Stop A Bullet - Chapter Twenty

I handed Ashley the towel through a small peep in the bathroom door. I said nothing to instigate a conversation, but instead remained silent like always hoping that he might say something to get the ball rolling, but my plan failed miserably once again. 1

Ashley's wet hand slithered through the door caressing my outstretched palm as he yanked the towel from my hands and shut the door. Nearly jamming my fingers in the process. The shower obviously had not eased his mind of the awkwardness that now loomed over us like a dark apocalyptic cloud in a cheap budgeted reality documentary 2

I turned my back to the closed door. A new sweat seeping from my body. A cold sweat. One that trickled down my back like small droplets of rain in a sun shower. Just enough to be a pain in the ass, but not enough to deter from my already moist, retching clothes.3

In due time Ashley would get over it. He always did. He said he didn't cope with things, but it was hard not to believe him with the happy go lucky personality he exuded on a regular bases. It was one of the traits I had fallen for in our friendship and my love beyond. 4

I was in two halves with the choice I had made. One one half every fiber of my body had moved me closer towards the moment and the opportunity that had presented itself in the worst of times. In my heart I wanted nothing more that to feel Ashley inside me, around me. So close to me that our pulses would beat in unison. Only the other half my mind had been a complex labyrinth of self doubt and questioning.5

The closer I got to the great revealing and the act we were about to embark on the more I disliked the timing and the concerns that came with making one of the most important decision of my life or thereafter what was left of it. Whatever choice I made I had already determined in my mind that I would have to live with it, but I never wanted Ashley to suffer in disappointment at my selfish expense.6

I would make it up to him somehow. I owed it to him and I owed it to myself. Ashley had been right about what he had said regarding my happiness. We both knew where my true happiness lay hidden behind the cracks and suppressed voids that I covered up to protect myself and the ones that I loved. 7

Though sooner or later I was going to have to come clean with Ashley and tell him the real reason why I had rejected the chance of spontaneous, passionate love making with the man that I loved. Sooner was going to be the better option. If only I could find the words the words to explain the depth of my fears.8

“Ashley,” I said to myself crossing my arms across my chest. A compulsive, protective gesture I had always succumb to when I was alone or left waiting.9

“I want to say I am sorry for the way that I treated you before. If you could only understand how scared it made me then you might forgive me for the rejection.”10

I shook my head with shame. Always with the constant shame.11

It was pathetic, not to mention whiny and although I knew he would begin to question me I did not want a repeat of the twenty questions and to be fair it was only avoiding the real issue at hand. The truth: that my every waking thought was consumed with visions, images and predetermined ideas of what would happen when the time come for me to be punished. The nightmare that I to would be subjected to the same level of abuse Maggie and Tanya had suffered.12

“Bathroom's free,” Ashley said opening the door.13

I fell backwards into the bathroom and was caught by Ashley's outreached arms. I centered myself relaxing into the wet, warmth of his bare arms before colliding with reality once more and regained my footing on the floor. I caught a glimpse of my quivering body in the half fogged mirror- noting the rosy shade of pink my cheeks had turned and smiled at Ashley. Running a hand through my matted hair.14

“You need to be more careful,” Ashley said concerned holding out his filthy, drenched towel.15

I took it from his hands holding it to my body. The smell was nauseating, but the aroma wafting from the open cubical and from his heated body was more than enough to make me light headed and feeling like I was on a major high.16

“Last thing we need is you at the hospital with a cracked skull. Especially when Maggie's home alone,” Ashley frowned, watching me as I unconsciously brought the towel towards me face and inhaled. Scrunching up my nose id disgust. Another nail to add to the coffin I was building for myself.17

“I'm sorry,” I said throwing the towel onto the pile of clothes. Suddenly as if it wasn't so painfully apparent before, it dawned on me that Ashley was standing before me dripping a wet puddle onto the floor. His arms folded across his chest and his flaccid member hanging against his engorged balls. 18

A little shiver caressed my spin like bony fingertip against my damp flesh. Wracking my fears like seeds in soil. One by one churning and resurfacing them until I was forced to throw him the towel to cover his steady erection before I grew hard for him. It was to late though. One glimpse at his perfect tawny thighs laced with left over soap suds and droplets that glistened like tear drops on a baby's smooth cheeks and I was long transfixed. 19

Ashley missed the towel and watched as it fell to the ground behind him.20

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” He asked snapping at me. His lips curled like a ferocious dog ready to bite at my heels with every step I took closer to loosing control.21

“I don't know,” I said shaking. I held my hands in front of me raising them to eye level and watched as they trembled, turning into predatory like claws as I took one giant leap towards Ashley and pinned him against the door. Kneading my knee between his already spread thighs.22

In a savage attempt to free the need that had been eating at my insides like maggots to a carcass for far to long I pressed my chapped lips against his bronze solvent neck inhaling the sweet country scented soap that he had moisturized deep into his pours and fiercely sank my razor blade teeth against his protruding vein. Withering as I eased the affliction softly with the tip of my flickering hot tongue.23

I did not heel to his pain, neither did I stop to think about what I was getting myself into. I was a man thinking with his pants. Thinking about the truth and what I rightfully deserved. I couldn't stop myself even if I tried and as hard as it was I ignored every maze of questions my mind wandered down and dominated the situation by taking control.24

Ashley screamed, a deafening urgent scream that echoed throughout the bathroom and down the hallway like a megaphone announcement through an deserted town. His eyes wide, as if someone had tore away at his throat. Thrashing against my assault Ashley jerked me forward only to thrust my body against the door like memory lane. Holding my throat in a near asphyxiated position and held me still as he gazed into my twilight eyes.25

“Why are you doing this,” Ashely whispered loosening his grip on my throat. He lowered his eyebrows cocking his head to the side to reveal the mauve-Blue bruises I had made underneath his ear and licked a line of cherry liquid saliva up the length of my heated red cheeks.26

I tried to shake my head, but had to success. Instead I wriggled underneath his grip reaching for his sticky, wet length and wrapped my fingers around the grown of his glorious creamy leaking crown. The likings of a victorious King. 27

Ashley was by far better equip then I was, but my insecurities flew out the window when Ashley's hand gently letting go of my throat. Moving down towards the band of my pants. His hand slipping down beneath the constricting material to take my own in his lubricated wet hands. His slender fingers caressing my head sending me into the realms of submission.28

“I don't know,” I said lowering and tightening my hugging hand around his engorged balls.29

I watched as I palmed a moan out of his lips and pressed them against his ear. Lurching forward as Ashley lowered his hands to mine. Using his freehand with the held of mine to loose my pants to my heels.30

“But if you stop I am going to be forced to shred you apart,”I groaned panting like a dehydrated dog left in the sweating Australian heat.31

“Oh really,” Ashley smirked letting loose his hands from my balls.32

Ashley nodded letting a deep guttural growl confirm that he was taking control. He dug his nails into my hips. Caressing them in ticklish fashion that had me trembling again, before he hovered against the tip of my shaft. His sweet flickering tongue massaging his hungering lips. Ashley grinned, cocking an eyebrow in my direction and laughed softly licking the skin around my shaft.33

“Is that so?” Ashley asked in an almost unnatural husky voice.34

“In that case. I won't keep you pending.”35

. . .36

I stood soaking in underneath the pattering water letting it cascade down every arch, curve, crack and crevice of my body. The dirt and grime melting away on the once white face washer and down the drain leaving the shower floor a grainy shade of brown. It was refreshing to feel the repugnant residue of the days events disappearing of my skin. 37

Now dressed in a pair of my newer boxer shorts and a tight fitting t-shirt that revealed his two prominent nipples. Ashley sat on the toilet seat legs crossed. Rubbing his over stretched thighs. Straddling the toilet seat the way a farmer would a hoarse. His eyebrows, two clean black lines hiding his jade eyes watching attentively in the short distance to the way I massaged my inflamed, torn junction. 38

I bent over for his satisfaction more than my own. Wiping of the remaining dry blood that had formulated around my swollen rim. I could still feel Ashley inside of me. The uncontrollable thrusts propelling against my prostate. Tearing me with every slow, swift plunge, until our united, thundering, mind-blowing climax. 39

“You look good bent over like that,” Ashley laughed sitting upright. His legs now closed together while he flexed his arms and eased against the wall.40

“Shut up,” I said jokingly. Rinsing and ringing the face washer out. It would be a long time before I ever had the chance to experience the sensation and intimacy we had shared and I was going to need time to let myself heal, but I didn't want to say anything that could lead Ashley to think I hadn't enjoyed it and kept my mouth shut thinking about the future.41

I turned both taps of letting them drip, before hanging the face washer on the hot tap for someone else to find and wash and stepped out of the shower cubical reaching for the towel Ashley had brought me back along with a set of clean clothes for himself and I.42

Ashley stood up arching his back. Swinging his arms around like the propeller of a helicopter or a half ass attempt at the sprinkler dance Maggie had once demonstrated Tanya and I long before Trey was even on the scene and I could remember who my father was and where he was.43

I quickly dressed putting on my shorts and shirt. The feeling of clean fabric against my skin was a god sent and it felt good to not only smell decent, but look half decent as well. Never again did I ever want to get into such a state.44

“By the way,” Ashley said stopping his dorky dance routine to open the bathroom door. He eyeballed my body giving me a nod of appreciation and stepped out into the hallway pointing to the phone and the flickering red light of the answering machine.45

“I think I heard the phone ringing, but it could have just been my imagination,” Ashley said twirling around in the hallway. His spirits were high. It was nice to see his frown now replaced with a beaming smile and his enthusiastic attitude. It felt like the good old days.46

I threw Ashley the sodden towel. Closing the bathroom door behind me. That was mark one ticked of on my do to list before hell on wheels came home.47

I would mop up the mess when I had a spare moment, but at this moment my main priority had now become the messages on the answering machine and the sick that was in front of Maggie's door.48

“Do me a favor and chuck that into the washing machine and if you can, find me a bucket and a cloth. Someone's going to have to clean up this filth and it might as well be me before Maggie gets to it first.”49

Ashley nodded padding his way into the laundry.50

I stopped for a moment admiring the way that he had lifted my own dampened spirits, yet again reminding me about the happiness I did deserve in life and the love that ha felt for me. I wished I could dance my own victory jig and had my life been something different than it was, like a movie or a fairytale I would have swept Ashley into my arms and carried him into the sunshine that was my dream world.51

Instead I wandered over to the answering machine and inhaled deeply preparing myself for what was to come from the voice on the other line.52

“You have – One new message- Message one,” The recorded woman sounded through the house.53

“Hello Taint, Maggie- It's mum here,” Tanya's alarmed and distressed voice sounded through the speaker.54

“ I have reached the hospital. The doctors say that Trey needs his stomach pumped and that once they have ridden all the toxins from his body he will need to say overnight for observations.”55

Overnight. They wanted to keep him overnight?56

So Trey hadn't drunk himself to death and they were working away at keeping the bastard alive? I wondered if they would bother if they knew what a monster he was and the reasons why he had drank himself into intoxication in the first place?57

“In case you get hungry, there is some loose on change on my side of the bedside table. Take it and get yourself something to eat and drink for dinner. With any luck I will be home sometime tomorrow morning. I love you both and keep safe”58

Message ended – You have no new message.59

Number two ticked of my things to do list.60

I pressed the delete button on the machine erasing the message. Tanya's voice resounded in my head. She had sounded so-derailed. 61

How could she be so compassionate and concerned about Trey's wellbeing when he did it to himself and after all she had been through. After all he had done to her and Maggie. How could she care?62

I found it hard to concentrate and didn't even hear Ashley walking down the hallway towards me. I ran my hands through my hair squeezing and tugging on large handfuls of it till I let it go and looked at the strands I had pulled out.63

“You'll go bald if you keep that up,” Ashley said handing me a pastel blue bucket filled with hot soapy water and yellow squeeze cloth.64

“I take it that was your mum,” Ashley stated looking over to Maggie's door.65

“I also take it that she won't be coming back by the sounds of it so if you would like I will call my rents and tell them I am staying over your house tonight to support you cause your mother has gone to the hospital.”66

I got down on all fours before the mess.67

“I don't want to make any more trouble for you than I probably most likely already have. I don't want to give your mother a reason to hate me as well as your father.”68

Ashley chuckled.69

“My mums not that much of a pushover and I think don't need another reason to get on my fathers bad books. It wouldn't matter what you did. He is still going to be the same narrow minded bigot prick he has always been. Besides, what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I left you in a time of crisis? My mother will understand and at the moment my father can kiss his own ass for all I care.”70

I stopped scrubbing, throwing the repugnant cloth into the soapy warm water. The sick had seeped between my fingers. I dipped them into the water trying to get as much of it of my fingers so that I would not have to clean up another puddle and then rose to my feet, picking the bucket of the ground. 71

I nodded in agreement pointing at the phone and ran to the laundry dumping the bucket into the troth beside the washing machine. Number three ticked of the list. I turned on the hot water looking out into the hallway to where Ashley stood with his hands on his hips looking at the phone with uncertainty. 72

“Do you want me to stay Taint?” He asked picking up the receiver. His fingers ready to dial the numbers.73

I nodded wiping my hands clean on a nearby laundry towel.74

“If you could. I don't think I can make it through the night without you.”75