I wanted him to care

Everyday I find myself wondering if things are different maybe my life would be worth everything that I choose to do will change.1

My life is spent watching..... looking out for the people around me. Waiting for the people around me to fall so I can catch them. Waiting for them to turn the wrong way. So I can turn them on the right path. Save them from falling and hurting themselves. 2

I've never thought of myself as a person... i was never nothing more as a vessel in which my mind could walk around and function..... I never thought of myself as anything other then unreal. 3

When he walked into my life I smiled.... happiness within my life, creating ideas within my mind of what I wanted and what I wished. My life seemed to blur into what was my time with him and what was without. I never wanted someone so much.. My life to me seemed incomplete.. I couldn't live without him, it felt like I couldn't survive... My life consisted of him and only him. My life was nothing more then wishing and wanting to see him. He were my drug and I was addicted. 4

My life was excruciatingly painful. Suicide seemed the easy way out, but I couldn't do that to the people I loved. My life was now a spiraling vortex of pain.5

Wanting to be with him, knowing he could never feel this way about me. I shouldn't feel this way about him. 6

I cared about myself when he walked into my life..... The one thing that mattered was him, but I wanted him to notice me... I wanted him to care.