chris chuckle a little. “Hey, it isn’t often that you want to go out and do something together.”37

“What?” I asked, not realizing that what he said was true.38

“I mean, you know . . . ” Chris paused. “It’s just that . . . you tend to get nervous when we are out together. You sure you’ll be alright tonight? I mean, we wouldn’t have to go as if we were on a date . . . that way other people won’t be as curious.”39

“Well . . . ” I paused. “No, It’s fine. Just . . . try to be there by ten-fifteen by the entrance steps. Ok?”40

“Alright hun . . . ” Chris said without hesitance, like he didn’t care how many coworkers heard. 41

“A-alright . . . bye.” I said meekly.42

“Bye, love you.”43

“Love you . . . ” I blushed as the phone went dead. I slid the phone back up on it’s wall-mounted bed. 44

After I told Meg that Chris was coming, we made a quick run to the store in her minivan. I hadn’t worn a Halloween costume since I was six, but I was able to find the aisle of costumes by following the hordes of children and parents. You gotta love last-minute shopping, I suppose. 45

I walked around for a while, trying to find an outfit that wasn’t too stupid or overdone. I think I passed a hundred power-ranger outfits, and a couple dozen cartoon characters.46

“This.” I turned around, upon hearing Meg’s voice. She was next to a rack of glow-sticks and vinyl-packaged outfits. “You have to wear this.” She turned around and held out a costume.47

“No way in hell.” I said, staring down at the costume. It was a cat outfit, complete with a headband with ears, a bell collar, some face paint for whiskers and what not, and a tail attached to the back of a cheap belt.48

“Awww come on Nicky!” Meg pouted. “It’s so cute!” She paused. “And besides . . . think of the fun you can have with it after the party.” She said, emphasizing the word ‘fun’ with a wink.49

“If I wear it, will you promise never to call me ‘Nicky’ again?” I asked, glaring at Meg.50

“I’ll think about it.” She said, grinning.51

Meg and I blew some time at her house until around nine, drinking a few beers, watching tv, and talking.52

“You know.  You haven’t really been too enthused about this.” Meg said as she pulled her costume out of her dresser. I remained quiet, feeling that it would be enough to explain the feeling I was having. “You’re nervous. I know that.” Meg continued. “But, you don’t have to be. You shouldn’t be.”53

Meg walked around her bed, and sat down next to me. “You and Chris are basically made for each other. If I found a guy like that . . . I’d want everyone to know.” I turned to her as she smiled. “It doesn’t matter if you’re both guys or not, most people won’t have enough balls to say anything to you anyhow. Maybe you’ll get a few stares tonight, perhaps a few whispers or whatever . . . but who cares?” 54

“I can’t explain it.” I paused. “At first, I was so happy to be with Chris. I did want everyone to know . . . but then I started classes at the U, and I realized that none of these people knew me. Not one person. If they had known I was the gay guy, I’m sure I would have been treated differently . . . I’m not exactly scared that people say anything I guess . . . but . . . ”55

“I understand where you’re coming from.” Meg nodded. “From what you told me, it sounds like you never really had a period to ‘come out’. You know? To yourself . . . or to anyone else. I’m sure I’m the only person who knows about you and Chris . . . who knows that you’re gay.”56

I paused. Meg was right. What an irony, Meg, of all people, had hit the nail on the head.57

“You can’t be afraid of what others think, Nick.” Meg said as she stood up and unfolded her gothy-looking dress. “That ring Chris gave you last Christmas, it wasn’t just to solidify the relationship you two have.”58

I nodded. “You’re right.” I stood up and grabbed the cat ears next to me, and plopped them on my head. “When Chris gave me this . . . he said . . . that it was proof to the world that we were together. That we were a couple. He was happy, proud, he wanted people to know!”59

“That’s the spirit!” Meg laughed. “Keep that up for the party, and I’m sure you’ll have a blast.”60

I smiled. Maybe Meg was right again. It would be odd for that to happen, like lightning striking twice, but still . . . there was always something so obvious and truthful to the way she went about things. At times . . . I almost wished I was more like her.61