Today You're Falling

It was never easy to open up to anyone.1

Anyone except for you.2

My lips just couldn't spit it out fast enough.3

All of it.4

Everything.5

Every secret.6

Every memory.7

Every fragile feeling.8

And the most extrordinary thing about it was that you listened.9

You cared!10

You didn't judge me!11

You didn't yell at me!12

You understood me.13

You made me smile when you hugged me.14

You made me laugh as I walked with you.15

You aroused my thoughts as you met me everyday right after class.16

For a while I thought that I was actually in love.17

It was the most wonderful feeling!18

But it was so confusing.19

I wasn't sure if I was in love.20

So I sought to piece the puzzle together.21

And then all the pieces finally fit.22

I was in love.23

Excited,24

Young,25

Confident,26

And so stupid I was.27

Because when I was about to tell you I learned of something.28

Whispers reached for my ears, dragging me closer.29

They told me that your lips had met anothers.30

They told me that I wasn't the only "special" one.31

I was just the only one dumb enough to think you loved me back.32

My hands clenched, my nails biting into my skin.33

I struggled not to hit the stone wall or scream in the hallway.34

I fought myself not to scream at you.35

But I was so mad.36

And you were the one who treated me as if I were something.37

You tricked me!38

Just to use me!39

And I wanted to hurt you so bad.40

Hurt you as bad as you had hurt me.41

Though, I knew that I was the one who had done this to myself.42

I had let myself believe.43

I had allowed hope to enter my life.44

Now I know much better.45

I was going to hurt you right away as my anger bruned.46

But I knew better not to let the raw wounds not to push me.47

So I planned on something better.48

Something that would hurt you more.49

I continued to act as if nothing was wrong.50

Smiled up at you,51

Hugged you,52

Laughed with you,53

Oh, and I also changed myself.54

I'm not going to be the shy girl anymore.55

The dull one, the boring girl.56

Everything abou me is different.57

The lines around my eyes are black,58

My smile large and fake,59

My clothing dark,60

And my mind set on my goal.61

Tell me, is it hard to hurt someone as bad as you hurt me?62

Because I'm about to hurt you.63

I can see the way your eyes sweep over me. The new me.64

I can see you try to follow me until I dash into the crowd.65

I know your waiting for your one chance.66

Your chance to take me.67

But the girl you are trying to take isn't me, you see.68

She is cruel.69

She is cold.70

She is willing.71

She is a whore.72

She is dark.73

She is unwhole.74

She is unpure.75

She is everything I'm not.76

And she is planning on destroying you.77

She's a monster I accidently let loose.78

She's the girl with darkness surrounding her eyes.79

She's the girl who won't listen to reason.80

And there's no stopping her now.81

So I suggest you watch out.82

Here she comes.83

No running.84

No hiding.85

Today, you're falling.