Stars

Redwood, Beech, Dogwood, Pine, Ash, Maple, even Weeping Willow, none stand alone. In a forest, there is support for all the different life, standing together. Yet, even she managed to change that somehow, and become the lonely Willow, rotting from the inside out. Dead within, yet alive to everyone, and everything around her. 1


To say she was hollow, and empty, was an understatement, alas it was true,
To say she was happy, would be telling more that just a white lie,
To say she hated her life was an understatement, but alas it was true.2


The cool night air kissed her skin softly, brushing her thick locks from her pale face, revealing a deep crimson-purple mark. The palms of her hands were pressed into the thick forest grass, her head tilted back, taking in the quiet peace. This late at night, or could have been this early in the morning, the grass was already beginning to dew, wetting her hands. It was a spring night, meaning it was still fairly chilly out, and yet here she sat, sleeves of her shirt pushed up to her biceps, and her sweats rolled up to her mid-thigh. Goose-bumps rose along her skin, and she did nothing.3

The scars that marked her skin shone silver in the moonlight. Sadly, not all were old and silvered, there were new cuts, fresh ones with dry blood running down her arms and legs. She always showed her scars when she was alone, she found it defined her, and in some sick way, she found them beautiful. 4

The nights where she braved escaping home, and hiding here, she felt… at peace. In the forest, there were no signs of the life she resented, except for her own self. At home she was hated. At home she was ignored. At school, she was laughed at. At school, she was pushed around. Anywhere, she wanted to die.5


To say she loved her home would be lying,
To say her father hit her, was an understatment,
To say she had friends would be bigger than a fib.6


There’s a point where life becomes meaningless. Sasha hit it somewhere between the time her father first beat her, and the time she first cut. Either way, Sasha knew her life was over. She was like the tree that looks so strong, yet is rotten and hollow within. 7

Sas remembered a time, when her mother still lived, and her father didn’t drink. Her and her father lay beneath the blanket of stars, attempting to count them. Her father used to call her a star, say she was bright, and beautiful… but that was when he was happy. She hadn’t known it then, and now would gladly have said it, but had to accept just speaking aloud to herself, “Most stars we see, are already dead“ She could picture the shock on her father’s face, if she had said that to him. 8

She hated pretending she was something she wasn’t. She hated hiding her true self. But tonight, she didn’t have to hide, tonight she could show her real self..9

Sasha released a hand from the grass’s dewy grip, and looked to see what was hidden in her palm. The metal of the blade glistened in the moonlight, reflecting it onto her face. Specks of crimson were dried on the smooth surface. Sasha smiled feebly, she could now take control of her life again, do the one thing she knew she could do right. She could end it all with a few swift slits.10


To say she took control was an understatement,
To say she didn’t do it, and it all turned out good and happy, was a lie,
To say she relished in the fact she had done it, was an understatement,11

As she drew her knees closer to her body, and rested her arms against them so that she could see the blood pouring down, she breathed deeply, clearing her head. It was almost over, there was no going back now, she felt her self slipping away, a cold darkness edging over her brain. 12

Slowly, more and more, Sasha faded away. Her head got to heavy for her own body to support, she fell to the side, falling into a foetal-like position. This was it, she knew. This was the end, she knew. She’d finally be free, she hoped…13

To say she lived was a lie,
To say she was free was an understatement,
To say anyone really missed her… was a lie14


Did you know, most stars we see, are already dead?