It was cold. So, so cold. Her breath left her in dissipating clouds. She had tried to warm her hands, as she used to in the winter as a child, by blowing on them, but the cold sucked the heat out almost immediately, leaving them chillier than before, the skin turning an unhealthy blue-ish purple.1
She wasn't completely sure what it was that she did to deserve being thrown in a freezing, damp cell, but she was in no shape to attempt an escape. Not anymore.2
Her forehead burned with a fever and her clothes were soaked with perspiration. She curled up as tight as she could, knees pressed uncomfortably against her chest to preserve what little warmth she could. She stayed in the corner, her muscles spasming, bleary eyes following the blurry figures walking back and forth before the bars, occasionally tossing in scraps of food for her, which were left ignored and taken away later, probably to be fed to the guard dogs stationed around the building.3
The dirty-blonde girl whimpered, shivering and trembling as she curled tighter into herself. Where was she?
Author notes
OK, I'm starting a story that I think I'll really like. Cliche', I know, but, the start is pretty cool!
A contest entry
- Give me stories! Anything...mostly or ideas by Miss Recondite.
200 points, ended September 30, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I like it. I found it very visually evoking. I'm intrigued, tell me more.
Oh, and everything is cliche, its just people have gotten bored of admitting it anymore.
-
so sad sissy....
-
Nice so far...but the background. I have this thing that is a long line from my father that gives me a headache when looking at this color blue for so long. And sometimes I pass out, but I love the story!
-
-
Oh my. I'll have to change that. I don't want readers to faint while reading my work... Or any work whatsoever. |D
-
-
Wait...
"her clothes were soaked with perspiration"
if it was so cold, why would that be happening...? -
-
It's basically saying that she's covered in water. Because it was damped, her clothes that is, the perspiration was all around and on her.
-
-
Perspiration is sweat...
-
-
O RLY? >:0
And you must also know, that she was in a cell for who knows how long without any food, so. Not to mention that, although the temperature is ghastly cold, the body can regenerate sweat if too cold. It's helping her regain her temperature.
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
