Early morning start, 9.00am. Shower, eat toast, fry eggs, drink coffee. First appointment’s at eleven. Catherine’s on her free at the college she’s attending. She likes to combine the half-hour break with the first half-hour of her free period. When she explains her reasoning for this, she tends to divulge into a barrage of the word ‘like’. When her sentences become little more than a combination of ‘like’, ‘right’, ‘you know what I mean?’ and ‘well’, the inner light bulb would tend to turn off. Eyes focus on the road, any attempt at communication seems utterly pointless. This was probably the most irritating session of the day; being still the morning with the added high-pitched, whiney, giggly voice of dear old Cat. She’d be the kind of girl, who at conception should have really had a different sperm enter the egg, just for the chance for her to have a less annoying personality.1
Midday Session, 12.30. Had lunch/dinner of chips and sausage, Martins’ Chip Shop, £1.85, tomato and mayonnaise included. Driving on, entering the OAP district. Gordon never learned to drive and it was never a surprise really. His ability at the wheel could be likened to a skunk’s ability to produce sweet smelling perfume from its arse. It just would never happen. He was a novice in his youth and a novice in his age. Gordon’s three-point-turns doubled, tripled, quadrupled, gave up on themselves and became zero-point-turns, or morphed into some bizarre drunken car activity. In short, there was no hope for him, a rare case, but indeed a rarity to be milked for all its worth. This is how, at least in this case, the driving instructor business goes; opportunities like these are seized. Someone so desperate at so late an age, anxious to learn against all reasonable thought, must be told they are progressing, even though they resemble a blind mole, both in aesthetics and in character. Comfort to console is usually sought for in the idea that this kind of thing was keeping him alive, for what else did he have to live for, but this tenacious ambition? Out of reach and unattainable.2
Late Afternoon/Early Evening Session, 5.30pm, ate at home, ate with wife, ate with kids, ate pasta, ate meat and vegetable assorted pasta sauce, ate side dish of salad, ate side dish of sweet corn. As for desert, that came in lesson time, served in a full and thick body and labelled under ‘guilty pleasures’. She steps into the car; an angel in body and mind. The most charming laugh, the most charming smile, a real beauty to behold. She was one of the 20 something crowd, maintaining her youth like a constant-automatic-skin-embedded airbrush. The heart beat races on the left side of the car, the right remains calm. The juxtaposition couldn't be made clearer at this moment. The right: long flowing hair, perfect skin, large perky breasts and a voluptuous body to boost. The left: ageing, receding hair line, skinny, bony, frail. After finishing the lesson, a late starting but accomplished driver, she exits the car. Left transfers to right, and mutters ‘‘I love you’’ under the breath, then drives home.3
Confessions to Catholicism, small little boxes to supposedly atone sin. Confession of intense dislike, exploitation and the dirty thoughts of unrequited love. The sins are forgiven. Just in time for work to begin tomorrow again.4
Author notes
Another assignment for Uni, I had to write the beggining of a story about a Driving Instructor. Enjoy. P.S. Not to be confused with the poor 1960's lack-of-subtlety inneundo-filled film with the same title. P.P.S. God I hate the Carry-On-esque genre.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Fantastic
Lol...Now I have to wonder what my driving instructor thought of me , It was a good write , F -
I could follow!! Yeah!!!
I think I miss the point on Uni though.... Well, well...
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I found this a bit difficult to read, but I think it's just because I'm not used to the style. As far as I can see, this is a good story though
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Ah no, when I was at college we'd always call a free period a 'free' for short. Thanks for the paying attention though, cheers very much.
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Sorry.....you just missed a word...I think...maybe not....in the beginning when you say:
First appointment’s at eleven. Catherine’s on her free at the college she’s attending.
Should it be "free period"?
If I'm wrong I apologize...just confused me is all.....excellent piece, still. Regardless.
~Brandi~ -
I think they should try cornflakes for their daily Iron requirements.
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Grammatical errors?
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Aside from some grammatical errors....this is hella interesting...it made me perk...I want more. No doubt.
~Brandi~ -
This is an interesting piece with good pacing theat uilds up well over teh course of the day and the story. I like the rather sordid lechery and tie in to confession at the end. God must find it strange to have to pardon so many different types of sin. I just read a competition entry about someone becoming addicted to drinking human blood(Obsesions by Elven Mage). This was just as interesting and rather more subtle.
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Blurg, thats most of the writing I'm gonna be doing nowadays.
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so you really are gonna submit all your uni assignments, yeah that's origional! (lol)
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