Two of a kind

The young man stood silently in the outskirts of the crowded public park, the shadow he cast mingling with those of the tall trees behind him. He watched as the children ran past him exuberantly, laughing, shouting, and chasing each other, none paying him the slightest bit of attention. Children were like that, he knew- so caught up in their own small worlds that those of others escaped them. He didn't mind- it amused him to watch those who could still so easily feel happiness, innocence.1

He watched the parents too, who were, in turn, watching their children- most of them, anyway. They were also interesting- some looked relaxed and happy, smiling as they watched their child. Others looked weary, near exhaustion, as though they rarely sat down or slept. Some were impatient, or angry, as though they really didn't want to be there- busy parents, he thought. And still others weren't interested at all- they were typing on laptops, or flirting with women or men he doubted were the children's parents. 2

As he watched the park's occupants from his solitary spot in the back, one person in particular caught his eye. A young woman, around his age, 20 or 21, was sitting on a bench, watching the park's inhabitants as intently as he was. She was very attractive, he thought, with her short, stylishly cut brown hair, and an open, friendly face. He noticed that like him, and unlike the kids' parents, she didnt seem to be focused on any one person, but rather all of them.3

His attention distracted from the other people, he watched her for a few moments, a faint smile on his lips, feeling strangely drawn to her, as though he wanted- needed- to speak to her. Though he hadn't heard her speak, or even seen her move, and he was sure she hadn't noticed him, he was almost certain that should he approach, she would not only be receptive to him, she'd also feel the same magnetic pull toward him that he felt toward her.4

He heistated only a moment in the shade of the trees before stepping into the sunlit park path and making his way to the woman on the bench. She still had not noticed him when he came to a stop beside her.5

" Nice day, isn't it?" he said in a casual tone. Startled, the girl turned to see he was standing nearby. She smiled, and his heart pounded in his chest. She was even prettier than he'd thought- her brown eyes sparkled, and she had a lovely smile. Despite the cool autumn day, she was wearing a sleeveless shirt and capris, and he noticed a tattoo of a nude fairy on each shoulder blade, and a Chinese symbol on her ankle.6

" Yes, it is, isn't it?" she replied. " October's my favorite month."7

" Mine too," he said. Following her gaze, which was resting on a little boy playing in a sandbox, he asked, " Are any of them yours- the kids, I mean?"8

The girl laughed, making her eyes dance once more. He found himself leaning closer to her unconciously.9

" Oh, no! No, I don't know anyone here. I just like to come and sit out here and watch everyone. People are so interesting, you know? You can learn a lot from watching strangers... you probably think I'm strange."10

He shook his head. " No, not at all. I do the same thing. In fact, I was watching you before I came over, believe it or not."11

She raised an eyebrow. " Really? Well, I'm flattered."12

" My name is Gavin," he said abruptly. " Gavin Berwin."13

" Nice to meet you, Gavin," she replied, shaking his hand. Her palm was soft and cool to his touch. " I'm Rikarah Pallaton."14

Once introductions had been made, Gavin and Rikarah began to talk in earnest. Gavin marveled at how easy it was to talk to her. She was so open and honest- she said whatever popped into her mind, no matter how strange it sounded, and most of what she said, Gavin could identify with. From her lively comments, it was obvious she was an intelligent, very individualistic girl. Gavin liked her immediately- and he could tell she liked him too.15

They had been talking about random stuff for nearly an hour before Gavin suggested going for coffee together. Rikarah had agreed, and they walked to a coffee shop only a block or so from the park, standing rather closer to each other than necesscary so their shoulders bumped often. 16

" So what kind of stuff do you like to do for fun? Besides watch people, I mean?" Gavin asked as they sat sipping their coffee.17

" Sometimes I draw. Or write stories, I like to do that. I guess I'm a nerd, huh? I love movies-especially horror. Even cheesy ones! And I started a collection recently- I only have a few things in it now, but they're very special to me."18

" What do you collect?" Gavin inquired curiously.19

" Well, it's kind of hard to explain... you'll have to see it for yourself," Rikarah told him. Gavin smiled.20

" I'll have to take you up on that."21

They continued on with their pleasant little date, and Gavin forgot about Rikarah's comment about her collection. He was trying to work out an acceptable way to ask her to his apartment when she beat him to it.22

" Gavin, why don't you come over to my apartment? I can make dinner for us... and you can see my collection," Rikarah said in a light-hearted and causual tone. She waggled her eyebrows at him mischieviously. " I know you're dying to see my collection! Not to mention exploring my... apartment." The way she said the last bit implied a meaning beyond the literary sense. Gavin grinned. He had to love this girl- she'd just made it so much easier on him.23

" Sure," he said. " Sounds great. Can't wait to... uh... see your apartment."24

" I don't live far from here- less than three blocks," Rikarah told him. " I walk everywhere. You didn't have a car in the park, did you- it's okay for you to walk?"25

" Oh yeah," Gavin assured her. " I walk everywhere too." 26

The walk to Rikarah's house was a blur for Gavin. All he could concentrated on was his anticipation of going home with her- just the two of them, completely alone-he couldn't have planned it better himself. He found himself focusing on parts of her- her eyes, her lips, her chest, her neck- one at a time, rather than listening to her talking. If she noticed, she didn't seem to mind.27

Rikarah's apartment, though modest, was well-kept, at least on the outside. The very small yard was neatly trimmed, and though the aparment itself was old and out of style, it was painted and the stoop was swept. Rikarah led Gavin up to the stoop and fumbled for her keys, finally opening the door and gesuring Gavin inside.28

" Here it is, my palace," she said dramatically. " Doesn't it just take your breath away?"29

Stepping inside, Gavin smiled at her obviously sarcastic words. Her living room was rather small and cluttered- the ugly, mismatched furniture taking up too much room. However, like the outside of the house, Rikarah had done her best to make it look better, taping her own drawings to the walls. Gavin stepped over to one of them and examined it more closely. It was a rather good sketch of a teenaged girl who resembled Rikarah.30

" This is really good," he told her. " Is that you?"31

" Yeah, a self-portrait. I was 16." 32

He continued his walk around the room, looking over each of Rikarah's drawings. Finally he had seen each of them up close. Looking up, he commented, " Rikarah, you're really talented."33

She shrugged. " I work at it. It was a form of escape for me for a while. When I was younger." An odd expression crossed her face that Gavin couldn't read. Sensing he'd hit on a sensitive subject, he asked, " So where's this collection you were going to show me?" 34

Rikarah's smile returned. " Oh, it's in my room... you want to see it?" 35

Gavin nodded. Rikarah's smile widened. " Are you sure?" she teased. " Okay then- follow me! And prepare to be stunned!"36

She walked down a small hallway. Gavin followed, wondering what in the world her collection could be that she was so mysterious about. From what he knw of her, he guessed it was an artistic thing of some kind. Rikarah opened the door and stepped inside to a room.37

" Here we are!" she said. " This is my collection... isn't it beautiful?"38

Gavin walked into her bedroom after her. Like the living room, it was small, cramped, and had drawings hanging up everywhere. But all of this completely escaped Gavin's view. His eyes were focused on a shelf fixed right at his eye level and the items it was holding. His mouth dropped open in complete shock, and he stared, unable to speak or make a sound. Rikarah watched his reaction with a strangely twisted smile- for the items on the shelf-her collection- was the gruesome, decaying heads of three people that had obviously once been alive and well- and not such a long time ago either. They were sitting up on the stumps of their necks, dried blood coating their faces and necks grotesquely. But the strangest and scariest thing about them was the faces' disturbing mutilations. On the left, the head of the only male, the eyes were missing- they were only empty sockets. The woman's head in the middle was missing both ears, and the head of a teen girl on the right had had her mouth crudely sewn shut with coarse black thread. 39

Gavin gaped dumbly at the gruesome figures, unable to believe his eyes. This couldn't be right. These- this- these DECAPITATED HEADS were the collection Rikarah had been talking about?! They had to be fake, masks, or sculptures, or something!40

Rikarah, observing his reaction with a mix of pleasure, smugness, and disappointment, finally spoke. " You don't get it, do you?" she said calmly. " I guess I can't expect you to."41

" Are those real?!" Gavin stuttered.42

" Of course they are," Rikarah smiled. " Right now, you don't get it, but that's ok. It's an artistic statement, Gavin. I'm rather proud of them."43

" Who are those people?" Gavin sputtered.44

" My family," Rikarah stated. " Let me explain. You have to know the full story to understand the meaning of the my collection." She paused. " Ever heard of the three evils- hear no, see no, speak no evil? The little monkeys?"45

Gavin nodded wordlessly, not sure where she was goin with that. He eyed her in still complete disbelief and shock at his discovery.46

" That's kind of my theme here. See how the man is missing his eyes?" she asked, gesturing at the male head. " That was my father. You see, my whole family was evil- even my sister, and she was only fifteen. My dad was a nasty, dirty-minded pervert. He couldn't keep his eyes where they should be- he was always leering at some girl, some woman- if not a real one- then porn. He couldn't even restrain himself from looking at me, his own daughter! HE was always after me, touching me when no one was watching, staring at my boobs, my butt... he was a sicko. He even wanted me to have sex with him, can you believe that? I managed to avoid it, but it wasn't enough to stop him. Which leads to my mom. I told her what he was doing, but she refused to listen to me. She wouldn't believe me. She said I was lying- she stuck up for that pig!"47

" You see, my dad- he saw evil, or he let himself see evil. And my mom heard evil but did nothing to stop it... hence their mutilations. See no evil, hear no evil, get it?" Rikarah grinned. " Oh, and my sister. Isabella Rue. You'd think with a name like Isabella Rue she'd be cool, but no, she was a typical snobby bitch. She was such an awful sister. I always tried to be nice to her, and Isabella Rue would completely backstab me. She'd pick fights all the time- she'd yell and swear at me, and she was my little sister! She'd try to get me in trouble all the time. Isabella Rue would make up horrid stories about me and tell not only my parents, but all the kids at school. Not a pleasant girl. Isabella Rue spoke evil- but she can't anymore!" Seeing the stony look on Gavin's face, Rikarah's smile slipped.48

" You still don't get it. I guess I can't expect you too... Not many people would understand my collection. I take it you're afraid of me now? I take it you think I'm crazy, that you're going to make up an excuse to leave so you can run straight to the police? So you can tell, so I get sent to prison, or a mental institution, if I"m lucky? Am i right? Well guess what Gavin, that's not going to happen. Not if I have any say in this..." Rikarah's usually sunny face had gone as hard as flint, her cold eyes narrow, a malevolence coming across her pretty features as she stared intently at Gavin. He shrugged, his former shocked expression gone-he looked blank, unconcerned, as though he didn't care what might happen to him- or what she might do to him.49

" Actually, you're not right. You couldn't be more wrong."50

A startled look flickered across Rikarah's face, but it was quickly replaced with a smirk.51

" Oh really? You expect me to believe you aren't horrified by this, that if I let you go you'd stay quiet the rest of your life? Please Gavin, you're human- and humans have an unbelievably long moral streak. Most do anyway... I mean, I kind of feel bad now that I've seen you're a nice guy and all, but... I want to start a new collection. Something with hands and feet. And you're here, so..." She let her voice trail off, shrugging.52

" I mean it," Gavin insisted calmly. " If I leave- when I leave- I can promise you I won't tell about your- uh- hobby."53

"Right!" Rikarah said cynically, eyes boring holes into his. He stared right back at her. " YOu want me to just trust you- to place my freedom, my life, in your hands?"54

" No," Gavin said in a tight, cold voice. " I expect you to."55

Suddenly his hands plunged into the baggy leather jacket he'd been wearing and withdrew a sharp, menacing-looking knife. He held it up, its blade glinting ominously. Rikarah gasped, her eyes widening. She stared at him, speechless- just as he'd stared at her only a few minutes ago.56

" Weren't expecting that, were you?" he asked in a friendly tone. " Just like I wasn't expecting you to be an axe murderer, or however you cut off their heads."57

" Butcher knife," Rikarah said faintly, eyes fixed on his knife.58

" Oh, so we're both knife people. Guess that makes sense. What irony, huh?" he said, smiling ruefully. " You see, you brought me here to kill me- but I came here to kill you. I go to the park to scope out victims- I assume you were there for the same reason?"59

Rikarah nodded tightly.60

" I picked you out as soon as I saw you. I knew there was something different about you.. I was drawn to you, though I didn't know why. Guess I do now," he smiled. " Likes attract more than opposites."61

Rikarah shook her head in disbelief, still trying to process this turn in events. " I don't believe this. I brought you here to kill you and you came here to kill me? This is unfathomable!"62

" Not really," Gavin replied. " Like I said, likes attract more than opposites."63

Rikarah narrowed her eyes at him. " Do you still think you're going to kill me, Gavin? Because if you do, you can reject that little notion fast. I can assure you I can quite easily put a stop to any plan you have formed. As you can see, I'm not the helpless little woman you thought I was."64

Gavin grinned. " Oh, I believe it. I think the two of us are rather fairly matched in that respect. It would be an interesting battle."65

"So what's your plan then?" 66

" Well..." Gavin said slowly, thinking. Finally he said, " I never met anyone before who was like me, Rikarah. And I bet you never met anyone who was like you either. I liked you even before I knew about your collection... and to be honest, now that I know what you're really like, I find you sexy as hell."67

Rikarah's wary look softened, and she smiled.68

" Really? Same here."69

" I have a proposal for you. Instead of trying to do each other in, or letting each other escape alive and never meeting again- why dont' we work together? We're so similar. We obviously have a lot in common, and we're both attracted to each other. I could bring home people and we could kill them together- then you could add them to you collection. I just think it would be a shame to fight each other, or try to forget each other, when the chances of us finding someone else like us, someone we could live with and work with- even love- are close to zero. I think we'd be good together, Rikarah- better than either of us are alone. What do you say?"70

Rikarah cocked her head, smiling slowly her approval. Her eyes glowed.71

" I think we agree, Mr. Soulmate. I also think you can drop your I'm-a-gentleman act and kiss me like you've been dying to all night."72

With a sadistic grin, Gavin tucked his knife back into his jacket and roughly pulled Rikarah into his arms, brutally crushing his lips against hers. Her arms tightened in an almost strangling grip around his neck, and she kissed him back just as violently. On the shelf behind them, Rikarah's collection sat placidly, seeing, hearing, and speaking nothing of the evils they were so proximal to. 73

the end

Author notes

you're so very pretty when you're turning blue... first option. i also have a sequel to this called twisted affections, which explores their relationship more, if you liked this

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Delfishie
    November 4, 2007

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    Oooohhhh. I liked that. I was worried for a second that it'd be another 'someone dies. the end' story, but there was a plot twist and everything. Awesome!

    The thing that especially impressed me about your story was the 'violent' descriptions of their kiss at the end of the story. Your adjective choices and descriptions were spot-on. I thought it was a very clever decision.

    Characterwise, I totally hate Rikarah. What a selfish, stuck up person. Heh. But she was definitely interesting to read about and I love her obvious flaws (the blatant self-interest, for one. In fact, I hope you explore that further in future chapters, because nothing makes a character interesting like their flaws.)

    Thanks for entering the contest! :-)

    • Jinxgirl
      November 4, 2007
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      lol,you seemed to get the story much more than most do. thank you for your comments. i have two sequels to this also. they are called twisted affections and fair weather friend, if you would be interested in reading them.


  • MessOfADreamer
    November 2, 2007

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    Great job!

    Oh my goodness, that was fantastic! You have a really fun way of playing with the prose - even with a weird topic like this, it flowed really well, and I was emotionally involved with the characters. A badillion cheers, love!


  • k8fairy
    June 9, 2007
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    Creepy cool. I love those three heads, I can just picture them in my head.Awesome.

    • Jinxgirl
      July 3, 2007
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      thanks! i have a sequel actually, actually two. they'r ecalled twisted affections and fair weather friend if you want to read


  • yumesandman
    April 2, 2007

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    It's not bad.

    The two murderers find each other is a tad bit on the unbelievable side. There's a lot of violence in the world, but there was some study that came out a while ago predicting that only 2% of the world population is capable of conscious murder, 1.67% of which is crimes of passion or parents in defense of their children. So two members of that .33% randomly meeting each other? Not impossible, just somewhat improbable.

    But even still it was a good story. I liked the character dimensions, and over all it was written well. Good job.

    • Jinxgirl
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks! i have a sequel called twisted affections if you want to read it

  • hellemic
    March 25, 2007

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    Deliciously dark

    Great story!
    A few nitpickings...
    I like the wistful tone of observations at beginning, the lingering pace throughout. Gavin is sympathetic from the start, though this later turns (maybe too abruptly, in fact). As they walk to her place his personality seems to shift to that of a stalker. Earlier he just seemed a bit lonely, an observer of people. All of a sudden he is sociopathic, especially the "he couldn't have planned it better himself" comment. Obviously later this is the result and it needs to be hinted at, but as I said, a more gradual progression in the middle is needed. I wanted to like him, and if you can sucker me in a bit longer and give a hint of his menace before it is exposed completely, I think the final effect will be even better.

    The paragraph that begins "They had been talking about random stuff...." doesn't seem to fit, it's too abrupt and telling, plus it seems odd that than an entire hour of such open chatting passes before either suggests the coffee shop, though certainly the passage of time and evidence of easy interactions are necessary to set up the later invitation to apartment.

    I might add a bit of pause, some hesitation or apparent decision before he makes proposal to her to join forces.

    Finally, my kudos: Lots of good description, good pace overall--the story really moves along, and excellent balance of narration and dialogue. I really like the "likes attract more than opposites" line. I like how you describe his response to her collection and how she reacts to his reaction. Good chemistry between the two in the end. Great closing paragraph.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    June 16, 2006

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    How right you are about the parents. Wonderful insight in paragraph two. Couple of typos but there is always those, no matter how many times you go over it.
    It was a great story. Thanks for sharing.
    ~Syren~

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.

    • Jinxgirl
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i know you read this long ago... but if you still remember it, i have two sequels now, twisted affections and fair weather friend

  • SlickNick
    May 15, 2006

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    Almost Perfect

    This was an almost perfect story. It has everything: originality, interesting writing, interesting characters, good flow... kudos to you, Jinx! I really enjoyed this. Just a few typos, which can be easily corrected, make it lose a point, so I'm giving it a 9/10.

    Thanks for a pleasure.

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, overall: 9, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Jinxgirl
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i am sure you don't remember this, but you commented on it long ago and i thought if youwanted to read the sequel twisted affections i'd let you know i had written it


  • unheardwisdom
    April 19, 2006
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    Ooh, awesome. Thought it was going to be some sappy love story, but decapitated heads, and knife murdereds, wonderful story. Though it did seem as if it moved a little to fast, but whatever it was still awesome. ^_^

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, overall: 8, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    April 16, 2006

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    Continued.

    Have you been published other than AP and Storywrite. I would be interested in representing you. You would be my first, and you can probably find better; but I am available. I would like you to do a screenplay while I try to find a magazine publisher for this story.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Jinxgirl
      April 16, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Wow. Thank you very much for your very kind comment. I am really happy you liked this story that much, I actually am not sure what I thought about it... I liked Gavin and Rikarah as characters but not really the plot. What do you mean, represent me? What kind of qualifications do you have to do that- are you a publisher or editor or something? Have you ever had things published? I have never had anything published except a story when I was in fourth grade, in a contest I won. I am 17 years old- so I have no idea how to go about getting things published, although I'd love to. If you could somehow get this published I would love that. I mostly write long stories, I have several that are 200 or 300+ pages. I am working on a novel now. Any help or tips you can give are very much appreciated. Again thanks very much for your comment!

  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    April 16, 2006

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    GREAT!!!!!!!

    I thought at first this was going to be a sweet little romance and I wasn't disappointed. This fits in very well for the group, I am glad you posted it and I hope all the members read it. I will recommend it. Post a topic about it, would you? You are an excellent writer and this story should easily sell. Do you have an agent? Very well written. You should adapt it to a screenplay. There was a grammatical mistake in it, but I don't remember what it was. Other than that, I can only say excellent on everything. You didn't give much physical description about the man, but it wasn't really necessary. You could have a sequel going into his background some and having them take their first victim(s). A delightful read. I am rating this as high as possible. I am that much impressed.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 10, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Dreamweaver
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A chilling tale ... real gruesome!
    You have told it well.
    Congratulations on winning BRONZE ... A worthy recipient.
    Take care,
    Sammy


  • Frodofan
    January 27, 2006
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    Whoaa... that was twisted. I found 1 or 2 typos, but that's it. I liked the turns and the unexpected surprises, though the ending does leave you empty. lol, but I guess it's not worse than the plot I've recently come up with. Thank you for entering.


  • Rose Dark Thorn
    October 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooooh....I REALLY like this story. This was so cool. You did a wodnerful job. I thought it was deeply enjoyable, as disturbing as it is for most people who may read it...It didn't really affect me in a gruesome way though. Very, very, VERY nicely done!

  • NotMyShadeOfGray
    October 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS AWESOME!!! i couldn't stop reading this! you pulled this off so well! great job and thanks for entering!
    ~Arachne

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